Episode 59
Six Months in Mexico City and Ohio Is Still Calling
Today is my six-month Mexico City-iversary, which I celebrated by locking myself out of my apartment twice in as many days. I also finally rode the Metro, heard the loudest clap of thunder I've ever heard while lying in shavasana, and fed an avocado to a squirrel named Pepe, who buried half of it and then shit all over my terrace. My ex-landlord also called to tell me he's suing me for a hate crime.
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Transcript
Hey, Jef, it's . Yeah, I heard your podcast, and you put my address out.
Speaker:That's gonna come back to haunt you, motherfucker.
Speaker:This is episode 59 of onefjef.
Speaker:Hola, mis amigos y amigas.
Speaker:Hello, everybody.
Speaker:Hello, my friends.
Speaker:Hello, you.
Speaker:Hello to you.
Speaker:I see you.
Speaker:Yeah, you.
Speaker:You.
Speaker:Listening to this podcast, I see you.
Speaker:You are doing great.
Speaker:You know what you're doing?
Speaker:You're thriving, and I like to see that, all of you.
Speaker:Whether you know it or not, you are thriving.
Speaker:Am I thriving?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Sure, I'm thriving.
Speaker:Seems rather non-committal, I understand, but that's about
Speaker:where I'm at right now, you know?
Speaker:But I do have an exciting announcement.
Speaker:Today is my six-month Mexico City aversary.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:I've been here six months.
Speaker:I mean, on and off, but let's just for the sake of celebration and joy,
Speaker:let's-- and, you know, marking occasions, all-- Let's just go with six months,
Speaker:because I arrived here on-- Well, when you're listening to this, it'll
Speaker:actually be, uh, six months and one day.
Speaker:Sorry about that.
Speaker:But right now, when I'm recording this, it is September 8th, and I arrived
Speaker:in Mexico City on March 8th, which if you do the math, is six months.
Speaker:That's a hard word to say, six months.
Speaker:Months.
Speaker:In Spanish, it's much easier.
Speaker:Meses.
Speaker:That's much better.
Speaker:Seis meses.
Speaker:That actually is a winner.
Speaker:That's better than six months.
Speaker:Para seis meses, or it's por seis meses.
Speaker:Porque por is with time, I think.
Speaker:So I think it's por seis meses, for six months.
Speaker:I'm getting better, poco a poco.
Speaker:Anyway, yeah, six months.
Speaker:Hard to believe, and also not hard to believe.
Speaker:Like it feels like longer, of course, because so much has happened.
Speaker:So much has happened.
Speaker:But you're asking in your head or out loud, whatever you choose, you're
Speaker:saying, "Jef, what are some takeaways?
Speaker:What have you learned?
Speaker:What have you not learned?
Speaker:Uh, what's been surprising?
Speaker:What's not been surprising?" Et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker:And I'm not gonna tell you that because I feel like these questions have been
Speaker:well covered in many episodes of the podcast over the past six months.
Speaker:So yeah, I'm not gonna tell you.
Speaker:You'll have to go back and listen.
Speaker:What you will get is a brand-new episode, a CDMX Dispatch episode with a bunch of,
Speaker:uh, exciting random things of me talking.
Speaker:For example, I got locked out of my apartment yesterday.
Speaker:Well, no, I didn't get locked out.
Speaker:I locked myself out of my apartment yesterday accidentally, of course.
Speaker:Why would I do it on purpose?
Speaker:Why would anybody?
Speaker:Why would I even have to say that word accidentally?
Speaker:Disregard.
Speaker:I locked myself out yesterday.
Speaker:I left my apartment without the keys.
Speaker:Two sets of keys I have.
Speaker:I left them both in the apartment.
Speaker:Uh, I thought I could just text the landlord and they'd come over and unlock
Speaker:the door, but they're out of town, so had to get in touch with a locksmith.
Speaker:So I reached out to Estie, bless her heart, and she called a locksmith for me.
Speaker:She called a few actually, and this very, very nice locksmith came, said
Speaker:a bunch of things in Spanish to me that I didn't understand, but he was
Speaker:smiling while he was saying them, and I just kind of nodded and laughed.
Speaker:Not laughed at him, laughed with him, and then he came up and unlocked the
Speaker:door, and he asked for, I think it was 300 pesos or something, which is not…
Speaker:It's like 20 bucks.
Speaker:So yeah.
Speaker:Good story, Jef.
Speaker:You got any other of those?
Speaker:You got anyth- got anything else like that?
Speaker:I do in fact have more like that
Speaker:I finally rode the subway here in Mexico City, uh, last weekend.
Speaker:Estie and I went to Centro, the historic center of the City of Mexico,
Speaker:and we went kind of sightseeing.
Speaker:We went to, um, Templo Mayor, which for those of you who aren't aware, I think it
Speaker:was 50 years ago or something, they were digging for electric-- burying electrical
Speaker:wire or water lines or something, and they hit this giant area of historic
Speaker:ruins from, like, the Aztec times, back when the Aztecs were living here and,
Speaker:you know, ripping people's hearts out while they're beating and then holding
Speaker:them up to sacrifice, you know, whatever.
Speaker:Crazy shit.
Speaker:Anyway, Templo Mayor is now this a, a huge open air archeological
Speaker:site, like, right in the middle of the historic center of Mexico City.
Speaker:It's really something else, and it's just right there, and next
Speaker:to these very historic churches.
Speaker:I mean, Mexico City is the oldest city in the Americas, I believe, and when you
Speaker:go there, you're like, "Oh, I get it.
Speaker:Yeah, it is.
Speaker:It's old here.
Speaker:Very old." Like, you know, BC kind of a thing.
Speaker:BC. It's weird that we delineate time by saying before Christ and after Christ.
Speaker:Isn't that… Is that right?
Speaker:It's BC and AD, after death, before Christ.
Speaker:It's really strange now that I think about it, and the whole world has to
Speaker:use this calendar, the one that's based on the, quote-unquote, "birthday of
Speaker:Jesus", who they don't really believe in.
Speaker:Huh.
Speaker:I never really thought about this.
Speaker:Has anybody thought about this like this?
Speaker:It's very strange.
Speaker:Very strange.
Speaker:Jesus, it's gotta be great.
Speaker:I mean, gee, what an ego he's gonna have.
Speaker:I mean, they name-- they, they're, they're telling time based on his birthday.
Speaker:H-His birthday is zero.
Speaker:How do you possibly go through life with a n- with, without an inflated ego if
Speaker:they're literally basing time, the, the, the measurement of time on your birthday?
Speaker:But apparently, according to all the records, Jesus stayed pretty humble.
Speaker:Of course, that was-- I don't think they decided to base the
Speaker:years on his birth until long after he was dead, so he never knew.
Speaker:But again, according to a lot of books, you would suggest he does know 'cause he's
Speaker:up there looking down on us or whatever.
Speaker:Um, yeah.
Speaker:Anyway, weird.
Speaker:Long story short, we took the subway to get to Centro.
Speaker:We took it from Insurgentes and, uh, took it, I don't know, five stops.
Speaker:It's very much like the New York subway, except there's
Speaker:no announcements in the cars.
Speaker:Maybe some cars have them, but there was no… You know, in New York City
Speaker:in the subway, there's usually an announcer that tries to say things
Speaker:sometimes, at least there used to be, and you would never understand a word.
Speaker:But
Speaker:then there's recordings.
Speaker:"Stand clear of the closing doors, please. Bing bong." That's New York City subway.
Speaker:It's iconic.
Speaker:Nothing like that in Mexico City.
Speaker:You just get in and the doors close.
Speaker:I mean, there's screens telling you, you know, where you're getting off
Speaker:and what stations and stuff, but there's nobody saying, "Be careful
Speaker:of the doors," anything at all.
Speaker:So that's interesting.
Speaker:Also, there's, like, rubber wheels on the cars, which I don't
Speaker:understand, but there we have it.
Speaker:There you have it.
Speaker:Apparently, the first two cars, I think, are meant for women and, like,
Speaker:the elderly, I guess, which is nice.
Speaker:In New York, they just had the special seats that you'd give up to pregnant
Speaker:women or elderly people or whatever.
Speaker:But I guess there's a lot of perhaps groping on the subway sometimes, like
Speaker:late at night, so there's a place for women to go and feel safe and not g- like
Speaker:they're gonna get groped, which is great.
Speaker:The non-groping cars or whatever.
Speaker:Anyway, it was fine.
Speaker:It was kind of, uh, anticlimactic in a way 'cause it was really just a subway,
Speaker:and I hadn't, like, been avoiding it.
Speaker:I just hadn't ridden it.
Speaker:So now I have.
Speaker:And now I plan to ride it again because it's profoundly inexpensive.
Speaker:I think the Mexico City subway is one of the least expensive subways in the world.
Speaker:It's literally, like, 20 cents maybe.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Very clean too.
Speaker:Of course, it doesn't run all night like New York, which is
Speaker:their excuse for the filthy state of most of the subway stations.
Speaker:"Well, it runs all night. We have no time to clean." Okay.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Look at me getting triggered by the New York City subway again.
Speaker:Anyway, rode the subway, checked that off the old Mexico City list, and got
Speaker:it in under the six-month mark as well.
Speaker:So hooray me.
Speaker:One of the things about Mexico City that I don't care for is the
Speaker:disregard for pedestrians, the general disregard for pedestrians.
Speaker:It is a car-centric city in a, an unusual way.
Speaker:The streets here … New York City has a grid, right?
Speaker:They have the grid, Manhattan.
Speaker:You know, it's very clear, first, second, third.
Speaker:Very easy to figure out.
Speaker:The way that the streets were planned out here in Mexico City is very
Speaker:confusing, and it seems very haphazard.
Speaker:A lot of the parks and Cibelis, which is the s- traffic circle near
Speaker:me, it's just got streets kind of shooting out wherever, wherever, right?
Speaker:And as a result, the subsequent streets outside of these parks and
Speaker:circle areas become a mishmash of strange intersections, confusing, weird
Speaker:intersections, which wouldn't be so bad if it were not for the pedestrians,
Speaker:because it's extremely confusing to be a pedestrian in this city.
Speaker:There are walk signs and don't walk signs some, some places.
Speaker:Not a lot, but some.
Speaker:And even those, in places, will be like, w- why can I walk halfway
Speaker:across the street and not … And then I have to stop in the middle
Speaker:of the four-lane, eight-lane road.
Speaker:Insurgentes, I'm speaking of.
Speaker:If you know, you know.
Speaker:But, like, what's going on with those walk lights?
Speaker:It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker:And this is common.
Speaker:And in other places, you just have to look at the traffic light to
Speaker:see whether you're able to walk.
Speaker:I run across the street more often than I walk, I'll say that.
Speaker:I'm often running across the street.
Speaker:Like, not running, but, like, I'll start to walk, and then I'll, like,
Speaker:kind of do a, like a little jog for the last several steps, 'cause
Speaker:I don't wanna get hit by a car.
Speaker:Most days I love it here.
Speaker:Most days Mexico City is kind of magical and different and unique
Speaker:and exciting and all those things.
Speaker:But then other days I am just not in the mood for Mexico City,
Speaker:and today is one of these days.
Speaker:I mean, I woke up in a bad mood, but
Speaker:Went for a walk and I'm just-- Sometimes when I go for a walk,
Speaker:y- I just feel like an outsider.
Speaker:And of course, I am an outsider, right?
Speaker:And I'll always be an outsider to a degree.
Speaker:And usually, again, this is okay, but some days it's just like I am not in
Speaker:the mood for the, the, the inherent difficulty of, of navigating Mexico City.
Speaker:Which, you know, makes sense
Speaker:It makes sense.
Speaker:I have no routine here, I've been realizing.
Speaker:Like, I've been here almost six months and I don't have a routine.
Speaker:Like, every week is different, which is kind of what I came here for in a way.
Speaker:But I'm finding myself starting to crave a consistent routine of sorts, and like
Speaker:the last two weeks have been this teeth thing, so it's always something or other.
Speaker:And maybe that's a good thing.
Speaker:Maybe that keeps the life interesting.
Speaker:But I do wish that there would be some constants, you know?
Speaker:I mean, can life be unique, fun, and exciting forever?
Speaker:I know I'm putting unique, fun, and exciting in the
Speaker:same box, but it kind of is.
Speaker:I mean, that's what keeps life interesting is uniqueness, new stuff, right?
Speaker:But some weeks I'm just like, "I don't want new stuff. I just wanna
Speaker:process the, the old stuff, the current stuff. I wanna process that."
Speaker:My favorite Spanish word is rompecabezas, which means puzzle.
Speaker:Ro- hold on.
Speaker:Hold on.
Speaker:Here we go.
Speaker:Rompecabezas.
Speaker:Rompecabezas.
Speaker:God, I just can't get it.
Speaker:It's like I have to… Rompecabezas.
Speaker:Rompecabezas.
Speaker:That's not bad.
Speaker:Correr.
Speaker:Guitar.
Speaker:Guitar.
Speaker:All right, that's enough
Speaker:I was in a yoga class last night.
Speaker:It was about 5 or 6 PM, 7 PM.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:It's a place I go to a lot.
Speaker:You have to walk up five flights of stairs to get to the studio,
Speaker:which is on the t- very top floor of this, like, old, strange building.
Speaker:I'm not entirely sure if it's offices or what.
Speaker:It's a very old, weird building.
Speaker:And this top floor is, like, got, like, a metal roof, you know?
Speaker:Like a… I don't know if it's tin, but whatever.
Speaker:You know, a metal roof.
Speaker:And as I was walking there, the-- you could-- there's thundering,
Speaker:and it's a storm coming in.
Speaker:I brought my umbrella.
Speaker:But then as we're doing the yoga class, the storm is kind of
Speaker:developing and starting to rain.
Speaker:Right towards the last quarter of the class, it starts to rain
Speaker:a little bit, and it starts to rain harder and harder and harder.
Speaker:And we're in Shavasana.
Speaker:Uh, like, who doesn't know what that is at this point?
Speaker:Even if you don't do yoga, it's the part where you lie down at the end.
Speaker:Corpse pose they call it in English, which is…
Speaker:I go-- I'm gonna go with Shavasana, frankly, because
Speaker:nobody wants to hear corpse pose.
Speaker:Um, we're all lying there and, like, I-- you have your eyes closed, and
Speaker:I saw this big flash like lightning, and then about four seconds later,
Speaker:the loudest clap of thunder.
Speaker:And I think I've mentioned other loud claps of thunder on this podcast
Speaker:before, but my friends, believe me when I tell you this was the loudest
Speaker:clap of thunder I have ever heard.
Speaker:The, the building shook.
Speaker:Like, the, the, the, the roof rattled.
Speaker:It-- and it was, like, not just one.
Speaker:It was like boom, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-boom.
Speaker:And I saw a video on Instagram of the same thunderclap, and it checks out
Speaker:So Shavasana ended at that point because there's no way anybody could like
Speaker:relax because the thunder was… And another few happened like just crazy.
Speaker:I have never heard thunder like I've heard in Mexico City and I love it.
Speaker:I mean, I do love a great storm, so I'm not complaining about it.
Speaker:If you really zoom out, it's like, whoa, it's-- I mean, how weird
Speaker:it is to be here at all, but then also that there's water that falls
Speaker:from the sky and then this noise.
Speaker:I don't know, something to think about, like a constant electrical
Speaker:storm above our heads, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Anyway, it was an exciting yoga class
Speaker:One of the other things with Mexico City is, is there's so many restaurants.
Speaker:Like, I don't know how all these restaurants, and coffee houses
Speaker:for that matter, I don't know how they all stay in business
Speaker:because there are so many of them.
Speaker:And so often when I walk by many of them, they're empty.
Speaker:They're empty.
Speaker:So I don't really know how it all works.
Speaker:I understand that there's a lot of people who live here, but even
Speaker:that, it seems like the proportion of restaurants, it seems very high.
Speaker:And the fact that many of them are empty, it's very confusing to me
Speaker:But my point is, is that due to this abundance of restaurant, this
Speaker:insane abundance of restaurants, that you get overwhelmed m- by choice.
Speaker:And I've talked about this on the podcast, too, the old toothpaste dilemma.
Speaker:I'm not gonna go into it again, but, you know, if you know, you know.
Speaker:So it becomes very hard to, like, just choose where to eat
Speaker:'cause you got so many choices.
Speaker:And as a result, you know, I'll often eat at the same place, this little
Speaker:cafe over in Cibelis that I like, which feels lazy, but it's also familiar and
Speaker:then it, it gets rid of the choice.
Speaker:I can just choose one kind of toothpaste and stick with it.
Speaker:But then you want variety, but the, the toothpaste metaphor
Speaker:falls apart at this point 'cause who wants variety in toothpaste?
Speaker:But food, yes, you want variety.
Speaker:Anyway, there's too many fucking restaurants in Mexico City.
Speaker:Hey, Jef, it's . Yeah, I heard your podcast, and you put my address out.
Speaker:That's gonna come back to haunt you, motherfucker.
Speaker:My ex-landlord, who I've talked about quite a bit on this
Speaker:podcast, and who I thought was out of my life forever, you know.
Speaker:One of the main reasons that I moved is because of this gentleman, if you recall.
Speaker:And I thought, "Thank goodness I am no longer in that house.
Speaker:I will not have to deal with him ever again." But then also, there
Speaker:was a little piece in the back of my head that was like, "Eh, I think
Speaker:you might hear from him again.
Speaker:I think you might." Like 10%.
Speaker:And lo and behold, two or three nights ago, I get a call from the one and only
Speaker:ex-landlord of me saying he was going to sue me because he had apparently
Speaker:discovered the podcast and heard that I had mentioned the address on the
Speaker:podcast and that that was grounds to sue.
Speaker:I think he was also just, like, butthurt because I had spoken the truth about him.
Speaker:Because I, I actually went back and listened to the things that
Speaker:I said about him on the podcast.
Speaker:Well, I looked it up.
Speaker:But I, I couldn't find any place where I said the address, so if anybody who's
Speaker:listening is a very detail-oriented listener and remembers this, please
Speaker:let me know what episode or where it is that I did say the address.
Speaker:Just so I know, 'cause I don't remember that at all.
Speaker:But really, I think he's just butthurt because, you know,
Speaker:I spoke the truth about him.
Speaker:All the things I said about him on this podcast were 100% true.
Speaker:I'll stand behind every single one of those things.
Speaker:But he was saying he's going to sue me for endangering the neighbor somehow,
Speaker:even though addresses are public records.
Speaker:A lot of nonsense.
Speaker:I would feel sorry for because he is like a, he's a lonely alcoholic.
Speaker:Like, I don't know.
Speaker:He d- he has, he never had a job while I was there.
Speaker:But I would feel sorry for him if he wasn't such an
Speaker:asshole But he's an asshole.
Speaker:He's an asshole.
Speaker:And a little bit sociopathic, I think.
Speaker:And I think it's been fairly well established at this point
Speaker:because, like, what the fuck, bro?
Speaker:Hey, Jef, it's . Answer the phone, you coward.
Speaker:Come on, man, answer the phone or call me back, you coward.
Speaker:But now he's going to sue me, he said, for a hate crime.
Speaker:A hate crime.
Speaker:Apparently, he's getting in touch with his lawyer, so I am excited to find out
Speaker:what the crime that I have committed is.
Speaker:I remember one time I was living there, and I was probably working in
Speaker:my office, and I heard screaming, and I went out-- I think I went out to my
Speaker:porch, my back porch, and looked out, and the landlord was out there screaming
Speaker:at an Amazon driver, screaming at him.
Speaker:That's not cool.
Speaker:I don't care whether he dropped your package or not.
Speaker:That ain't good.
Speaker:I must have sent him the text message two or three, four times that said, "I would
Speaker:like for our relationship to be strictly a landlord-tenant relationship," basically
Speaker:asking for a very clear boundary.
Speaker:One time he-- I sent that and he wrote back, "Ha," which is great.
Speaker:The other times he was very just dismissive of it, which if I was a
Speaker:landlord, I would want my tenant to be as comfortable as possible, and
Speaker:if that meant that I couldn't, you know, treat him like my buddy, which
Speaker:I don't even know, then so be it.
Speaker:Like I made it a clear-- That was a clear way of me saying, "Hey, leave me alone."
Speaker:But no, no.
Speaker:In fact, almost every time when I was out of town all last year, I would
Speaker:get texts from him asking where I was.
Speaker:"Where are you?
Speaker:Where are you?
Speaker:Where are you?
Speaker:What are you doing?" I almost never answered.
Speaker:I never answered until one time he said, "Is somebody in your house?" He
Speaker:texted, "Is somebody in your house?"
Speaker:And then I was worried, so I was like, "No. Who is-- Is everything okay?" He's
Speaker:like, "Oh, it must have just been the storm, the rainstorm. Where are you?"
Speaker:So I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by this popping up in
Speaker:my life again, whatever it is.
Speaker:When I moved in there, I had to buy my own fire extinguisher.
Speaker:Y-y-- A landlord's supposed to provide a fire extinguisher, of course.
Speaker:And when I asked him about it, he said, "I don't deal with fire extinguishers."
Speaker:I basically stopped asking him to repair anything towards the end unless it
Speaker:was absolutely necessary because every time I w- I had something to fix, he
Speaker:would try to schedule it when I was home so he could interact with me.
Speaker:One time the sink was broken.
Speaker:I think it was the last thing I asked him to fix was the sink was broken, and I had
Speaker:cut my hand on a wine glass while I was washing dishes, not because the sink was
Speaker:broken, just because the wine glass was slippery and I cut my hand and I broke it.
Speaker:But it was a bad cut, so I had wrapped my hand in like, you know, bandages or
Speaker:whatever, and I went up to my bedroom to kind of just like chill 'cause I
Speaker:knew he was coming over to fix the sink.
Speaker:So when he came over to fix the sink, I said, "Just let…" I
Speaker:texted him, "Just let yourself in.
Speaker:I cut my hand on a wine glass." And he writes back, "Is that supposed
Speaker:to be my fault?" And I'm like, "No.
Speaker:No, of course…" It's insane to talk about it.
Speaker:Like, like I hear myself talking about it, I'm like, oh, like how was this ever okay?
Speaker:When I told him the sink was broken, he said, "If any parts are missing from the
Speaker:sink, I'll charge you for a new sink."
Speaker:Sometime in, I think it was late last year, I was hanging out on my front porch
Speaker:with my cousin Brian, and at this point, I had not interacted with the landlord
Speaker:socially for at least two years, and I had given no indication that I wanted to.
Speaker:But me and my cousin are sitting there in the middle of a conversation, and apropos
Speaker:of nothing, the landlord just walks out on the porch and says, "Can I join you?"
Speaker:And I'm, I'm kinda shocked, but I'm also triggered, so I'm just like, "No,
Speaker:we're going inside." So I immediately just walk inside and start closing the
Speaker:blinds, and he starts yelling on the porch, "Oh, is that how it's gonna be?
Speaker:Is that how it's gonna be?" And I'm thinking, "Bro, it's been
Speaker:like this for two years at least.
Speaker:Like, this isn't new." And then I sent him the message again about the
Speaker:boundaries, how I want-- trying to establish a clear tenant-landlord
Speaker:relationship. It was probably the third or fourth time I sent it
Speaker:And it's interesting 'cause, like, oftentimes when I would tell people these
Speaker:stories about my landlord, they would be like, "Oh, he just seems like a nice guy.
Speaker:He's just trying to be friends," blah, blah, blah. I'm like,
Speaker:"No, you don't understand.
Speaker:You don't understand." And even my cousin would say the same thing, "He
Speaker:sounds like just a nice guy." But after this encounter with him, he was
Speaker:like, "Bro, you gotta get out of here.
Speaker:That was creepy." And that was about the time that I made the decision,
Speaker:like, I had to get out of there.
Speaker:I'm getting triggered again talking about it, and that pisses me off.
Speaker:And now he's back, you know.
Speaker:Now he's back because he apparently can't-- Like, as my friend John said,
Speaker:he's, like, obsessed with me in this creepy way, and he keeps asking for
Speaker:my address in Mexico City so we can send the whatever, like subpoena.
Speaker:I don't know what you send.
Speaker:Whatever you send.
Speaker:Absolutely not.
Speaker:What are you gonna do, extradite me?
Speaker:Anyway, so if I were to predict what's going to happen in this scenario,
Speaker:I would say that nothing's going to happen because there's really no law
Speaker:that I've broken here, and it will turn out that this is just some bizarre
Speaker:way for him to get my attention again.
Speaker:That said, I do appreciate him listening to my podcast.
Speaker:Any listener is a wonderful listener, and I've invited him to come on the
Speaker:podcast, but he has, he has been hesitant.
Speaker:So if you do wanna come on the podcast, let's do it, buddy.
Speaker:Let's do it.
Speaker:It'd be great content.
Speaker:Great content
Speaker:He's like a, a, a lunatic who thinks that he's a sane genius.
Speaker:It's very Trumpian in a way
Speaker:There are these two squirrels that come and hang out on my
Speaker:terrace mostly about every day.
Speaker:One of them I have named Pepe.
Speaker:Pepe.
Speaker:Pepe.
Speaker:And the other one I've named Rojo because red, and the squirrel
Speaker:has some red, so it seemed like a very easy and appropriate name.
Speaker:Rojo.
Speaker:Anyway, they were around on Sunday, and Estee was over, and we were watching,
Speaker:like, Pepe was, like, frolicking in the, the tree pot or whatever, rolling around.
Speaker:And I said, "I should get them some nuts.
Speaker:I should get some nuts or whatever and feed them." And she said, "Oh,
Speaker:they'll eat avocados, too." So when Pepe came around today, I had these little
Speaker:avocados, and I just rolled one out the old door there, and Pepe was into it.
Speaker:Pepe devoured that avocado like you have never seen a person devour an
Speaker:avocado, or a squirrel for that matter
Speaker:And I think I've created a monster of sorts because Pepe then proceeded
Speaker:to bury the rest of the avocado in the tree pot and then come right
Speaker:up to the door and just kind of stare at me like, "Where's-- More?
Speaker:More?
Speaker:Is there any more?" Came back later, did the same thing, and the squirrel,
Speaker:Pepe, comes right up to the door.
Speaker:These squirrels in Mexico City give no fucks.
Speaker:In the United States, squirrels are generally afraid of humans because
Speaker:humans used to eat squirrels.
Speaker:But in Mexico, they never ate squirrels, so the squirrels are
Speaker:really not very afraid of humans.
Speaker:You can often feed them out of your hands.
Speaker:I do not do this, but people do.
Speaker:I've seen it happen.
Speaker:So Pepe gives no shits about-- does not-- is not afraid of me at all,
Speaker:which is cute 'cause it comes r- you know, he comes right up to the door.
Speaker:And I apologize for misgendering you, Pepe.
Speaker:Pepe is actually, now I've learned, a female because when it came up
Speaker:to the door, I saw Pepe's teats.
Speaker:Sorry.
Speaker:Anyway, I don't know if it was on purpose, but once Pepe realized I didn't or wasn't
Speaker:going to give it any more food, him, her, any more food, Pepe proceeded to
Speaker:shit all over my terrace and my chair.
Speaker:The good news is squirrel's poop is perfectly round like a
Speaker:rabbit, so it's easy to clean up.
Speaker:But still, you know, fuck you, Pepe.
Speaker:I did you a solid, and you shat on my terrace
Speaker:And now Pepe is going to be coming back every day looking for handouts because
Speaker:I guess that's how squirrels roll.
Speaker:I should have known this.
Speaker:And it won't, who knows?
Speaker:Who knows?
Speaker:I shouldn't have started with the avocado.
Speaker:I should have started small because now the squirrel has gotten a whole avocado
Speaker:and that I feel like that's a prize.
Speaker:Anyway, I'll keep you posted on that too.
Speaker:So this is a late addition to the podcast.
Speaker:I'm recording this on the day that I was going to release this episode initially,
Speaker:but as I was editing this episode last night, I was going out for a walk, and
Speaker:I locked myself out of my apartment for the second time in as many days.
Speaker:Yeah, I don't know either.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:You tell me.
Speaker:I haven't locked myself out of anything for many, many, many years.
Speaker:In fact, I cannot think of the last time I locked myself out of anything.
Speaker:I locked myself out of my car when I was, like, in my 20s.
Speaker:But since then, I really have no recollection.
Speaker:Oh, I locked myself out of my house when I lived in Savannah, Georgia,
Speaker:but that was 30-- 20, 30 years ago.
Speaker:So maybe I'm just making up for lost time here.
Speaker:Maybe these two-- I mean, if I do it two times in two days, I'm actually
Speaker:afraid to leave the house now or the apartment because Lord knows.
Speaker:Double-checking two or three times.
Speaker:The funny thing is I have two sets of keys in the apartment here.
Speaker:Left them both in there.
Speaker:Anyway, also gonna use this opportunity to give a little update
Speaker:on the landlord situation, the former landlord situation, that is.
Speaker:Since the events I described in the, I guess, earlier segment in this
Speaker:podcast, the ex-landlord did finally speak to his attorney, apparently, and
Speaker:learned that he has no case, which, of course, I knew from the beginning.
Speaker:But, you know, some people, it takes a while.
Speaker:So unfortunately, it does not seem like there will be any
Speaker:more drama with the ex-landlord.
Speaker:He did very gently acknowledge that he was incorrect and that I was right, and
Speaker:then he sent me a photo of his breakfast, a text message of his breakfast, and
Speaker:that was the last that I heard from him.
Speaker:And that's a good thing.
Speaker:That's a good thing.
Speaker:But again, ex-landlord, if you're listening to this, and I know you
Speaker:are, if you would like to come on the podcast and talk it out or yell
Speaker:it out, defend yourself, whatever it is, accuse me of a hate crime, shoot
Speaker:me an email, onefjefpod@gmail.com, or call me, 1-669-241-5882.
Speaker:Anyway
Speaker:And that is it for this sixth year and one-day Mexico City-iversary spectacular.
Speaker:You heard me.
Speaker:What a ride, am I right?
Speaker:Like the subway and the Metro.
Speaker:What a ride.
Speaker:If you enjoyed this ride, or even if you didn't enjoy this ride, won't
Speaker:you please go to patreon.com/onefjef and sign up for my Patreon page?
Speaker:You can do it for free, but even better, you can pledge, subscribe.
Speaker:You can pledge $5 a month.
Speaker:You can pledge $25 a month.
Speaker:You can pledge $100 a month.
Speaker:But anything you pledge will be much appreciated by me 'cause
Speaker:I'm the sole proprietor, creator, and progenitor of this podcast.
Speaker:If I used that word incorrectly, I don't care 'cause it sounded right,
Speaker:so… And it takes a lot of time to put this content together for all of you.
Speaker:So ifin you are interested in supporting an independent podcast
Speaker:such as this one, please do do that.
Speaker:Go to patreon.com/onefjef and sign up.
Speaker:You will not be disappointed, and I will definitely not be disappointed.
Speaker:And while I'm here, I'd be remiss if I didn't remind you politely to
Speaker:like, rate, subscribe, and review this podcast on whatever platform
Speaker:you happen to be listening on.
Speaker:Ideally Apple Podcasts, but any platform will do.
Speaker:Give it a good old review there.
Speaker:Subscribe to it.
Speaker:Do all the things to it.
Speaker:Do everything to it that you can, you know, legally.
Speaker:And thank you for that.
Speaker:If you would like to follow the podcast on Instagram, the podcast is @onefjefpod.
Speaker:If you'd like to email the podcast questions, concerns, confusion,
Speaker:angry, raving emails, threats to sue, onefjefpod@gmail.com.
Speaker:And if you'd like to leave a voicemail message, angry, happy, sad, confused,
Speaker:sing me a song, anything you want.
Speaker:You can call me at 1-669-241-5882.
Speaker:Oh, I didn't find that last note, did I?
Speaker:Sorry.
Speaker:Beyond that, I thought it was all right.
Speaker:I mean, not, you know, not a banger, but a tapper, right?
Speaker:Call and leave a voicemail.
Speaker:And all of this stuff I just said is in the show notes in
Speaker:case you didn't get it all.
Speaker:In case you're frantically trying to grab a pen and write all this down as
Speaker:quickly as you can, don't you fret.
Speaker:No need for that pen, my friend.
Speaker:Just go to the show notes.
Speaker:All sorts of information and clicky things, all sorts of stuff.
Speaker:Everybody likes to click on things, don't they?
Speaker:Sure they do
Speaker:Finally, um, as I'm wont to do, I will end this podcast with a quote that I enjoy
Speaker:and find meaningful, and this is one by F.
Speaker:Scott Fitzgerald
Speaker:For what it's worth, it's never too late, or in my case, too early,
Speaker:to be whoever you want to be.
Speaker:There's no time limit.
Speaker:Start whenever you want.
Speaker:You can change or stay the same.
Speaker:There are no rules to this thing.
Speaker:We can make the best or the worst of it.
Speaker:I hope you make the best of it.
Speaker:I hope you see things that startle you.
Speaker:I hope you feel things you've never felt before.
Speaker:I hope you meet people who have a different point of view.
Speaker:I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you're not, I hope you
Speaker:have the courage to start over again
Speaker:I'll see you next week Very good, Jeffrey
