Who Invented Candy Canes?

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Bubby, when? What's your favourite thing about Christmas?

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Oh my goodness, that's interesting. What's your least favourite thing about Christmas?

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Sounds like Bubby’s got some friends!

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This is episode 29 of onefjef.

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29 is a prime number that tends to show up when neat systems start to strain.

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February only reaches 29 when the calendar needs correcting,

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and the lunar month lands at about 29 and a half days, which is why early time keeping was never clean.

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It sits just beyond 28.

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A number long-treated as complete, giving 29 the feel of spillover rather than closure.

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The extra beat after a cycle should be done.

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Hello my friends, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, so forth.

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I hope you're all thriving, as always.

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I'm digging into my archive this week and playing a Christmas radio show that I recorded 19 years ago when I was in film school in Savannah, Georgia.

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It's the first appearance of a character who I now call Feffrey but who in this radio show goes by Nigel.

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This episode is definitely a departure from my normal content, but it's Christmas, and this radio show has a bit of a cult status among some of my friends.

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So it feels appropriate to share it with the world now that I have a place to share it.

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And speaking of Christmas, if you've been enjoying this podcast over the last seven months, please consider giving me the gift of a small donation by way of my Patreon page.

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As little as $5 a month and you get access to a bunch of extra content, and you'll help support the show, which I gift you for free every week.

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Simply go to patreon.com/onefjef and sign up.

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And thank you as always to my current Patreon subscribers. I really do appreciate the support.

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Just as a disclaimer, what you're about to hear was recorded 19 years ago, and I'm playing a character.

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So any opinions and beliefs expressed by that character are not mine. They're Feffrey's.

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There's also quite a bit of offensive language in there, so this one might not be for the kids, or my mom. Consider yourself warned.

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And there's also music in the original radio show, which I've had to cut on here so that Spotify doesn't get mad at me.

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This is going to be a divisive episode, and I'm okay with that.

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Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here.

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Here's Candy Canes. Recorded on December 8, 2006.

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Ding dong is Christmas! Hello everyone, it's me again, Simbaland.

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And I'm here with you on the radio to tell you about Christmas stories.

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All right, one story is two years ago on Christmas, my brother died.

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Bling, bling, bling, long. Oh! Oh, it's silly. It's silly it is. Seriously though.

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Ladies and gentlemen, Christmas is a magical time of year.

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One time on Christmas, I got a sandwich from my uncle.

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Oh, he was at a delicious cheese sandwich with mayonnaise and cheddar cheese.

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Oh, blind me. It was fucking delicious.

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Oh, another time on Christmas. I got a cheese.

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Oh, just a moment. I got a candy cane. Oh, it looks candy canes.

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Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, that's the candy cane noise.

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Every time you hear that noise, you'd think of candy canes.

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Candy canes! Candy canes! Candy canes were invented.

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Oh, a pint. A mint. I don't know.

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Okay, it's Christmas song.

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Nope, nope, nope. It's not the best. Nope. Nope. It's not the candy canes song.

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Nope. Nope. There it is. Candy canes. Candy canes. Candy canes.

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I think, alright. So, as I was saying last two years ago on Christmas, my brother died.

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Dingling, dong dong dong. His name was Dibi. Dibi and I wanted to die.

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Oh, I forget. He took the candy cane. Oh, dingling, ding dong. Candy canes.

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This is falling to pieces. I had, um, got to think.

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Alright. You know another thing I would like about Christmas.

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Is gummy. Gummy sweets. And uh.

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Oh, weather. Weather. Okay. In the weather tonight it'll be.

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Since the sleigh is going to be difficult to...

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Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, it's going to be chilly.

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Okay. Chili.

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Alright. Now it's time for segment on the show.

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I like to call trivia game time with candy.

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Not candy cane, just candy. Alright.

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We're going to give Dean a call to see what he knows the answer to the trivia question.

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Can you hear it ringing, dingling? Here he is.

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Ringy dingy. Let's see if he's out. Ringy ding ding dong.

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Ringy ding ding dong. Ringy dong. Ringy ding ding dong.

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Ringy ding ding dong. Ringy ding dong.

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He's not answering his phone. He needs an asking the question about Christmas.

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Nope. No answer.

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No candy cane for pain. Oh, shit.

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Maybe. Welcome to Verizon. No.

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Blimey. Alright. Let's try somebody else.

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Okay. Let's try Colleen. Let's see if Colleen will answer.

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Here we go. Oh, it sounds busy. Let's try it again.

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Jesus, take your other video. Here we go.

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Ringy ding ding dong. Ringy ding ding dong. Ringy ding ding dong. Ringy ding ding do.

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Hello Colleen. Yes. I want a little radio show and I have a question about Christmas.

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Colleen. What would you answer the question about Christmas? You're on the air.

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What about the radio show and Christmas? You have to answer the question about Christmas.

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Okay. Are you ready?

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Yeah. Alright. Who invented the candy cane?

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30 seconds.

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i don't know........it's that someone.....

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who is that tell me

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is he homosexual now?

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i think he knows

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o응 , he is dead

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who invented the candy cane ?

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i just think

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quickly

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who invented the candy cane bro?

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no no no i'm sorry i'm sorry

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sorry

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no it wasn't

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no it's a bruise

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what?

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i was a bit of a bad thing

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it was a bruise

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oh alright

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ok i don't know

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what you....

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oh boy

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bruise

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well no i'm sorry

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no it's not bruising

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but it's very thank you for playing

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um we'll send you a....

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i was i was giving away

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we're giving away candy cane

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you want candy cane?

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no wait

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no no no no

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what that's the prize?

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i don't know

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do you want to choose

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do you want to choose sandwich?

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we have two sandwiches

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i'll send you it in the mail

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i don't want to

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bring a tree sandwich to you

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oh god

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send you a bring it

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the name of this bio is the candy cane

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you can use it because of

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a lot of people

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got rid of all the stuff

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and stuff

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so send you a bring your tree sandwich

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do you want to do it?

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do you want to do it?

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do you want to do it?

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alright that was calling

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answering about Bruce Simonston

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uh not the inventor of the candy cane

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alright isn't it a song?

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oh god

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oh god

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okay that was

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Elvis Prittle with

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you're coming

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center claws

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ding dong ding dong

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alright

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let's try

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we have not gotten in and

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stuff for a trivia game

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happy time

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so let's give another call

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to

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computer store

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oh i've had too many candy cane

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to be a winning them

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and even paper

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had to get down

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correct

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where's the computer store?

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alright

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here we go

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we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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and we have a lot of candy cane

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that's interesting what's your least favorite thing about Christmas?

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It sounds like Bubby's got some friends. Okay back to the music in a moment.

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Um, Bubby, why don't you like me anymore? No?

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Yes? No?

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Oh! Did you hear that last one?

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That was the last one. All right.

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Um, I don't have anything else to say.

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Okay, this is a Christmas song about Santa Claus. Okay, okay.

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There we go with the trivia time game continued.

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Search for the winner of the game. Let's try calling D to gain.

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No. Yes! Okay, here we go. See if we can get an answer to our trivia game.

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Here we go. Ring-a-ding-ding-ding-dong. Ring-a-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. Hello, Dane! Hello, Dane! Hello, Dane! Hello, Dane! Yeah, we're having a trivia game on the radio. Would you like to answer the question?

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Yeah. Okay, are you ready? Yeah. Okay, who invented candy cane? Who invented candy cane?

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What's that candy cane? Who invented candy cane?

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Oh, it invented candy cane? Okay. It's candy cane.

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No, no, no, sorry. Would you like another guess? It's not the candy, ma'am. It's different.

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Okay. Would you like another guess? No. You could win a candy cane. Okay. Do you want to win a cheese sandwich?

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Yes. Okay. Just again. Give it to another try. Who invented candy cane?

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No, no. It's a fictional character. All right. He's not real. One more try. One more try. I'll give you another go.

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Who invented candy cane? Who is it? I'm...

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Five seconds. Who? No! What the hell is it? Indian, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They keep it playing. Thank you. Good boy.

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Oh another loser nobody knows who invented candy cane. Oh boy this is going to be a long program I believe.

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Ding ding ding dong that means it's time for another song. Ding ding ding dong time for a song. Ding ding ding dong time to play a song. Ding ding ding dong.

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Let's try one more. Let's see if somebody else knows what a candy cane. Let's call Ryan to see what he says.

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Thank you. Oh Ryan. Calling Ryan. See what he says. All right.

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Here he comes.

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Here we are. Ding ding dong.

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Hello yes Ryan you're on radio and I have a trivia game would you like to play?

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Sure. Okay. Who invented are you ready?

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Yes. Who invented candy cane?

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Robin B candy.

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No which it's not correct.

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No it's not right would you like another try?

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Thomas B candy cane.

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No you're off track it's not Thomas is wrong.

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We're giving away candy canes would you like to win one?

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You'll get one more chance to win a candy cane if you can't do for inventive candy canes.

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Who wants it? I'm sick of it.

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No yes.

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Help. Help.

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No I'm sorry you lose you lose no candy cane for you.

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All right well it's certainly going to be a long night and here's the oh wrong one.

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Ding ding ding dong time for a song. This time for real.

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*sad music*

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Bring it on! Here we are again!

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Blu-blu-blu-blu-blu!

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Blu-blu-blu!

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It's Christmas again! It's still Christmas!

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And we still don't have a winner for the Trevor again!

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*sad music*

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Buh-buh!

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Okay!

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So we're going to call...

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Em-let's see who we should call!

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Quite a kitty!

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We will call...

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...Dibby don't!

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This game we tried earlier, but she wouldn't have to phone!

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Let's see if it's here this time.

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See us gently know the answer to the crib is again.

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I hope so!

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Let's see if it's just the phone!

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Ding-a-ding-a-ding-dong!

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And we're moving you through the phone goalie!

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*sad music*

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Hey!

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Hello, Christine! I'm on the radio and I have a trivia game question for you.

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Are you all right?

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I have a trivia... oh... trivia...

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Hello!

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Hello!

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Hello, Christine!

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Would you like to play the trivia game?

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A trivia game?

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Yes, it's for the radio. I'm on the radio and I have a trivia game!

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Are you ready?

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Yeah!

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Who invented CandyKey?

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Oh...

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Okay, it's another one.

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Alright.

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Are you still on the phone? I don't know!

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No, you're going to have a guess so you just have to give up!

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Oh, it's been a really long day!

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It doesn't matter! Do you want to win?

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We're giving away CandyKeyes for the winner!

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Do you want to win a CandyKeyes or not?

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I don't want a CandyKeyes.

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We have G-Stan Witches.

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Okay.

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Okay, who invented the CandyKeyes?

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Um...

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Okay, the only thing going to mind was St. Nick.

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Santa Closed it, not invent CandyKeyes?

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No!

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No! Do you want another guess?

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No!

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Do you want one more guess?

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Give it to another try!

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Give it to one more try!

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Okay, um, we're now.

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No! Come on!

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Give it to real try!

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Oh, no!

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Do you want to win a G-Stan Witch or not?

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Uh, I just ate, actually.

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Ruining Christmas!

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Christine! Christine!

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I'm a stripper, too!

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Who invented CandyKeyes?

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I don't know!

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Christine!

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Listen! Listen to me!

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Christine, listen to me!

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Christine, what'd you say?

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Your speaker's on guard!

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Who invented CandyKeyes?

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I don't know!

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Who did it?

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Well then you don't win!

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Well, there's another loser.

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And here's another song!

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[Music]

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Alright!

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It's almost time for me to finish...

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Me Christmas!

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Ding, ding, ding, dance!

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I just don't care anymore, it's been...

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The thing is,

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if you do a Christmas show and it goes on too long,

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people will get bored!

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And they don't want people to get bored!

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What you want is people to be fun joy!

Speaker: 00:23:28

For Christmas!

Speaker: 00:23:30

Ding, ding, ding, dance!

Speaker: 00:23:33

And nobody want a CandyKeyes!

Speaker: 00:23:37

Nobody want a CandyKeyes!

Speaker: 00:23:40

See, it's disappointing to me that nobody knows who invented the CandyKeyes!

Speaker: 00:23:47

Who raised all of me friends?

Speaker: 00:23:51

Wolves raised me friends!

Speaker: 00:23:55

Did Jews raise me friends?

Speaker: 00:23:59

Because if Jews raised me friends,

Speaker: 00:24:01

then it makes sense that they wouldn't know who invented the CandyKeyes!

Speaker: 00:24:05

Because Jews don't eat CandyKeyes!

Speaker: 00:24:08

I know that for sure!

Speaker: 00:24:11

Jews eat bagels and set in salmon, I think!

Speaker: 00:24:17

But I don't know what they eat on Christmas!

Speaker: 00:24:19

They don't think it matters what they eat on Christmas!

Speaker: 00:24:21

Because they don't celebrate Christmas!

Speaker: 00:24:23

Ding, ding, ding, dong!

Speaker: 00:24:27

In other news,

Speaker: 00:24:31

Christmas is almost here!

Speaker: 00:24:33

And you know what my favourite thing about Christmas is?

Speaker: 00:24:37

Is the Christmas cards!

Speaker: 00:24:40

Doesn't all like better than getting a big old Christmas card!

Speaker: 00:24:45

And with a picture of people who sent it in a long little note

Speaker: 00:24:57

that says what the people have been doing all year!

Speaker: 00:25:01

Because you know what?

Speaker: 00:25:03

I don't give a shit what you do!

Speaker: 00:25:06

You know what? My fucking brother died!

Speaker: 00:25:09

You know, two years ago, and nobody seems to give a shit!

Speaker: 00:25:13

You know, everybody seems to be like hello!

Speaker: 00:25:15

Last year I went skiing!

Speaker: 00:25:17

La la la!

Speaker: 00:25:19

You know what I did this last year?

Speaker: 00:25:21

I sat around thinking about me dead brother!

Speaker: 00:25:23

How you like that?

Speaker: 00:25:25

What would you think about sending a card out with a picture of me dead brother?

Speaker: 00:25:29

And a big word in the back says, "Oh I did think about me dead brother!"

Speaker: 00:25:33

Would you like that?

Speaker: 00:25:35

I didn't think so!

Speaker: 00:25:37

Alright!

Speaker: 00:25:39

Well,

Speaker: 00:25:41

you would Christmas story!

Speaker: 00:25:43

Alright!

Speaker: 00:25:45

One year on Christmas in 2004,

Speaker: 00:25:49

it was Christmas morning!

Speaker: 00:25:51

I woke up and I went downstairs,

Speaker: 00:25:53

and I went into the kitchen,

Speaker: 00:25:55

and I smelled something funny!

Speaker: 00:25:57

And you know what that funny smell was?

Speaker: 00:25:59

It was me brother's blood and vomit all over the floor!

Speaker: 00:26:03

And I looked down,

Speaker: 00:26:05

and it was a Christmas miracle!

Speaker: 00:26:07

My brother had blown his brains out all over the floor!

Speaker: 00:26:11

Oh! I said to myself,

Speaker: 00:26:13

"Who?"

Speaker: 00:26:15

And he was dead!

Speaker: 00:26:19

And then we didn't open our presents!

Speaker: 00:26:23

Although I got my brother a hanky chief!

Speaker: 00:26:29

But I never gave it to him because he was dead!

Speaker: 00:26:33

But I never gave it to him because he killed himself!

Speaker: 00:26:37

Oh!

Speaker: 00:26:39

Why?

Speaker: 00:26:41

Didn't he ring the horn?

Speaker: 00:26:43

Okay!

Speaker: 00:26:45

So,

Speaker: 00:26:47

to continue the story,

Speaker: 00:26:49

we took my brother to the

Speaker: 00:26:51

creamer's morgue,

Speaker: 00:26:53

and he buried him!

Speaker: 00:26:55

Alright!

Speaker: 00:26:57

Merry Christmas!

Speaker: 00:27:01

[Music]

Speaker: 00:27:09

Oh!

Speaker: 00:27:11

My day!

Speaker: 00:27:13

Did you think?

Speaker: 00:27:15

No more than that down stuff!

Speaker: 00:27:17

We got to finish my Christmas show!

Speaker: 00:27:19

And to finish my Christmas show,

Speaker: 00:27:21

we got to find somebody who knows who invented candy cane!

Speaker: 00:27:27

[Music]

Speaker: 00:27:29

Alright! Let's call Michael in New York City!

Speaker: 00:27:35

See a pinnows who invented candy cane!

Speaker: 00:27:39

Or if you'll answer his ear!

Speaker: 00:27:41

Because normally, he doesn't have to answer his phone!

Speaker: 00:27:43

Let's see if he answers his phone!

Speaker: 00:27:47

Let's make this place for Christmas miracle!

Speaker: 00:27:51

Ding ding dong!

Speaker: 00:27:53

[Music]

Speaker: 00:27:55

Ding ding dong!

Speaker: 00:27:57

Come on! That's your phone!

Speaker: 00:27:59

[Music]

Speaker: 00:28:01

Come on!

Speaker: 00:28:03

Oh!

Speaker: 00:28:05

Nope!

Speaker: 00:28:07

[Music]

Speaker: 00:28:09

Ding ding dong!

Speaker: 00:28:11

No, I mean...

Speaker: 00:28:13

[Music]

Speaker: 00:28:15

No!

Speaker: 00:28:17

Somebody doesn't want to win a candy cane!

Speaker: 00:28:19

[Music]

Speaker: 00:28:21

No! Somebody doesn't want to win a candy cane!

Speaker: 00:28:23

Let's try somebody else!

Speaker: 00:28:25

I'll be going to cold!

Speaker: 00:28:27

Find it!

Speaker: 00:28:29

Out! Let's see!

Speaker: 00:28:31

[Music]

Speaker: 00:28:33

Already called him!

Speaker: 00:28:35

And they won't answer the phone!

Speaker: 00:28:37

New!

Speaker: 00:28:39

Let's see here!

Speaker: 00:28:41

Nope! Nope!

Speaker: 00:28:43

[Music]

Speaker: 00:28:45

Let's try! Let's try Joanna!

Speaker: 00:28:47

Let's see if she answers his phone!

Speaker: 00:28:49

She normally doesn't have to answer his phone!

Speaker: 00:28:51

Ding ding dong!

Speaker: 00:28:53

This is a phone! Hello!

Speaker: 00:28:55

Oh! No!

Speaker: 00:28:57

[Music]

Speaker: 00:28:59

Ding ding dong!

Speaker: 00:29:01

[Music]

Speaker: 00:29:03

[Music]

Speaker: 00:29:05

[Sigh]

Speaker: 00:29:07

Christ!

Speaker: 00:29:09

Get in tired of this here!

Speaker: 00:29:11

Just as you are!

Speaker: 00:29:13

I mean, we're all getting tired of you!

Speaker: 00:29:15

Open answer their phone!

Speaker: 00:29:17

[Music]

Speaker: 00:29:19

You have read!

Speaker: 00:29:21

Now fucking hell!

Speaker: 00:29:23

Alright, who are we going to try now?

Speaker: 00:29:25

Let's see here!

Speaker: 00:29:27

I'm running out of friends!

Speaker: 00:29:31

Oh, let's try Sarah!

Speaker: 00:29:33

Let's try Sarah's phone!

Speaker: 00:29:35

Oh, I'll try her cellphone hit!

Speaker: 00:29:37

Errrr...

Speaker: 00:29:39

Oh, let's try Kirsten!

Speaker: 00:29:41

[Music]

Speaker: 00:29:43

Kirsten, see if she answers her phone!

Speaker: 00:29:45

Alright, here we go!

Speaker: 00:29:47

It's very exciting! I think we all understand the excitement going on there!

Speaker: 00:29:51

Yeah! Alright, here we go!

Speaker: 00:29:53

[Music]

Speaker: 00:29:55

Ding ding ding dong!

Speaker: 00:29:57

Alright!

Speaker: 00:29:59

[Music]

Speaker: 00:30:01

You can feel the tension, can't you?

Speaker: 00:30:03

[Music]

Speaker: 00:30:05

[Music]

Speaker: 00:30:07

Oh, I'm getting bored!

Speaker: 00:30:09

[Music]

Speaker: 00:30:11

[Music]

Speaker: 00:30:15

Christ almighty, there's nobody home!

Speaker: 00:30:17

It's fucking Christmas!

Speaker: 00:30:19

It's bloody Christmas and nobody's answering their fucking phone!

Speaker: 00:30:23

[Music]

Speaker: 00:30:25

God damn it! It's fucking Christmas and nobody finds their fucking phone!

Speaker: 00:30:29

Alright, we're going Ryan!

Speaker: 00:30:31

Let her yaistick!

Speaker: 00:30:33

Here we go!

Speaker: 00:30:35

See if he answered his fucking phone!

Speaker: 00:30:37

[Music]

Speaker: 00:30:39

No, nobody, a teacher, a teacher!

Speaker: 00:30:41

And nobody will have to taste the phone!

Speaker: 00:30:43

[Music]

Speaker: 00:30:47

Bloody hell, fucking ridiculous!

Speaker: 00:30:51

[Music]

Speaker: 00:30:53

Hey, Jeff!

Speaker: 00:30:55

Hello Ryan, it's not Jef! It's Nigel!

Speaker: 00:30:57

We're calling with the Christmas, uh, Christmas trivia game!

Speaker: 00:30:59

Would you like to play?

Speaker: 00:31:01

Sure!

Speaker: 00:31:03

Alright, are you ready?

Speaker: 00:31:05

Yes!

Speaker: 00:31:07

It's a Christmas trivia game!

Speaker: 00:31:09

You could win something!

Speaker: 00:31:11

Okay!

Speaker: 00:31:13

Are you ready to play?

Speaker: 00:31:15

I'm ready!

Speaker: 00:31:17

Alright, who invented the candy cane?

Speaker: 00:31:19

[Music]

Speaker: 00:31:21

[Music]

Speaker: 00:31:23

Really want to go?

Speaker: 00:31:25

No, no, no! You're the second person to guess that!

Speaker: 00:31:27

And it's not correct!

Speaker: 00:31:29

Would you like another try?

Speaker: 00:31:31

[Music]

Speaker: 00:31:33

Yes!

Speaker: 00:31:35

I can try!

Speaker: 00:31:37

Alright, who invented the candy cane?

Speaker: 00:31:41

[Music]

Speaker: 00:31:43

Oh!

Speaker: 00:31:45

[Music]

Speaker: 00:31:47

Come on!

Speaker: 00:31:49

Really want to go?

Speaker: 00:31:51

No, you just...

Speaker: 00:31:53

Ryan, do you want to win a candy cane?

Speaker: 00:31:55

We're giving away candy canes!

Speaker: 00:31:57

You're not going to win what was that attitude?

Speaker: 00:31:59

[Music]

Speaker: 00:32:01

No, I don't want one!

Speaker: 00:32:03

sandwich. Yep. I have to get you admitted to that, too. No, you have sent a guess to

Speaker: 00:32:09

Inventors to candy cane! I'll give you one more try. I'll give you one more guess. This is

Speaker: 00:32:19

the last one. Are you ready? Yeah. Who invented the Candy Cane! No you-- Oh, damn

Speaker: 00:32:31

it. No! Do you really think that's who invented it? Are you just being silly? I don't know who invented

Speaker: 00:32:38

it. Why didn't you say so at the beginning instead of wasting our time?

Speaker: 00:32:44

Blind me. There's no people. Nobody knows who invented anything. I've had it. Blind me.

Speaker: 00:32:57

People are just ruining Christmas for me. And I don't particularly care for the attitude

Speaker: 00:33:04

of people who would-- The show is over. All right? Nobody guessed the right answer. And I'm

Speaker: 00:33:11

not good to tell you who it is either. I'm not good to tell you. Because you know, you'll

Speaker: 00:33:16

have to fucking look it up and learn next year, and then you maybe get to try it. That's

Speaker: 00:33:20

if-- Perhaps if my question is the same. But maybe I won't ask who invented the candy

Speaker: 00:33:25

cane next year. Maybe you'll all be fucked. Maybe you'll all be a fucking shit creed with no

Speaker: 00:33:30

fucking paddle. And nobody will have a fucking candy cane or a cheese God damn sandwich. And I'm

Speaker: 00:33:35

gonna fucking eat them all myself. Merry fucking Christmas to all of your fuckers.

Speaker: 00:33:42

And to all a good night. For the record, there is no evidence of a single known inventor

Speaker: 00:33:53

of candy canes. Don't tell Feffrey. Also, I really don't like candy canes. But Feffrey

Speaker: 00:34:02

does. And that's all that matters. If you have any thoughts or questions or complaints

Speaker: 00:34:08

about this episode, please email me at onefjefpod@gmail.com. You can also email Feffrey at that email

Speaker: 00:34:16

address. Just mention candy canes in the subject line.

Speaker: 00:34:21

If you like the social media, you can follow the podcast on Instagram or Facebook @onefjefpod

Speaker: 00:34:27

and on a bunch of other platforms which you can find in the show notes. It would seem

Speaker: 00:34:33

somewhat bizarre to end this episode with a roomy poem. So I'll just say that I appreciate

Speaker: 00:34:40

you tolerating my odd holiday diversion this week.

Speaker: 00:34:45

And Feffrey does too. Isn't that right, Feffrey? Candy canes! I'll see you next week.

Speaker: 00:35:01

Very good, Jeffrey!