Episode 48

Dumb Gringo

An earthquake alarm went off, Mexico City is slowly disappearing into the earth, and I'm still impressed I haven't fallen on the sidewalk yet. Episode 48 — the penultimate episode of onefjef season one — short, a little chaotic, what you'd expect, hopefully what you'll like.

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You can also call the podcast and leave a voicemail at 1-669-241-5882 and I will probably play it on the air.

Thank you for listening, please do it again, but not during an earthquake.

Onefjef is produced, edited & hosted by Jef Taylor.

Transcript
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Oh, there it is.

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Hello.

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Wow.

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That was exciting, huh?

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This is episode 48 of onefjef.

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48 is best known as the number of the lower 48 US states, but it also

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quietly dominates everyday life because it divides so cleanly, which

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is why manufacturers love using it in packaging, shipping, and bulk quantities.

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In numerology, 48 is often associated with discipline, material success, and

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building stability through persistence, though, depending on who you ask,

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it That either sounds profound or exactly like something printed on the

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wall of a mid level corporate office.

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I was planning to start season two with this episode but I'm two

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episodes away from episode 50.

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50 feels like a better delineator than 48 or 49.

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So season two of one F Jeff will officially begin with the 50th episode

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in two weeks, and my guest for that 50th episode will be my dear friend Chris

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Casey, who you might remember from episode two or episode 25, or other episodes.

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Which will go unmentioned at this point.

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He was also the winner of the email, the podcast contest last

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year, which was an exciting moment for this podcast and for him.

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And he's still reveling in that joy and the glory from that victory.

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I think it's safe to say that his life.

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Has been forever changed by this podcast and he's coming on the podcast

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for the 50th episode to talk about the ways in which it's changed his

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life and about the new season and so forth, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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If you were expecting an interview this week, I apologize.

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I apologize if you were expecting this episode to come out on Wednesday.

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You know, the thing about starting a new life in a different

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country is that it's hard.

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Starting a new life anywhere is hard.

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Starting a new life in a different country where you don't really

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speak the language is hard.

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It's still hard to eat, you know, and it's frustrating because like I

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can play the dumb gringo in a lot of situations But going into like a market

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and like haggling about food prices and stuff that to me feels like that's

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out of my comfort zone way out and which again I should do it, but It's

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been difficult and like even figuring out What I can really cook in the tiny

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kitchen or what kind of foods I can eat.

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It's just been hard.

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And I've been spending a lot of money on food because I haven't

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made food in the apartment.

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I've made some, I make breakfast and lunch, but dinners are hard

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and it's just the awkward feeling.

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You know, I don't like it.

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If I had somebody here with me, I often think like if I came, I moved here with

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a partner or something or with a friend, I think it'd be a totally different

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experience because having somebody like a partner in crime makes it a lot easier.

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They deflect, right?

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A little bit.

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But doing it on your own, you know, it's a whole different level of, uh, of couraging

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and getting out of your comfort zone.

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And, uh, I mean, I'm doing it, but I'm just saying, fucking hard.

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Speaking of hard, I guess, um, there was an earthquake this

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week, and that was exciting.

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A lot of earthquakes come in here through the Mexico City area, Mexico area, so

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much so that they have an alert system that's pretty advanced, it seems like.

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Because they usually come in from the west coast near, like, Oaxaca

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is where a lot of the earthquakes.

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And it takes like, 30 or 45 seconds for the earthquake to get from Oaxaca to here.

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So they have a leeway, there's a lead time.

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So these alarms will go off whenever there's an earthquake on the west

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coast, just in case it comes here.

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But, it didn't.

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There was no earthquake.

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I didn't feel anything anyway, but the alarms were terrifying.

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My phone alarms started going crazy, and then outside the alarms went crazy,

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and I was like, should I go outside now?

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I didn't, I didn't say this.

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I kind of said it in my head to myself, and then I saw everybody out

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there, so I was like, oh, I should probably go out there just in case.

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But in this neighborhood, there's no dots with arrows pointed at them, which

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is a very uniquely Mexico City thing.

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I've never seen this anywhere else.

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You know, they've had their share of earthquakes here, of course, and it's

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no joke, but you're walking around a lot of the neighborhoods and you'll see

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this, like, a big dot with four arrows pointed at it, and that's where you're

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supposed to go if there's an earthquake.

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But, I mean, the dot's only big enough for a handful of people, so

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you're gonna need overflow dots.

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Right?

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Do people think that the dot is really the safe place to be?

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Because I've seen some of these dots with four arrows around them in places

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that I would think wouldn't possibly be safe in an earthquake, like practically

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underneath overhangs and so forth.

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Like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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Uh, but we have none in this neighborhood, so nobody knew where

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to go, so I walked out there.

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People were looking at the sky for some reason, and I thought,

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is this a different alarm?

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Is there an alien coming?

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Because why is everybody looking?

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I looked at the sky at a certain point.

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You know, you hate when they do that.

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You stare at something and then you look, too.

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There was nothing to see.

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It was just the sky.

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Perhaps a cloud or two.

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Anyway, I'm alive.

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The earthquake didn't come.

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At least, I didn't feel it.

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And, uh, all is well.

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Now I know what the phone sounds when there's an earthquake.

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And I heard it twice this week, because two days after the earthquake actual,

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they'd had an earthquake test at 11 a. m., which sounds I don't know.

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Seems like overkill.

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Nobody went outside.

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It wasn't I didn't know if I was supposed to, but I'm not saying

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I want there to be an earthquake.

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I really am not, for the record.

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I am saying, though, that a small earthquake, with no loss

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of life, would be exciting.

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That's all.

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Maybe I'll play the sound of the siren.

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I've got it recorded.

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I'll play that for you.

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Right here.

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So there's supposed to be a fire alarm test in a few minutes here.

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It's now 1059?

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1058? And I'm just recording to see if I can capture the magical moment on audio.

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1059. All right, very exciting.

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Edge of my seat.

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Edge of your seat?

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Edge of my seat for sure.

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Actually, I'm kind of slouched in my couch right now, so I'm

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not really at the edge of it.

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Oh, there it is.

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Hello.

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Alerta sismica.

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Alerta sismica.

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Alerta sismica.

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Alright, alright, shut up.

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That was exciting, huh?

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The big article for this week for the mainstream media, mostly in the

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United States, but all over the world, really, about Mexico is that Mexico

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City is sinking into the ground so quickly it can be seen from space.

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I saw this article so many places.

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My mother sent me this article.

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And again, it's truly surprising because honestly the only news and

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believe me I've tried to find news about Mexico City in the Western media,

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but the only stories they seem to really like to report on are I mean

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cartels, of course Any kind of violence in general like the shooting at the

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pyramids recently immigrants, of course immigrants immigrants immigrants and then

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Sinking into the ground, Mexico City.

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Or water shortages, Mexico City.

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It's always negative, which good, because it's true.

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It's not good here.

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Nobody likes it.

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Everybody's here against their will.

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So, do not come.

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Haha, it's a joke everybody makes here.

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Says, tells people, don't say it's good.

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Anyway, what else?

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As this is the wrapping up of season one, this episode, and the next,

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the next episode, and I'm saying it here so that I will do it, right?

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I am going to, uh, have like a season one A look back, you know, like I will

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remember you, you know, I mean that kind of thing I won't be able to use

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that song because I will get taken down from Spotify or something, but it'll be

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in my mind And hopefully your mind too But I'll be playing some highlights of

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the first 46 7 episodes of this podcast and no tears, no tears at all from

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anybody because we are OneFjefPodcast.

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com We're now going into season two.

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And if there were tears, you know, save them for like a phone call, call

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the podcast and cry on the phone.

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That phone number is in the show notes.

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I cannot remember it to save my life.

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669 241 5882. I think that's it.

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669 241 5882. Somebody call 669 241 5882, country code one, and let

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me know if it, if it's the number.

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Just leave a message, because if I get it right, I don't need it anymore.

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669 241 5882. How about that, brain?

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Good job.

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When you least expect it, that old brain just

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Anyway, so yeah, compilation of season 1 highlights coming, and then

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Chris Casey episode 50, beginning of season 2, and then puppies and

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rainbows, and lollipops, and gumdrops.

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So many gumdrops.

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So many gumdrops.

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Uh, several people messaged me, Oh, is Cinco de Mayo fun there?

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Do they do things?

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Do they have No, no, no.

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They don't really do that.

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Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

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Uh, what an episode.

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I'm glad there's another episode after this one in Season 1, because I don't

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want Season 1 to go out with this episode.

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Nobody does.

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Although maybe it's the perfect way for it to go out.

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But it doesn't matter, because it's not going out that way.

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What if episode 49 disappears, Jef?

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What?

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What if episode 49 disappears?

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What do you mean disappears?

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Like what if it, you know, just like goes missing?

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I don't think that's gonna happen.

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Okay, um, I think that's all for me for now.

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I'll try to throw some other stuff in here to make this a little

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bit more of a chunky episode.

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If you know what I mean, not chunky as in like, Poop chunks.

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Chunky isn't like content, right?

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You understood.

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You didn't need me to say poop, but I did anyway.

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And more meaty episodes, or more smooth, non chunky episodes will be coming out

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in the next week, two, three, four.

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I've got interviews already recorded, so don't you go a worryin about that thing,

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because everything's gonna be all right.

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Patreon subscribers, I love you.

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If you're not a Patreon subscriber, I love you anyway.

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But I will love you more if you do go to patreon.

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com slash onefjef and sign up for as little as five dollars a month.

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Extra content, early episodes sometimes, other stuff yet to be

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determined, but absolutely it's going to be the place to be.

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You don't want to be one of the proletariat, you want

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to be one of the tariots.

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Or the anti proletariats.

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Patreon.

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com slash onefjef.

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Go there now.

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Do that thing.

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Do it all.

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Do it.

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Bing.

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Oh, no, I was about to ask you something, but I decided against it because it

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would go down a whole nother rabbit hole and I don't feel like that's necessary.

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Mexico City is sinking into the ground, although I haven't

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I wish you could see it visibly, because it's about a foot a year in some places,

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I think, which is a significant amount for any area of land to drop in one year.

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Like, a foot?

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It might even be more than that, I don't know.

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Everybody says Mexico City is this like remarkable walking

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city and I think it's true.

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I think it is.

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I've said this many times myself It's a great walking city many parts of it are

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anyway, but it's also not a great walking city It's also a dangerous walking city

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combined with the fact that you don't need to get there You know, prove that

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you can drive to get a driver's license.

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There's also not really many crosswalks.

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I mean there's some but not very many, and the ones that there are are kind of

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confusing and you're always having to like look for where the crosswalk is.

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But usually the crosswalk is just you looking at the traffic light

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to see if it's green or red.

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So you know whether to cross or not.

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And sometimes that's not easy.

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It's, it's sketchy.

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And there's some intersections here that are truly like unhinged, several

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lanes of traffic merging into one while people are trying to cross the street.

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It's, it's nuts.

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And then the sidewalks are legitimate, like, but I understand.

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I'm not judging because it's very hard to maintain sidewalk

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smoothness when your city is sinking at rates of up to a foot a year.

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Like your sidewalks are going to get messed up, just the way it is.

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But they are perilous, and I'm still impressed with myself.

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Knock on wood that I have not tripped or fallen on the sidewalk yet.

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Not yet.

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I never will.

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I never will.

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Almost.

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Very close.

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Many times.

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But, uh, using my highly attuned balance, thanks to years of yoga

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practice, I was able to right myself.

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And not.

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I have a tumble under the Mexico City streets.

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Not today, my friends.

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No tumble today.

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Tumble tomorrow, maybe, but not tumble today.

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No tumble today.

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All right, like, subscribe, rate, and review the podcast.

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Thank you all for listening.

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I, I don't know.

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I'm convinced there's something interesting about the way

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that I talk about this crap.

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Like that's what the podcast is really is me just like being like,

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oh, I know that I'm good at that that I can talk and into a microphone

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or interview people or whatever.

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I know that I'm good at that.

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But, I mean, am I?

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I don't even know.

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I'm not asking you for praise.

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Yes, I am.

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I'm asking you for praise.

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I'm absolutely asking for praise.

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669 241 5882. Ah, I remember the phone number.

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I hope that's the right one.

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I really do.

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If it's not, it's going to be bad for, you know, Farmer John.

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God damn it, this isn't onefjef the podcast.

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I told you, hooligans.

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Getting my shotgun.

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All right, uh, enough of this tomfoolery.

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Episode 48.

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Wow, how about that?

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Good job, Jef Taylor.

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Good job, buddy.

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I hope you're all doing extremely well, and if you're not doing well, that

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you're at least accepting that part of life is not doing well sometimes,

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but you'll do well again soon enough.

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I promise.

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And I'll leave you With a quote from Ovid, big fan of Ovid, I think

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his first name was Bob, Bob Ovid, Jim, Jim Ovid, Jimmy, Jimmy Ovid.

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Everything changes, nothing is lost.

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I'll see you next week.

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Very good, Jeffrey.

About the Podcast

Show artwork for onefjef
onefjef
Expat life in Mexico City: interviews and solo dispatches about language, culture, and what it really feels like to leave your life behind and move to CDMX.

About your host

Profile picture for Jef Taylor

Jef Taylor

Jef Taylor is an editor, filmmaker, and reluctant grown-up. He hosts onefjef, where he talks to people (and sometimes himself) about work, purpose, and the strange ways life unfolds. Before podcasting, he spent years shaping other people’s stories—now he’s telling his own.