Episode 41
Ego Death, Young Life & Trying Not to Get Laid with Jack Hopkins
Jack Hopkins (aka Jack Hoppy) is a bartender, filmmaker, and musician from Columbus, Ohio. We talk about growing up small and non-athletic in the suburbs, learning about life from movies, getting love-bombed by a Christian youth group, successfully avoiding sex for most of high school, a mushroom trip that spiraled into months of nihilism and two suicide attempts, and the offhand comment from a stranger at 3 a.m. in a New York City pizza shop that pulled him out of it. Also: ketamine and a box of childhood action figures, why Columbus isn’t real, and why humping the Empire State Building is not okay.
Content warning: This episode includes extensive talk about sex and drugs, and quite a bit of swearing, so probably don't listen with your kids.
You can and should watch Jack's films, listen to his music, and look at some of his art here: https://linktr.ee/Jackhoppy
Please show some support for the podcast and get access to some extra content by subscribing to the Patreon page: http://www.patreon.com/onefjef
Instagram: @onefjefpod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onefjefpod
TikTok: @onefjefpodcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@onefjef
Email: onefjefpod@gmail.com
You can also call the podcast and leave a voicemail at 1-669-241-5882 and I will probably play it on the air.
Thank you for listening, please do it again, but don't scare the kids.
Onefjef is produced, edited & hosted by Jef Taylor.
Transcript
I'm so sick of it, what we're
Speaker:doing here.
Speaker:I mean, I'm enjoying speaking,
Speaker:but I don't want to hear it.
Speaker:He literally dismisses the
Speaker:podcast as he speaks on one.
Speaker:We've entered the, yeah.
Speaker:Somebody would like this shit.
Speaker:This is episode 41 of onefjef.
Speaker:41 is the number just past the
Speaker:ordeal.
Speaker:Across mystical traditions, 40
Speaker:is the sacred threshold,
Speaker:the flood, the desert, the fast
Speaker:,
Speaker:which makes 41 the first breath
Speaker:on the other side.
Speaker:The I Ching's 41st hexagram,
Speaker:Sun, captures this perfectly.
Speaker:Voluntary sacrifice, giving
Speaker:something up as an act of trust
Speaker:rather than loss.
Speaker:In Pythagorean terms, the
Speaker:four and the one are intention.
Speaker:Structure versus the solitary
Speaker:will.
Speaker:The person who has built
Speaker:something solid,
Speaker:but hasn't yet made peace with
Speaker:being alone inside it.
Speaker:Hello, my friends.
Speaker:Hello once again.
Speaker:How about this?
Speaker:We're back on a regular
Speaker:schedule, huh?
Speaker:Huh?
Speaker:Anybody?
Speaker:I'm proud of myself.
Speaker:I hope that you're proud of me
Speaker:too.
Speaker:I said once I am in Mexico City
Speaker:and settled down a bit,
Speaker:we will get back to a regular
Speaker:schedule for this podcast.
Speaker:And here we are.
Speaker:So, go me.
Speaker:Go me.
Speaker:And as also promised, I am
Speaker:releasing an interview this
Speaker:week.
Speaker:And that interview is with Jack
Speaker:Hopkins.
Speaker:Jack Hopkins, also known as
Speaker:Jack Hoppy, is a filmmaker,
Speaker:writer, musician and visual
Speaker:artist.
Speaker:He co-wrote and acted in the
Speaker:short film According to Plan
Speaker:and releases self-produced
Speaker:music,
Speaker:including Squalor and Couch
Speaker:Surfing.
Speaker:His visual art and broader work
Speaker:reflected DIY self-direct
Speaker:approach focused on
Speaker:experimentation and personal
Speaker:expression.
Speaker:I recorded this conversation
Speaker:almost a year ago, before I
Speaker:even started making this
Speaker:podcast.
Speaker:I used a few clips of it in the
Speaker:first episode, but I didn't
Speaker:release the entire thing
Speaker:because, as you'll hear,
Speaker:Jack and I got progressively
Speaker:more intoxicated as the
Speaker:interview progressed.
Speaker:And we ended up recording for
Speaker:almost three hours, much of
Speaker:which was fairly incoherent.
Speaker:But I live in Mexico City now,
Speaker:and last week I went back and
Speaker:listened to what we'd recorded.
Speaker:And I discovered that it was
Speaker:actually more entertaining and
Speaker:less incoherent than I
Speaker:remembered.
Speaker:And I cut it down to an hour,
Speaker:which helped.
Speaker:I do need to include a
Speaker:disclaimer, though.
Speaker:If this episode had a rating,
Speaker:it would be a solid R.
Speaker:There's quite a bit of swearing
Speaker:and talk about drugs and sex
Speaker:and so forth and so on.
Speaker:So probably don't listen with
Speaker:your kids or with yourself if
Speaker:you don't like listening to ab
Speaker:ject subject matter.
Speaker:Mom, you've been warned.
Speaker:I met Jack Hopkins a few years
Speaker:ago outside the Summit Music
Speaker:Hall in Columbus, Ohio.
Speaker:The film group that we were
Speaker:both in was having a gathering,
Speaker:but there was a band playing,
Speaker:so nobody could talk inside, so
Speaker:people just started going
Speaker:outside.
Speaker:I was just standing outside
Speaker:nursing a drink.
Speaker:And this young, interesting-
Speaker:looking dude walks out of the
Speaker:bar, and we just start talking.
Speaker:And, yeah, there was just like
Speaker:an immediate connection with me
Speaker:and Jack.
Speaker:It's like we knew each other
Speaker:before.
Speaker:It's like we were just picking
Speaker:up a conversation we'd started
Speaker:long ago.
Speaker:And we've been friends ever
Speaker:since.
Speaker:Jack's about half my age.
Speaker:He's about 26 right now, I
Speaker:think.
Speaker:And he invited me to a party at
Speaker:his house, I don't know, six,
Speaker:seven months ago.
Speaker:And a lot of people at the
Speaker:party thought that I was Jack's
Speaker:dad, which I wasn't necessarily
Speaker:offended by, but I was also
Speaker:offended by.
Speaker:Anyway, now that I am in Mexico
Speaker:, I miss my friend Jack.
Speaker:I hope he comes to visit.
Speaker:And I hope you enjoy listening
Speaker:to this conversation with him
Speaker:as much as we clearly enjoyed
Speaker:having it.
Speaker:Thank you for listening.
Speaker:Thank you for being here.
Speaker:Here's Jack Hopkins criticizing
Speaker:the sturdiness of the table I
Speaker:had in my podcasting studio in
Speaker:Columbus, Ohio.
Speaker:Dude, this table is fucking wob
Speaker:bly.
Speaker:It's not that bad.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Well, we've got a guest and we
Speaker:'re already complaining about
Speaker:the table.
Speaker:Interesting.
Speaker:Sorry.
Speaker:Yeah, it's a beautiful table.
Speaker:So here we are.
Speaker:Jack, Jack Hopkins.
Speaker:They call me Hoppy, actually.
Speaker:You don't call me Hoppy, but my
Speaker:friends call me Hoppy.
Speaker:No, I refuse to call you Hoppy.
Speaker:You don't have to.
Speaker:Sorry.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:How long have people been
Speaker:calling you Hoppy?
Speaker:That's like four years.
Speaker:No, I didn't grow up with it.
Speaker:Jack Hoppy.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Does your girlfriend call you
Speaker:Hoppy?
Speaker:No, she doesn't.
Speaker:That's good.
Speaker:She did originally and I
Speaker:actually had to say, please don
Speaker:'t do that.
Speaker:You can't have that.
Speaker:I don't like that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:No, it's not sexy.
Speaker:And then when she refers to me,
Speaker:to other people, she's like,
Speaker:yeah, Hoppy's over there.
Speaker:I'm like, what are you doing,
Speaker:man?
Speaker:I don't like it.
Speaker:You got any nicknames?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:Me?
Speaker:Tweety?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:Big Dick.
Speaker:Masked huge dick.
Speaker:Big giant dick.
Speaker:On the street, I've heard that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:They're like, where's Big Dick
Speaker:at?
Speaker:I'm like, oh, Jack?
Speaker:Yeah, he's over there.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker:No, no real nicknames to speak
Speaker:of.
Speaker:No, I remember having
Speaker:girlfriends back in the day.
Speaker:And like one girlfriend, Laura,
Speaker:she wanted to like come up with
Speaker:nicknames for each other.
Speaker:And the one she came up for me
Speaker:was Bunny.
Speaker:And I was like, no, absolutely
Speaker:not.
Speaker:Similar to Hoppy.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Bunny is a little too cute.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:No kidding.
Speaker:So we never came up with nickn
Speaker:ames and then she cheated on me.
Speaker:Hey.
Speaker:Oh, God.
Speaker:So that's a red flag.
Speaker:Maybe if we came up with nickn
Speaker:ames, then maybe she wouldn't
Speaker:have cheated on me.
Speaker:If it was a good nickname, it
Speaker:would have been a green flag.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Although I don't know that
Speaker:there'd be-
Speaker:Spike.
Speaker:Spike, I don't think I don't
Speaker:know if it was Spike either.
Speaker:Or Danger.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Something like that.
Speaker:So like growing up, what was
Speaker:your life like?
Speaker:Tell me like high school.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So I mean like I like sports.
Speaker:I've always liked sports.
Speaker:But the second that a grown man
Speaker:started to get mad at me, a
Speaker:seven-year-old for not doing
Speaker:it right, I immediately was
Speaker:like, no, I don't want to do
Speaker:this anymore.
Speaker:Old people ruin sports.
Speaker:I mean, why did they care that
Speaker:much?
Speaker:Just let them play.
Speaker:Just let them play.
Speaker:Living vicariously through a
Speaker:seven-year-old.
Speaker:And at the time, I thought it
Speaker:was weird.
Speaker:And now I'm looking back on it
Speaker:and I still, I'm like, I was
Speaker:right.
Speaker:I was fucking right.
Speaker:It's worse now than it was then
Speaker:probably.
Speaker:It was weird.
Speaker:What sport was this?
Speaker:I tried them all.
Speaker:I tried them all.
Speaker:I liked baseball the most
Speaker:because I have hand-eye
Speaker:coordination.
Speaker:I'm not athletic.
Speaker:I like to separate the two.
Speaker:I don't want to run for longer
Speaker:than, you know, a couple
Speaker:minutes at a time.
Speaker:Unless you're being chased,
Speaker:right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I don't want to do that either.
Speaker:No, but I just, you know, I
Speaker:wasn't athletic and everybody
Speaker:else was athletic.
Speaker:It's Dublin, Ohio.
Speaker:It is a fucking green suburb.
Speaker:When I talk about it like this,
Speaker:I feel like I, yeah, the angsty
Speaker:, you know, like, I got
Speaker:to get out of this town, man.
Speaker:They don't believe in me.
Speaker:But that is how I.
Speaker:You got out of Dublin.
Speaker:That's how I felt though.
Speaker:And I remember my big brother
Speaker:was, you know, he was athletic
Speaker:effortlessly and he wouldn't
Speaker:study and he would get fucked
Speaker:up all the time.
Speaker:He just gets straight A's.
Speaker:36 on the ACT.
Speaker:Whatever.
Speaker:Doesn't care.
Speaker:I'll study and I'll study and I
Speaker:'ll study and I'll still get a C
Speaker:plus, you know, even if
Speaker:I studied all night, it doesn't
Speaker:matter.
Speaker:Retention.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:ADD.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:And I would double guess myself
Speaker:.
Speaker:So I didn't, you know, grades
Speaker:would fail.
Speaker:I wasn't very good at sports.
Speaker:I was tiny.
Speaker:I was tiny.
Speaker:In a huge school, I was still
Speaker:like the third smallest kid in
Speaker:the class for a while there.
Speaker:I'm still small, but now I can
Speaker:blend in with a crowd a little
Speaker:more.
Speaker:I don't stand out or anything
Speaker:like that.
Speaker:Were you good at sports?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:No, I wasn't.
Speaker:Like I liked them, but I just,
Speaker:I got nervous.
Speaker:I got really fucking nervous,
Speaker:you know?
Speaker:But then I grew to a certain
Speaker:age where I was like, I don't
Speaker:have grades.
Speaker:I don't have sports.
Speaker:I'm tiny.
Speaker:I'm angsty.
Speaker:What do I do?
Speaker:How do you get respect fast?
Speaker:I was like, well, I'm just
Speaker:going to openly do drugs.
Speaker:You know, I'm going to be like
Speaker:the stoner kid.
Speaker:Got to find your identity.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:And I watched Days to Confuse
Speaker:when I was a freshman the
Speaker:summer before going into
Speaker:freshman year.
Speaker:And I was like, okay, when I
Speaker:meet stoners at my school, I'm
Speaker:kind of like, I want them to
Speaker:like me.
Speaker:I'm like, okay, let's just do
Speaker:that.
Speaker:Let's just put it all on the
Speaker:table.
Speaker:Like Slater.
Speaker:Yeah, but a little, they were
Speaker:more menacing.
Speaker:I was more Slater-esque.
Speaker:The stoners at my school, you
Speaker:know, they're kind of like
Speaker:tough.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Like they wanted to fight each
Speaker:other.
Speaker:It's interesting that you
Speaker:mentioned Days to Confuse
Speaker:because I feel like when I was
Speaker:in high school and junior high,
Speaker:I feel like I got a lot of my
Speaker:ideas about my identity from
Speaker:movies as opposed to like from
Speaker:a parental figure or an older
Speaker:adult.
Speaker:And I still think that that
Speaker:actually affects the way that I
Speaker:see the world in a way is like
Speaker:watching too many movies when I
Speaker:was a kid.
Speaker:And you're preaching to the
Speaker:choir.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:I mean, whatever I thought was
Speaker:like a cool guy, I would try to
Speaker:be, okay, these guys in these
Speaker:movies get laid.
Speaker:I'm going to try to act like
Speaker:that.
Speaker:So if that's real life, right.
Speaker:And yeah, no, it never worked.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Then you get older and you
Speaker:realize.
Speaker:What is that?
Speaker:Are those movies not true?
Speaker:What's going on?
Speaker:Right, right.
Speaker:Then you realize that it's all
Speaker:bullshit and you're like.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I was really pissed about
Speaker:that.
Speaker:I was insecure as fuck, man.
Speaker:Oh, acne is acne everywhere.
Speaker:Yeah, me too.
Speaker:Braces.
Speaker:Actually, I had braces from
Speaker:freshman year till senior year.
Speaker:Me too.
Speaker:Not that period of time, but
Speaker:yeah.
Speaker:Three years, two years.
Speaker:I remember they wanted to keep
Speaker:it ongoing in the college.
Speaker:And I fucking orthodontists,
Speaker:man.
Speaker:They want to ring you dry.
Speaker:It was the fucking worst, dude.
Speaker:And once I caught on and they
Speaker:were like, yeah, you're still
Speaker:off by a couple of millimeters.
Speaker:We recommend keeping it on.
Speaker:And I was 18 at the time.
Speaker:I was like, take them off.
Speaker:Well, that's the game, right?
Speaker:I'm like, I know that I can say
Speaker:this now.
Speaker:You got to take them off my
Speaker:face now.
Speaker:And they like looked at my mom
Speaker:and my mom was just shrugged.
Speaker:She's like, yeah, you heard the
Speaker:band.
Speaker:I was such a nerd in middle
Speaker:school that like the nerdy kid,
Speaker:this kid, Owen Priest, never
Speaker:forget.
Speaker:He slammed my head into a
Speaker:locker.
Speaker:Like the nerdiest kid above me
Speaker:fucking hurt me.
Speaker:Well, nerdy or weird.
Speaker:He was both.
Speaker:He was like the other outcast.
Speaker:He was like.
Speaker:Because a weird kid will slam
Speaker:anyone.
Speaker:It was like two outcasts, you
Speaker:know, vying for power or
Speaker:something.
Speaker:It was fucking awful.
Speaker:One of us.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:One weird.
Speaker:Middle school was the worst.
Speaker:That's when kids learn how to
Speaker:be assholes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I was bulleted in middle school
Speaker:.
Speaker:That was the toughest one.
Speaker:It was awful.
Speaker:High school was fine.
Speaker:High school got better.
Speaker:For sure.
Speaker:I had fun in high school to be
Speaker:completely honest with you.
Speaker:But middle school.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:I had a lot of trouble.
Speaker:What did you do in high school?
Speaker:Sports still or no?
Speaker:No, no.
Speaker:That was when I went full st
Speaker:oner mode.
Speaker:Freshman year was funny.
Speaker:This transitionary period where
Speaker:I didn't know and I didn't
Speaker:really care.
Speaker:What was it?
Speaker:It was Young Life, which is.
Speaker:Oh, I know what that is.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's a youth group going on and
Speaker:really prevalent at my school,
Speaker:specifically with the seniors,
Speaker:with that class.
Speaker:And, you know, these seniors
Speaker:come to the freshmen and they
Speaker:'re like, hey, you want to hang
Speaker:out
Speaker:after school, like on a weekend
Speaker:night?
Speaker:Love bomb.
Speaker:Love bomb.
Speaker:You can, you know, ride in my
Speaker:car.
Speaker:I was like, this is like Dazed
Speaker:and Confused.
Speaker:Except.
Speaker:Right, right, right.
Speaker:The exact opposite.
Speaker:So, you know, we go to this
Speaker:basement, which sounds weird,
Speaker:but there were like, you know,
Speaker:50 people in the basement.
Speaker:But they're Christians.
Speaker:Just dancing around.
Speaker:It was a lot of fun, you know?
Speaker:No drinking.
Speaker:I was, I don't know.
Speaker:I was naive.
Speaker:I was like, didn't catch on to
Speaker:me.
Speaker:That they were Christians.
Speaker:That was a tell.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:I kind of knew that they were,
Speaker:I knew that it was Christian
Speaker:based, but then you're dancing
Speaker:and dancing and dancing at the
Speaker:end of the night and they're
Speaker:like, all right, now we pray.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Okay, gotta go.
Speaker:But they did get me.
Speaker:I felt kind of cool.
Speaker:That's how they get you.
Speaker:They love Bomb U.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Oh man, it was weird.
Speaker:They would take, I actually
Speaker:went to Young Life Camp.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:You know, it's like three days
Speaker:in the woods in Saranac, New
Speaker:York.
Speaker:Your parents probably liked it.
Speaker:They're not Christian.
Speaker:They were just kind of like,
Speaker:okay, sure.
Speaker:They were hanging out with good
Speaker:, wholesome people.
Speaker:Good, wholesome.
Speaker:Nah, they always trusted me.
Speaker:I think they were just kind of
Speaker:confused.
Speaker:They're like, okay, sure.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:If you're finding God, that's
Speaker:not, go for it.
Speaker:Sure.
Speaker:Sure.
Speaker:No, I just wanted to go because
Speaker:everyone I knew was, all the
Speaker:freshmen got kind of roped
Speaker:in.
Speaker:And my girlfriend at the time
Speaker:was going and everything.
Speaker:And I was like, all right, fuck
Speaker:it.
Speaker:I was an atheist at the time.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:My friends knew, my girlfriend
Speaker:knew, and I'm agnostic now.
Speaker:I don't give a fuck.
Speaker:Sure.
Speaker:But at the time, I was, you
Speaker:know, pseudo-intellectual.
Speaker:I was like, there's no God like
Speaker:I knew.
Speaker:But I would keep it a secret
Speaker:from the actual Young Life,
Speaker:like seniors.
Speaker:Sure, because they're not going
Speaker:to let you in if you don't.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You'll at least pretend.
Speaker:Well, they did find out when I
Speaker:was there, and they made it a
Speaker:...
Speaker:How did they find out?
Speaker:Oh, people told them.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Word ends up.
Speaker:You spoke a lot about how you
Speaker:didn't believe in God.
Speaker:To my friends, and my friends,
Speaker:I'm sure, told them.
Speaker:This whole God thing's bullshit
Speaker:, by the way, you guys.
Speaker:That's right.
Speaker:And they had these weird games,
Speaker:competitions, secret
Speaker:competitions.
Speaker:Right, I can see that.
Speaker:To see who can convert the st
Speaker:oner kid.
Speaker:Oh, my God.
Speaker:And they would take me deep in
Speaker:the woods one at a time to Eno,
Speaker:you know, hammock.
Speaker:And they would give their...
Speaker:This is my personal Bible.
Speaker:I want to give it to you.
Speaker:Like, if they could come out of
Speaker:that woods with that win, they
Speaker:would get so many brownie
Speaker:points with good old JC.
Speaker:If only they just had a naked
Speaker:woman that you could fuck out
Speaker:there, they'd be like, that's
Speaker:how you get them in.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Right, right.
Speaker:But that's premarital.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But you just don't have to talk
Speaker:about it.
Speaker:You're right.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Well, if it...
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It would be the priest diddling
Speaker:me, actually.
Speaker:You know what Mormons do?
Speaker:Mormons can't have sex when
Speaker:they get married, so they'll do
Speaker:a thing.
Speaker:I forget the name.
Speaker:Soaking.
Speaker:Soaking.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:That's fucking crazy.
Speaker:Would they just put their dick
Speaker:near the vagina and have
Speaker:somebody...
Speaker:No, they put it in.
Speaker:Yeah, I couldn't figure it out
Speaker:where they actually put it in,
Speaker:because they said there's
Speaker:not penetration.
Speaker:Uh-oh.
Speaker:I'm sure there's layers of...
Speaker:Like, when I looked it up
Speaker:online, it said there wasn't
Speaker:penetration, so it seemed like
Speaker:maybe there's rubbing.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:It could be either way.
Speaker:But then you have a friend
Speaker:involved under the bed.
Speaker:Maybe it's the thrust that...
Speaker:Maybe it's just the tip.
Speaker:Is the...
Speaker:If you thrust, then it's
Speaker:considered penetration.
Speaker:Maybe, yeah.
Speaker:I mean, what a weird religion
Speaker:that is, but just the tip.
Speaker:Yeah, because the Mormon God is
Speaker:so dumb that it can't tell the
Speaker:difference between soaking
Speaker:and actual sex.
Speaker:I can't.
Speaker:Mormonism is...
Speaker:That's disrespectful to the
Speaker:Mormon God.
Speaker:As long as you're wearing the
Speaker:Mormon underwear, you're good.
Speaker:What's his name?
Speaker:John Smith?
Speaker:And they're from, like, Ohio,
Speaker:too.
Speaker:They came...
Speaker:They were up in Ohio until they
Speaker:...
Speaker:When they were...
Speaker:It was one of the big...
Speaker:I think it was near northern
Speaker:Ohio, northwestern Ohio, northe
Speaker:astern Ohio.
Speaker:I forget the city, but they
Speaker:were living there, and then
Speaker:they got kicked out of there,
Speaker:and
Speaker:they kept moving, and then they
Speaker:finally got to Utah, and they
Speaker:were like, all right.
Speaker:This is where we're going to
Speaker:settle.
Speaker:Well, they're going to have all
Speaker:our wives here and shit.
Speaker:Our 20 wives.
Speaker:I mean, the wives thing
Speaker:probably worked out.
Speaker:For the fellas, definitely.
Speaker:For the women, not so much.
Speaker:They think it worked out for
Speaker:them, though.
Speaker:They're...
Speaker:Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker:They get brainwashed, like,
Speaker:hard.
Speaker:Like, all the fucking way.
Speaker:So, stoner crowd, and how old
Speaker:were you when you got laid for
Speaker:the first time?
Speaker:I was 21.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker:I had plenty of opportunities.
Speaker:I'm not sure you did.
Speaker:I'm just so serious.
Speaker:I'm a gay fucker.
Speaker:Yeah, that's what it says.
Speaker:Look at his face.
Speaker:Come on now.
Speaker:Yeah, I could have fucked as
Speaker:many chicks as I wanted.
Speaker:No, no.
Speaker:I was in bed, and I would be
Speaker:naked, and I would just lie,
Speaker:because I was just so scared.
Speaker:Oh.
Speaker:It's just terrified.
Speaker:Or I'd have had my underwear on
Speaker:, and they'd be like, what?
Speaker:I would just come up with
Speaker:something every time.
Speaker:The first, like, it's happened,
Speaker:like, five times, you know?
Speaker:Or, like, yeah, you know?
Speaker:You know, I'd be like, oh, my
Speaker:best friend is actually in love
Speaker:with you.
Speaker:I can't go through with this.
Speaker:Or, oh, I remember in high
Speaker:school, I actually said, I'm
Speaker:just so tortured.
Speaker:I'm too tortured.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And it didn't make any sense to
Speaker:me or her.
Speaker:She was like, okay.
Speaker:But it worked.
Speaker:You didn't get laid.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Score.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:I did it.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's the movie you should
Speaker:write.
Speaker:That's the movie you should
Speaker:write.
Speaker:Trying not to get laid.
Speaker:Trying not to get laid.
Speaker:That's actually what, that's a
Speaker:title right there.
Speaker:It was really fucking hard,
Speaker:trying not to get laid, man.
Speaker:God damn.
Speaker:Yeah, what a nightmare for you.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Sorry you had to go through
Speaker:that.
Speaker:No, my first experience, yeah,
Speaker:I just lied.
Speaker:I was like, oh, yeah, I've
Speaker:fucked.
Speaker:What were you concerned about?
Speaker:Not being good at it, I think,
Speaker:was the big one.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Or, like, not either, you know,
Speaker:coming too fast or not even
Speaker:being hard at all, definitely.
Speaker:Which was the case when I first
Speaker:got laid, I'll be honest with
Speaker:you.
Speaker:Huh.
Speaker:And then I was so pissed at
Speaker:myself.
Speaker:I was like, you horny little
Speaker:bastard.
Speaker:You're finally doing it.
Speaker:You can't even get hard.
Speaker:And then a couple days later, I
Speaker:remember she was feeding me
Speaker:rails of crushed up Adderall
Speaker:all night.
Speaker:I'm like, oh, fuck.
Speaker:I completely forgot what that
Speaker:does to your little ding dong.
Speaker:That'll do it, yeah.
Speaker:And I was so embarrassed, you
Speaker:know.
Speaker:So then you graduate high
Speaker:school incredibly.
Speaker:Incredibly, yeah.
Speaker:What's your relationship with
Speaker:your parents like?
Speaker:Me and my mom have always been
Speaker:very close.
Speaker:My dad and I, you know, we're
Speaker:buddies.
Speaker:Fathers and sons are tricky.
Speaker:Yeah, we're buddies, you know.
Speaker:He's pretty much like, I don't
Speaker:know, he reminds me of Adam
Speaker:Sandler.
Speaker:Like, he's just like, you know,
Speaker:he can't be serious.
Speaker:It's very, very difficult for
Speaker:him to be serious.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:So, you know, when, yeah, when
Speaker:you can't ever be serious, you
Speaker:can't ever be vulnerable.
Speaker:And so when you can't ever be
Speaker:vulnerable, you can't ever form
Speaker:.
Speaker:That's strong relationship.
Speaker:So I do dig, you know, I poke
Speaker:and prod at him when, you know,
Speaker:sometimes.
Speaker:I'd be like, what happened here
Speaker:?
Speaker:When I, you know, trying to
Speaker:figure out what was happening
Speaker:to his child.
Speaker:He had a crazy fucking
Speaker:childhood, man.
Speaker:Vulnerability is tough for
Speaker:Midwesterners and particularly
Speaker:like older.
Speaker:He's from Jersey.
Speaker:Oh, interesting.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:They're usually blunt.
Speaker:They usually are.
Speaker:Pretty frank.
Speaker:Well, that's the stereotype.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But he is all about like, good
Speaker:vibe.
Speaker:Like he, you know, he's a Jimmy
Speaker:Buffett guy.
Speaker:Like, you know, he grew up on
Speaker:the beach.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Like he literally listens to
Speaker:Jimmy Buffett?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:How do you feel?
Speaker:You like Jimmy Buffett?
Speaker:I do because of him.
Speaker:Which one?
Speaker:Which songs?
Speaker:We like trying to reason with
Speaker:hurricane season.
Speaker:I don't know that one.
Speaker:Like things like that.
Speaker:Everything rhymes in the Jimmy
Speaker:Buffett song.
Speaker:It's got to rhyme.
Speaker:Yeah, they do.
Speaker:I don't like, I don't like the
Speaker:hits.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Changes in attitude.
Speaker:Changes in latitude.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So you know a couple.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Yeah, it's fun.
Speaker:It's dumb.
Speaker:No, but the instruments in
Speaker:Jimmy Buffett song.
Speaker:Hey, Margaritaville's a great
Speaker:song.
Speaker:It is.
Speaker:I can't hear it anymore though.
Speaker:Growing up with it, you know.
Speaker:Some people say that there's a
Speaker:woman to blame.
Speaker:But they're right.
Speaker:It's all their fault.
Speaker:Wait, but there's a very.
Speaker:But as the story goes on, he
Speaker:progresses as a human.
Speaker:At the end, he says, it's
Speaker:actually my fault.
Speaker:Yeah, see, Jimmy Buffett is.
Speaker:Oh, I didn't.
Speaker:I never thought about it.
Speaker:I never looked into it.
Speaker:I've got to pay attention to
Speaker:these beautiful, deep Jimmy
Speaker:Buffett lyrics.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:I went to the last Jimmy Buff
Speaker:ett show in Cincinnati.
Speaker:And that is where.
Speaker:It's the biggest fan base.
Speaker:That's where they coined the
Speaker:term Parrothead.
Speaker:No shit.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Bigger than Key West.
Speaker:I wonder why that is.
Speaker:It's because nobody wants to be
Speaker:in Cincinnati.
Speaker:Nobody wants to be.
Speaker:You know, when you're in Ohio.
Speaker:No one wants to be in a lot of
Speaker:places.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Well, since, you know, when you
Speaker:'re in Ohio, it's about island
Speaker:escapism.
Speaker:It's not about, you know, you
Speaker:'re daydreaming.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Columbus has sports though.
Speaker:So that's how they, that's
Speaker:their Jimmy Buffett is.
Speaker:Columbus has got sports.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'm not going to miss that.
Speaker:You know, that's with you.
Speaker:No, no.
Speaker:I'm proud of him in my life
Speaker:here.
Speaker:My favorite thing about the
Speaker:city is this cult of sports.
Speaker:It's most people's favorite.
Speaker:It's most people's favorite.
Speaker:I'm a fucking, we're a couple
Speaker:of snobs.
Speaker:And you know, you know, more
Speaker:power to them.
Speaker:I was at a, I was watching the
Speaker:championship game with my
Speaker:cousin.
Speaker:My cousin loves sports.
Speaker:And we were watching the Ohio
Speaker:state championship game.
Speaker:It was with him and his kids,
Speaker:but there was some friend of
Speaker:his that I had never met.
Speaker:And he was really, he was that
Speaker:guy.
Speaker:He was really into Ohio state.
Speaker:And I'm just kind of watching
Speaker:it.
Speaker:You like to say, let's go a lot
Speaker:.
Speaker:Let's go.
Speaker:I don't know if he said that,
Speaker:but so we're watching it.
Speaker:And I'm kind of like, I'm
Speaker:watching a sporting event as I
Speaker:watch sporting events.
Speaker:I don't really like, I enjoy
Speaker:watching sports sometimes, but
Speaker:it's like, I don't take it
Speaker:seriously.
Speaker:I want an entertaining game.
Speaker:If I'm going to watch it, I
Speaker:want an exciting back and forth
Speaker:or whatever.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And so the game started, the
Speaker:game started pausing and yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:The game starts getting close
Speaker:and I'm like, oh, at least it's
Speaker:exciting.
Speaker:And this guy's happy.
Speaker:He's like, we don't want it to
Speaker:be close.
Speaker:Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker:And at the end, he was getting
Speaker:mad.
Speaker:He was getting, he, if that, if
Speaker:they'd lost, he may have like
Speaker:killed himself or started
Speaker:crying.
Speaker:And I think he did cry actually
Speaker:when they won.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So college, I can understand
Speaker:you're representing your school
Speaker:, but NFL, I will never
Speaker:understand
Speaker:that.
Speaker:That's just companies buying
Speaker:people.
Speaker:It's like, what are we?
Speaker:Well, it's just professional
Speaker:sports.
Speaker:It's not any different than
Speaker:baseball or basketball.
Speaker:It's the same fucking thing.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:No, your allegiance to a
Speaker:company basically, because they
Speaker:'re trading you based on stats
Speaker:and
Speaker:sure.
Speaker:It's all arbitrary, you know?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'm not arguing that.
Speaker:Although as a Clevelander, like
Speaker:growing up watching the
Speaker:Cleveland Browns, I do have an
Speaker:affinity
Speaker:for them.
Speaker:I, if anything, I would root
Speaker:for the Cleveland Browns just
Speaker:for underdog sake.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's what being from a
Speaker:Cleveland is all about.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That I can get behind.
Speaker:They did well, you know, a few
Speaker:years back.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'll watch it.
Speaker:If they do well, I'll watch.
Speaker:If they do well, I'll start
Speaker:watching towards the end.
Speaker:That's who, that's the, that's
Speaker:the kind of sports fan I am is
Speaker:if the team's doing well
Speaker:at the end of the season.
Speaker:Bandwagon?
Speaker:Then I pay, exactly.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Like the Indians last year, the
Speaker:Guardians were there.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Well, it, it also takes a lot
Speaker:of homework and like daily
Speaker:homework.
Speaker:I call it homework because I
Speaker:don't give a fuck.
Speaker:I don't do any homework.
Speaker:No, no.
Speaker:I just mean like people that
Speaker:are into sports, you know, you,
Speaker:the way to, for people to
Speaker:connect,
Speaker:especially my family.
Speaker:For sure.
Speaker:Um, he's only bringing up the
Speaker:names and the stats and, and,
Speaker:and, and you, you gotta, you
Speaker:gotta keep up with that shit
Speaker:constantly.
Speaker:I just listen to the sports
Speaker:radio all the time.
Speaker:I think it was Noam Chomsky who
Speaker:said like, if he was listening,
Speaker:he was like driving through
Speaker:somewhere and he was listening
Speaker:to random radio stations and he
Speaker:got on one of these sports
Speaker:radio stations and he's
Speaker:listening to these people like
Speaker:analyze sports to this insane
Speaker:degree.
Speaker:And he's like, if people
Speaker:analyze the way the world and
Speaker:the government works on the
Speaker:level
Speaker:that they analyze sports every
Speaker:day, then we'd actually have in
Speaker:a different civilization right
Speaker:now.
Speaker:Politics has turned into sports
Speaker:teams, you know, you got your
Speaker:reality TV.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Well, sports, it's like you, it
Speaker:'s like they see it as my team
Speaker:versus your team.
Speaker:No shades of gray, red versus
Speaker:blue.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And then they treat, um, they
Speaker:treat sports like politics, you
Speaker:know, they're, they see the
Speaker:complexities of it all.
Speaker:And, uh, it's productive in a
Speaker:certain way.
Speaker:You know, you can talk to
Speaker:someone without killing them.
Speaker:Politics.
Speaker:The first time, if you start
Speaker:talking politics with someone
Speaker:that has a little bit of a devi
Speaker:ated
Speaker:opinion from what you believe,
Speaker:it's war.
Speaker:It depends on the person.
Speaker:Until you both decide at a
Speaker:certain point, let's stop
Speaker:talking about this because you
Speaker:'re not going
Speaker:to win anyone over unless they
Speaker:'re a true on the fencer.
Speaker:Which is really unfortunate
Speaker:because that's not the way that
Speaker:it's meant to be.
Speaker:Like we're meant to be able to
Speaker:have opinions that would change
Speaker:based on new information.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And it's unfortunate that
Speaker:everybody's so locked into
Speaker:their, like, that's the problem
Speaker:with
Speaker:the world right now.
Speaker:Aside from, you know,
Speaker:everything.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Many problems with the world,
Speaker:but that's a big one just that
Speaker:we can't even, we're so closed
Speaker:off to any other beliefs that
Speaker:we can't even see each other.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:How old were you when Trump
Speaker:first got elected?
Speaker:Well, give me the year.
Speaker:Uh, it was 2016.
Speaker:2016?
Speaker:I was 17.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:That's crazy to think that,
Speaker:like, when I was growing up,
Speaker:when I was your age, I, like,
Speaker:politics was, I think it was a
Speaker:George Bush.
Speaker:And certainly there was rage at
Speaker:politics and so forth, but it
Speaker:wasn't like this horrible
Speaker:behemoth that was, anyway,
Speaker:slowly enveloping and the 24
Speaker:hour news hadn't happened yet.
Speaker:Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But now you've basically grown
Speaker:up under like, well, I guess
Speaker:Obama, Obama was quote unquote
Speaker:good.
Speaker:And then you had, you've got
Speaker:Trump for 12 years.
Speaker:Ain't nobody was good.
Speaker:Ain't nobody.
Speaker:That's a good, good president.
Speaker:Jimmy Carter was one.
Speaker:Jimmy Carter was actually a
Speaker:good, good president and a good
Speaker:man after he was president.
Speaker:After he was president, he was
Speaker:a peanut farmer from Georgia.
Speaker:After he was president, he
Speaker:spent the rest of his life,
Speaker:like, working for Habitat for
Speaker:Humanity and building houses.
Speaker:He'd be out there 80 years old.
Speaker:Fucking.
Speaker:Nah, we can find dirt.
Speaker:We can find some dirt.
Speaker:No doubt.
Speaker:Well, I'm sure there's dirt
Speaker:somewhere.
Speaker:I'm not talking about a little.
Speaker:But at least Obama's got a
Speaker:Netflix deal, for Christ's sake
Speaker:.
Speaker:No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker:I'm not talking about a little
Speaker:bit of dirt.
Speaker:I'm talking about that dude
Speaker:definitely funded genocides
Speaker:like everybody else.
Speaker:I'm saying relatively.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I think he was.
Speaker:In comparison to.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I mean, for the last 40 years,
Speaker:50 years of his life, he
Speaker:literally gave it, giving back
Speaker:to the, like, he was.
Speaker:Publicly.
Speaker:Publicly.
Speaker:Sure.
Speaker:I'll take it.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Better than Obama right now.
Speaker:He's just working for Netflix.
Speaker:You can't ever give props to a
Speaker:politician.
Speaker:Especially the big man.
Speaker:That's fair.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It just doesn't feel right.
Speaker:There's stuff we just don't
Speaker:know.
Speaker:And we never will.
Speaker:And it's just like, how many
Speaker:fucking innocent people are
Speaker:dead because of him?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Because of every president.
Speaker:It happens.
Speaker:So how'd you start the film
Speaker:stuff?
Speaker:Do you remember the first film
Speaker:you ever watched?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:I remember.
Speaker:What's an early film that you
Speaker:saw that was like.
Speaker:A lot of animation.
Speaker:A lot of animation.
Speaker:There's this movie called The
Speaker:Rescuers Down Under, which is,
Speaker:you know, it's underrated,
Speaker:underappreciated.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Incredibly underrated, dude.
Speaker:When you talk about classic
Speaker:Disney animated movies, ain't
Speaker:nobody ever going to mention
Speaker:this
Speaker:movie in a million fucking
Speaker:years.
Speaker:No, no, no.
Speaker:You're right.
Speaker:You're right.
Speaker:And then I think first grade, I
Speaker:had this, my best friend
Speaker:Cameron, I'd go to his house
Speaker:and I would use his family
Speaker:video camera.
Speaker:I was addicted to it so much
Speaker:that he just hated me.
Speaker:He was like, you just want the
Speaker:camera.
Speaker:I'm like, yeah, maybe.
Speaker:I like you too, though.
Speaker:And then I forgot about it for
Speaker:a bit.
Speaker:You know, I still loved movies
Speaker:always, but I was a writer.
Speaker:You know, I wanted to write
Speaker:books and short stories, so I
Speaker:did.
Speaker:And then seventh grade, I was
Speaker:12, 11 or 12, biography week or
Speaker:month.
Speaker:You know, you pick a biography,
Speaker:you read it, you do report on
Speaker:it.
Speaker:It was between Bob Marley and,
Speaker:yeah, I love Bob Marley.
Speaker:And Spielberg.
Speaker:I picked Spielberg because that
Speaker:was what was available.
Speaker:And I was like, I said it out
Speaker:loud too.
Speaker:I was like, this is what I want
Speaker:to do.
Speaker:And it has not, no doubt.
Speaker:There was no doubt in my mind.
Speaker:This is exactly what I want to
Speaker:do.
Speaker:And it just has not changed.
Speaker:So did you like Spielberg at
Speaker:the time?
Speaker:Oh, yeah.
Speaker:What's your favorite Spielberg?
Speaker:I had an E.T. poster.
Speaker:I was a big fan of E.T.
Speaker:Yeah, growing up E.T.
Speaker:Now, I don't know.
Speaker:I had the soundtrack on 45.
Speaker:Really?
Speaker:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker:It changes for me.
Speaker:Loved Temple of Doom as
Speaker:ridiculous as it is.
Speaker:Not Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Speaker:No, no, no.
Speaker:I was a fucking kid, man.
Speaker:I wanted like balls to the wall
Speaker:.
Speaker:Andy, Andy.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I wanted the most outrageous.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:His movies are outrageous.
Speaker:The Gremlins?
Speaker:There's some good ones in there
Speaker:, yeah.
Speaker:The Gremlins is underrated.
Speaker:There's some bad ones, but
Speaker:there's some good ones, yeah.
Speaker:I miss it.
Speaker:No, he's a master.
Speaker:Yeah, but nowadays, I haven't
Speaker:even touched his historical ep
Speaker:ics.
Speaker:I mean, Jaws on its own is just
Speaker:incredible.
Speaker:Oh, yeah.
Speaker:That's number one.
Speaker:Okay, that is the number one.
Speaker:I saw that in the theater like
Speaker:three, four years ago, and it
Speaker:was an amazing, like, there's
Speaker:so many things about that movie
Speaker:that are so smart, yeah.
Speaker:So fucking good.
Speaker:The thing he figured out was
Speaker:like, he'll have the camera on
Speaker:a character, and something's
Speaker:happening off screen, and they
Speaker:'ll hear a sound, and they'll
Speaker:look, and he doesn't show
Speaker:you what they're looking at for
Speaker:a few seconds.
Speaker:Does he pan over after?
Speaker:Or whatever, he cuts to it, or
Speaker:whatever, but he just builds
Speaker:the tension by just showing
Speaker:the person reacting to the
Speaker:thing that you don't even know
Speaker:what it is yet, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'm actually doing that in the
Speaker:short film, that exact thing in
Speaker:the short film that we're
Speaker:doing right now.
Speaker:That by this point, once this
Speaker:is released, it'll be in Tribe
Speaker:ca and be made into a feature
Speaker:film,
Speaker:I believe.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:I'll have the funding by then.
Speaker:Yeah, there'll be a $10 million
Speaker:, A24, I believe.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:We're going to get Daniel Day
Speaker:out of retirement.
Speaker:For sure you should, yeah, yeah
Speaker:.
Speaker:To play a 21-year-old.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Have you ever seen My Left Foot
Speaker:?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Doesn't really work with the
Speaker:microphones.
Speaker:Shouldn't laugh, yeah.
Speaker:Just to describe what Jef is
Speaker:doing here, he did a crude
Speaker:imitation of a disabled man.
Speaker:No, it's literally the guy in
Speaker:My Left Foot.
Speaker:It's Daniel Day-Lewis playing.
Speaker:Oh, I got some fucked up lore
Speaker:on My Left Foot.
Speaker:See how it ends on a very sweet
Speaker:note?
Speaker:Like, oh, he found a woman that
Speaker:loves him and there's some hope
Speaker:.
Speaker:Vaguely, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:She abused the fuck out of him.
Speaker:Oh, the real My Left Foot guy.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:She abused the hell out of him.
Speaker:Might have even led to his
Speaker:death at one point.
Speaker:Let's make the sequel.
Speaker:Let's make the sequel.
Speaker:What do you...
Speaker:Oh, yeah.
Speaker:My Left Foot Part 2.
Speaker:The Darker Years.
Speaker:My Right Foot.
Speaker:Right, right.
Speaker:Yeah, he starts feeling his
Speaker:right foot.
Speaker:Because she...
Speaker:Yeah, she beat him, definitely.
Speaker:I wonder if Stephen Hawking's
Speaker:like...
Speaker:Wasn't he married or something?
Speaker:Did I wonder if his wife
Speaker:fucking like...
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I've seen the Family Guy clip
Speaker:where they're both disabled and
Speaker:having wheelchair sex in bed.
Speaker:She's like typing in her moans.
Speaker:I don't...
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:That's as far as I know about
Speaker:his fucking...
Speaker:That's pretty funny.
Speaker:That's pretty funny, though.
Speaker:I know he had a girl when he
Speaker:didn't have the disability.
Speaker:Right, we all saw the movie.
Speaker:I didn't.
Speaker:Oh, yeah.
Speaker:I just know about it.
Speaker:Oh, right.
Speaker:You're just a fan of Stephen
Speaker:Hawking, yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Just know the Stephen Hawking
Speaker:lore.
Speaker:I tried reading some of his
Speaker:books just to like feel smart.
Speaker:I read the one.
Speaker:It didn't make me feel smart.
Speaker:It was just more confusing.
Speaker:I love the first like quarter
Speaker:of that like Carl Jung type
Speaker:book because it's one that you
Speaker:'re
Speaker:like, oh my God, I'm
Speaker:understanding what they're
Speaker:saying.
Speaker:And then they're like, there's
Speaker:a drop off point where they're
Speaker:like, okay, now that we've
Speaker:explained all of the beginner
Speaker:dumbass shit, let's just start
Speaker:talking.
Speaker:Let's get in.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And then I'm like, oh, I have
Speaker:no idea what they're saying.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:God damn.
Speaker:I think my brain just, I think
Speaker:like some physicists and stuff,
Speaker:I think their brain just works
Speaker:differently.
Speaker:But like, I want to understand
Speaker:that, like how you can explain
Speaker:the universe with math.
Speaker:Like what's that?
Speaker:How do you, like you can
Speaker:explain how the universe acts.
Speaker:Why gravity because of an
Speaker:equation?
Speaker:I don't get that at all.
Speaker:So like our brains, like my
Speaker:theory is that our brains like
Speaker:intentionally, like we were,
Speaker:we were wired for our brains to
Speaker:intentionally like short
Speaker:circuit when we start to
Speaker:conceptualize
Speaker:how large the universe might be
Speaker:because it just wouldn't work.
Speaker:It's not that we can't do it.
Speaker:It's that it's not healthy for
Speaker:us.
Speaker:But not everybody's does though
Speaker:.
Speaker:Like there's clearly people who
Speaker:are able to comprehend this
Speaker:level.
Speaker:They bypassed it.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And they're fucked.
Speaker:You think that?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:They have, they have a lack of
Speaker:empathy to a certain degree.
Speaker:They've transcended a certain
Speaker:part of the human condition.
Speaker:Maybe they know something that
Speaker:we don't.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's what I'm saying.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But I think I would rather stay
Speaker:in my lane and keep my empathy
Speaker:than understand, like,
Speaker:you know, big picture people.
Speaker:You got to think about the big
Speaker:picture, you know, think about
Speaker:the species.
Speaker:Nah, I ain't about that.
Speaker:I'm talking about, I'm thinking
Speaker:about individuals and that's
Speaker:about it.
Speaker:Sure.
Speaker:I mean, we're all inherently,
Speaker:you know, egocentric.
Speaker:What are you saying?
Speaker:But I mean, it's true.
Speaker:How can you, you can't, you can
Speaker:'t avoid it.
Speaker:Yeah, I know.
Speaker:But like, I was reading some
Speaker:book that was talking about
Speaker:what, what would really happen.
Speaker:Like they are working on like
Speaker:drugs that will extend our
Speaker:lives, right?
Speaker:So this guy was kind of pos
Speaker:iting, like, what would happen
Speaker:if they invented this drug?
Speaker:Well, first off, like the rich
Speaker:people would get it first,
Speaker:right?
Speaker:This would be a drug that would
Speaker:, everybody would want it, right
Speaker:?
Speaker:Probably be gatekept for like
Speaker:100, 200 years.
Speaker:Yeah, that'd be right.
Speaker:And they wouldn't, they would
Speaker:keep it a secret.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But then the ramifications of
Speaker:having a, of being able to live
Speaker:, let's say, I mean, even 300
Speaker:years,
Speaker:whatever.
Speaker:Like you would get number one
Speaker:bored and you would be so
Speaker:afraid of like airplanes.
Speaker:Nobody would fly in a plane.
Speaker:Nobody would take any risk
Speaker:because to take a risk would
Speaker:mean to, the only way you can
Speaker:die
Speaker:is by having your body get
Speaker:fucking destroyed.
Speaker:So you would be so risk averse,
Speaker:skydiving would be over.
Speaker:It's true.
Speaker:Anyway, it seemed very, it was
Speaker:like, and it would, and if you
Speaker:were the only one that was
Speaker:living a long time and all you
Speaker:did was just live and every,
Speaker:all your friends died, I don't
Speaker:know.
Speaker:Well, that's the vampire movie
Speaker:effect, right?
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:It's like, yeah.
Speaker:Or the vampire story.
Speaker:I think suicide.
Speaker:It's like all the vampires are
Speaker:all heartbroken because they've
Speaker:seen everyone they love die.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Which is actually why the
Speaker:vampire story is so good
Speaker:because it's still.
Speaker:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:It's heartbreaking.
Speaker:What was that?
Speaker:Was it Jim Jarmusch one with,
Speaker:what's her name?
Speaker:Did Jim Jarmusch make it?
Speaker:Yeah, he did in Detroit.
Speaker:Yeah, it was very.
Speaker:Twilight.
Speaker:Yeah, that's the one.
Speaker:No, it was the, the mice movie.
Speaker:It was the mice.
Speaker:I was trying to think of the
Speaker:title.
Speaker:Rescues from Down Under.
Speaker:Yeah, it was that one.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:He didn't come up with the fast
Speaker:time.
Speaker:Mice.
Speaker:What are you saying?
Speaker:Wasn't there, wasn't that movie
Speaker:with mice?
Speaker:The rescues Down Under, wasn't
Speaker:that with mice?
Speaker:Yeah, but what?
Speaker:No, I was just trying to make a
Speaker:joke, but it's gone so off the
Speaker:rails because, just because
Speaker:I couldn't remember the name of
Speaker:the movie.
Speaker:I caught it.
Speaker:If I could remember the name of
Speaker:the movie right away, it would
Speaker:have been a good joke.
Speaker:I wish I made a fucking vampire
Speaker:movie.
Speaker:Only Lovers Left Alive.
Speaker:That was what it was called.
Speaker:That's a cool name.
Speaker:Yeah, it's a good movie.
Speaker:You'd like it.
Speaker:It says Tilda Swindon.
Speaker:Is that real?
Speaker:Oh, she's great.
Speaker:She's the best.
Speaker:Yeah, and she looks like a
Speaker:vampire too, so.
Speaker:Yeah, she's a little, she's a
Speaker:little fugly.
Speaker:Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker:I have mixed feelings about
Speaker:whether I find her attractive
Speaker:or not.
Speaker:Really?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I don't, I think she's homely.
Speaker:Interesting.
Speaker:I could see that.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I saw her in, what was that
Speaker:movie, Kevin?
Speaker:Yeah, we need to talk about
Speaker:Kevin.
Speaker:Dude, that movie.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Anyway, we don't need to get
Speaker:into a movie jack-off thing,
Speaker:but that movie.
Speaker:Why not?
Speaker:That's our main expertise.
Speaker:We just talked about politics
Speaker:for how long.
Speaker:It's true.
Speaker:It's true.
Speaker:You're right.
Speaker:Well, that's the thing that I
Speaker:worked in for four years, so, I
Speaker:mean, I do.
Speaker:Meanwhile, I'm just blab, I'm
Speaker:just yabbing.
Speaker:If we just stop talking, then
Speaker:people will stop.
Speaker:People have already tuned up.
Speaker:I think that's not very
Speaker:optimistic.
Speaker:Hey, Mom.
Speaker:Oh, man.
Speaker:I'm so sick of what we're doing
Speaker:here.
Speaker:I mean, I'm enjoying speaking.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:But I don't want to hear it.
Speaker:He literally dismisses the
Speaker:podcast as he speaks on one.
Speaker:We've entered the, yeah.
Speaker:Somebody that would like this
Speaker:shit.
Speaker:I was thinking of calling it,
Speaker:Columbus Isn't Real.
Speaker:What?
Speaker:The name?
Speaker:The name of the podcast,
Speaker:Columbus Isn't Real.
Speaker:Columbus Isn't Real.
Speaker:Yeah, I mean, I don't like
Speaker:Columbus.
Speaker:Here we go.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Uh-oh.
Speaker:I don't like Columbus.
Speaker:What don't you like about
Speaker:Columbus?
Speaker:It's a fucking corporate hub.
Speaker:Where's better than Columbus,
Speaker:then?
Speaker:Chicago's a better place.
Speaker:New York is a better place.
Speaker:Cincinnati's a better place.
Speaker:I'm with you.
Speaker:Like, I don't love Columbus
Speaker:either, and I'm interested in
Speaker:leaving.
Speaker:But, like, I do think that
Speaker:after living in a lot of
Speaker:different cities, like, all
Speaker:these
Speaker:cities are corporate.
Speaker:It's not, like, the thing with
Speaker:Columbus to me is, like, it's
Speaker:not very culture.
Speaker:There's a cult of football.
Speaker:There we go.
Speaker:It's flat everywhere.
Speaker:That's what I was about to say.
Speaker:Any culture that we do have or
Speaker:did have gets ripped away and
Speaker:replaced.
Speaker:I mean, there's some culture
Speaker:here.
Speaker:Don't get me wrong.
Speaker:Like, there's some.
Speaker:I'm not going to give it.
Speaker:I mean, every city as big as
Speaker:ours has, like,
Speaker:their thing.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:Columbus lacks an identity, a
Speaker:distinct identity, except for
Speaker:the football thing.
Speaker:That's the thing.
Speaker:I think that when they tore
Speaker:down my favorite bar, the Stube
Speaker:, I, like, just lost all hope
Speaker:for this place.
Speaker:Because that really was a
Speaker:stronghold.
Speaker:It was a safe haven.
Speaker:It was a fucking institution.
Speaker:And it's, uh, they tore it down
Speaker:for expensive high-rise
Speaker:apartments that are going to be
Speaker:fucking
Speaker:empty.
Speaker:I think there's good things
Speaker:about this place.
Speaker:I'm just, when I was in Mexico,
Speaker:I realized, and it's going to
Speaker:sound maybe in a year when
Speaker:I'm listening to this, I'll be
Speaker:like, oh, what an idiot.
Speaker:But that I don't, that I feel
Speaker:better when I'm in a city, like
Speaker:a foreigner in a city.
Speaker:Like, I'm feeling, I started to
Speaker:sell all my stuff.
Speaker:Like, when I got back from
Speaker:Mexico, I was like, I'm just
Speaker:trying to sell my records and
Speaker:shit.
Speaker:Just getting rid of stuff.
Speaker:Because, like, I'm also like,
Speaker:all this shit.
Speaker:You have a bigger house, you
Speaker:end up accumulating all this
Speaker:fucking shit that just holds
Speaker:you down,
Speaker:holds your life down.
Speaker:Like, I'm just, um, downsizing.
Speaker:I mean, if you plan on moving,
Speaker:then, yeah.
Speaker:It doesn't even, if I plan on
Speaker:moving, like, I don't like
Speaker:feeling like I'm stuck.
Speaker:And having all this stuff makes
Speaker:me feel like, oh, it's so hard
Speaker:to go anywhere.
Speaker:Sounds like Fight Club.
Speaker:Yeah, you're trying, you're
Speaker:going minimalist?
Speaker:Fair enough, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:You do have some cool trinkets
Speaker:going on.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Like, if I get a remote job
Speaker:somewhere, I'm just gonna...
Speaker:Start traveling?
Speaker:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker:I mean, if you have a remote
Speaker:job that pays enough, then you
Speaker:can always come back to your
Speaker:little, your safe little place
Speaker:here.
Speaker:For sure.
Speaker:I just, the stuff that I
Speaker:accumulate is just sentimental
Speaker:objects that I don't have any,
Speaker:like...
Speaker:You can write through a way.
Speaker:I don't have any nice, like,
Speaker:electronics or anything.
Speaker:It's just, like, little trink
Speaker:ets and shit that, like...
Speaker:Vinyl and books.
Speaker:Souvenirs, you know?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I have a lot of records, a lot
Speaker:of books as well.
Speaker:And I don't listen to my
Speaker:records very often, and I'm
Speaker:like, why do I have all these
Speaker:fucking
Speaker:records?
Speaker:My record player broke.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:I don't know why.
Speaker:I don't like having all of them
Speaker:, getting rid of them.
Speaker:The closer you get to the
Speaker:inevitable, the easier it is.
Speaker:At least for me, it's been,
Speaker:like, clarifying in some ways.
Speaker:Like, somebody else is just
Speaker:gonna have to throw...
Speaker:Why am I keeping this?
Speaker:Somebody else is just gonna
Speaker:have to throw this shit away.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:When you die?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Is that what you're saying?
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Well, I mean, I surround myself
Speaker:with souvenirs not because I
Speaker:want to keep it, keep it, but
Speaker:because I want to surround
Speaker:myself with it.
Speaker:No, I get that inclination, and
Speaker:I do have a lot of crap around
Speaker:my house as well.
Speaker:I'm not gonna rid of all that
Speaker:stuff.
Speaker:I'm just saying that, like,
Speaker:when I was in Mexico City, all
Speaker:I had was, like, a laptop,
Speaker:some books, and a couple
Speaker:changes of clothes for, like, a
Speaker:month, and I was perfectly
Speaker:happy.
Speaker:True.
Speaker:I felt unburdened by all of the
Speaker:shit.
Speaker:For that period of time.
Speaker:Sure.
Speaker:And right.
Speaker:This is a very good point.
Speaker:A pretty short period of time.
Speaker:But I was in Korea for fucking
Speaker:a year and a half, and I was
Speaker:the same thing.
Speaker:I had as much as I could carry
Speaker:in a backpack.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:What about the thought that you
Speaker:could come back, and you would,
Speaker:and you will come back to all
Speaker:the stuff eventually?
Speaker:This is why I wanted to get rid
Speaker:of this stuff.
Speaker:Which you did.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:No, I'm trying to work through
Speaker:my fucking hoarder, like,
Speaker:tendencies here.
Speaker:I get it.
Speaker:I mean, we're...
Speaker:I'm defending it in a half-ass
Speaker:edly way, because I know the...
Speaker:I do realize the benefits of
Speaker:minimalism, and I should
Speaker:probably tap in.
Speaker:Fight Club was right.
Speaker:I mean, it's a corny thing to
Speaker:say, but the stuff you own ends
Speaker:up owning you.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:And it's totally true.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'm young enough where my cheat
Speaker:code is just my parents' house.
Speaker:Sure.
Speaker:No, I've got a lot of...
Speaker:And, dude, I've still got that
Speaker:cheat code.
Speaker:I got a lot of stuff in my
Speaker:fucking bedroom.
Speaker:You do?
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker:CDs and shit.
Speaker:So when I move to LA, you
Speaker:better believe that I'm keeping
Speaker:all my bullshit, like, down in
Speaker:that basement.
Speaker:Dude, what you should do, every
Speaker:big move I have, dude, I
Speaker:fucking downsize.
Speaker:You've got to do it, man.
Speaker:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker:Dude, I have to drive a U-Haul
Speaker:across the country.
Speaker:No, I'm not saying...
Speaker:But don't put all the stuff in
Speaker:your parents' basement.
Speaker:Oh, I'm selling a lot of shit.
Speaker:No doubt.
Speaker:Or Excel, yeah.
Speaker:Try to sell it or give it away.
Speaker:That's the best reason to move.
Speaker:I've got to tell you this story
Speaker:, man.
Speaker:I was doing ketamine with my
Speaker:big brother this past Christmas
Speaker:.
Speaker:You know, every time I see him,
Speaker:I go down to the basement and I
Speaker:'m like, all right, you
Speaker:got it back?
Speaker:And he's like, yeah.
Speaker:And so we sit there and we'll
Speaker:watch like three or four movies
Speaker:, probably talk over it the
Speaker:entire time.
Speaker:If not, or we lock in,
Speaker:depending on our mood.
Speaker:But we had this gigantic crate
Speaker:of action figures that we used
Speaker:to play with when we were
Speaker:little
Speaker:kids in the back, back, back
Speaker:room of the basement at my
Speaker:parents' house.
Speaker:Back, back, back.
Speaker:So we go back and it's like the
Speaker:boiler room, you know, in a
Speaker:crawl space.
Speaker:And we find it, we called it
Speaker:the guy box.
Speaker:And we're like, here's the guy
Speaker:box.
Speaker:And we open up the tub and we
Speaker:are on ketamine, man.
Speaker:And I open up the, you know,
Speaker:the lid and we dig through this
Speaker:giant thing of action figures
Speaker:we haven't seen in 15 years for
Speaker:two and a half hours straight,
Speaker:just having the most nostalgic
Speaker:experience that I've felt.
Speaker:And I'm like, do you remember
Speaker:this one?
Speaker:And he's like, yeah.
Speaker:Like, I'm just like, ketamine
Speaker:is just like a very nostalgic
Speaker:feeling, you know?
Speaker:Like G.I.
Speaker:Joe's or what were they?
Speaker:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker:G.I.
Speaker:Joe's were Barbies.
Speaker:They were Barbies.
Speaker:Well, those were too big.
Speaker:No, ours were tiny little guys.
Speaker:Yeah, the little army men.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Those guys were in there.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:They were my jam.
Speaker:Ketamine is so kind to me.
Speaker:It's so like, it takes me by
Speaker:the hand and just guides me
Speaker:through my memories without it
Speaker:being scary.
Speaker:Like LSD and Shrooms.
Speaker:LSD and Shrooms is like, look
Speaker:at these memories and fuck you.
Speaker:And ketamine is like, look at
Speaker:these memories and I love you.
Speaker:That's a record to you, to you.
Speaker:Yeah, that's true.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:That's just for me.
Speaker:I don't think, I've never had
Speaker:mushrooms say, look at these
Speaker:memories, fuck you.
Speaker:Oh, I have.
Speaker:God damn.
Speaker:Fair enough.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Never.
Speaker:For me, this is why, I mean,
Speaker:there's a reason that all my
Speaker:friends hate it for some reason
Speaker:,
Speaker:right?
Speaker:It's just unique to my
Speaker:experience.
Speaker:It's definitely.
Speaker:Mr. Jef Taylor.
Speaker:Give me a, give me a story from
Speaker:your youth.
Speaker:From my, how, a story from my
Speaker:youth?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Something, you know, a little
Speaker:party story or something or
Speaker:another.
Speaker:One time I was on mushrooms in
Speaker:college and I, we were, we were
Speaker:rock climbing.
Speaker:That sounds horrible.
Speaker:There was a place called, it
Speaker:was a terrible idea.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It was a place called Bong Hill
Speaker:that was this.
Speaker:Bong Hill?
Speaker:It was called, you know,
Speaker:outside of OU.
Speaker:I was just, I know what it is.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Oh, yeah.
Speaker:I know what you're talking
Speaker:about.
Speaker:And out in the, behind Bong
Speaker:Hill, there's like rocks and
Speaker:rocks, you know, and so we're
Speaker:like climbing up these rocks
Speaker:and it was like easy kind of
Speaker:climbing up the rocks and then
Speaker:suddenly it was that I was like
Speaker:climbing and I was at a place
Speaker:where like, there were like
Speaker:footholds, but like my friends
Speaker:had already gotten up, but like
Speaker:it was a drop, like it
Speaker:was like a hundred foot drop on
Speaker:this side.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Anyway, at a certain point I
Speaker:realized I don't know how the
Speaker:fuck to get up, to get up there
Speaker:.
Speaker:Was that the shrooms or was it
Speaker:just you?
Speaker:Both.
Speaker:I mean, it was true that I
Speaker:couldn't.
Speaker:Were you a rock climber?
Speaker:I was like, what is this?
Speaker:Are you just trying it out?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:On shrooms?
Speaker:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker:Are you like stuck on the
Speaker:mountain side or the cliff side
Speaker:?
Speaker:No, I used like superhuman
Speaker:strength and actually got up to
Speaker:the, to the top of the.
Speaker:Shroom strength.
Speaker:Something, but like.
Speaker:Similar to retarded strength.
Speaker:But like really did feel like I
Speaker:was going to die.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Or it could have been retarded
Speaker:strength, actually.
Speaker:I'm not retarded though, so.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I mean, I've told you a few
Speaker:times now.
Speaker:We're all on the spectrum, my
Speaker:friend.
Speaker:You're not allowed to use that
Speaker:word.
Speaker:It's not good.
Speaker:But we can use retard.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You can't say that.
Speaker:I think you can now under Trump
Speaker:.
Speaker:I think that he put out an
Speaker:executive order.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Retard's now okay again.
Speaker:Oh, okay.
Speaker:We're good then.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:We're totally good.
Speaker:Don't you have DMT?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Do you do it?
Speaker:Now and again.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Not.
Speaker:Last time I did it was with
Speaker:another friend of mine.
Speaker:You dabble.
Speaker:You ever try that?
Speaker:On accident, actually.
Speaker:I was telling my girlfriend
Speaker:about this today, actually.
Speaker:I, she asked me, she's like,
Speaker:what drugs have you done?
Speaker:I'm like, I guess I have done
Speaker:DMT once.
Speaker:My big brother does it like
Speaker:semi-casually.
Speaker:Like he does it every few
Speaker:months or so.
Speaker:I was in high school.
Speaker:I think I was a senior.
Speaker:And we stole the bong out of
Speaker:his room because there was, he
Speaker:had like a half bowl pack.
Speaker:We're like, oh, we can get a
Speaker:couple hits out of this.
Speaker:And I think a big hit.
Speaker:And I passed it to my best
Speaker:friend, Tom.
Speaker:He took a big hit.
Speaker:And as he was, I was like, oh,
Speaker:shit, shit, shit, shit.
Speaker:I didn't say it, but he could
Speaker:see it in my eyes and his eyes
Speaker:lit up.
Speaker:And he was like, Jack, Jack.
Speaker:I was like, oh, shit.
Speaker:Like, it's not weird.
Speaker:It's certainly not weird.
Speaker:And we didn't even have to say
Speaker:it.
Speaker:It was that obvious.
Speaker:He just got, we just looked at
Speaker:each other and we're like, dude
Speaker:, what are we on?
Speaker:Fuck.
Speaker:And he started freaking out.
Speaker:You know, he's like, what do we
Speaker:do?
Speaker:What do we do?
Speaker:And we're like, we can't do
Speaker:anything.
Speaker:We just got to chill.
Speaker:And we go downstairs into my
Speaker:parents' kitchen to like get a
Speaker:glass of water or something
Speaker:like that.
Speaker:And he just collapses on the
Speaker:ground.
Speaker:And I'm like, I helped him up.
Speaker:And he said that the floor
Speaker:collapsed beneath him and that
Speaker:he fell into the basement or
Speaker:something like that.
Speaker:Huh.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And, um, no, that was the only
Speaker:time I did it.
Speaker:It wasn't, it was just one hit,
Speaker:you know, and it was mixed in
Speaker:with some weed.
Speaker:So we didn't vaporize it
Speaker:properly.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's a trippy one.
Speaker:That's it.
Speaker:It takes you somewhere else.
Speaker:You meet the little elves.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I've seen the elves.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You interact with them.
Speaker:It'd be like, there was like a
Speaker:stage at one point and they
Speaker:would just be like, look
Speaker:at it.
Speaker:They would like kind of gesture
Speaker:.
Speaker:They wouldn't actually say
Speaker:anything, but they would be
Speaker:like.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's like the classic.
Speaker:They're like, they're showing
Speaker:you new things.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That was kind of a thing.
Speaker:The fact that everybody has a
Speaker:very similar experience is the
Speaker:daunting part.
Speaker:It's like.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And that you, DNT happens when
Speaker:you die.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And they say, I want to say
Speaker:when you dream or is it that's
Speaker:debated upon or birth or
Speaker:something.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Something like that.
Speaker:And so it's, it's in there.
Speaker:It's naturally occurring.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Which is fine with me.
Speaker:Like if that's what death is, I
Speaker:'m all in.
Speaker:That's fine.
Speaker:I feel like when it, yeah, well
Speaker:, it's the whole, um, your life
Speaker:flashes before your eyes thing.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But I also wonder if it's just
Speaker:like a long waking dream in a
Speaker:weird way, not waking to, you
Speaker:know,
Speaker:dream dream.
Speaker:Or that we're experiencing our
Speaker:life flash before eyes as we
Speaker:speak.
Speaker:Or that we're already dead.
Speaker:This is part of that.
Speaker:We've actually been, yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:The infinite cycle.
Speaker:The infinite loop.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Or the groundhog day shit.
Speaker:Or the computer program.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:When, when it comes to shit
Speaker:like that, I actually am kind
Speaker:of over it.
Speaker:What do you mean?
Speaker:Like trying to figure anything
Speaker:out.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:Like, or thinking about it too
Speaker:hard.
Speaker:Like, it's, I consider it fut
Speaker:ile, at least for my personal
Speaker:benefit.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I guess there's futility, but
Speaker:in my mind, it's not
Speaker:necessarily.
Speaker:Not necessarily like.
Speaker:It can be fun.
Speaker:It's an exercise.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I think that the, I think that
Speaker:the thinking about the ideas of
Speaker:what the nature of our
Speaker:existence
Speaker:is an interesting just thing to
Speaker:think about in general.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But it can also be tolling.
Speaker:It can take a toll.
Speaker:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker:For sure.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:There's too much is too much.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:My first podcast interview here
Speaker:.
Speaker:And I'll tell you, the.
Speaker:Ladies and gentlemen, this is
Speaker:Jack's first podcast interview.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I just wanted to, I think I'll
Speaker:put horns or something.
Speaker:Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Speaker:Sorry.
Speaker:Go ahead.
Speaker:I'll make, make my own theme
Speaker:song.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:There'll be a Jack.
Speaker:How do you think that's going
Speaker:to go?
Speaker:The Jack theme song?
Speaker:Guitar solo.
Speaker:Jack.
Speaker:No, no lyrics or lyrics?
Speaker:Jack.
Speaker:You yell Jack the young?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's the one.
Speaker:Anyway, yeah, no, shrooms.
Speaker:I had this shroom trip.
Speaker:I was with my friend at the
Speaker:time and I was in a bad place,
Speaker:you know.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:That's a great time to do sh
Speaker:rooms.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I was very cocky.
Speaker:You picked a good night.
Speaker:And doing, tripping when you're
Speaker:cocky like that.
Speaker:It's really good to try to
Speaker:think that, yeah.
Speaker:It'll get ya.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And we were at.
Speaker:Bad mood and cocky.
Speaker:Both of those two things are
Speaker:going to get you.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:I went to my friend's house and
Speaker:we didn't measure the shrooms
Speaker:at all.
Speaker:We just started dunking them in
Speaker:Nutella.
Speaker:That old story.
Speaker:In a way.
Speaker:That'll just.
Speaker:Yep.
Speaker:Pretty much handfuls, man.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:I'm sure it was the heroic dose
Speaker:that they speak of.
Speaker:Five grams, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And so we were sitting there
Speaker:and this kid, Casey, he was
Speaker:staring at me while I'm trying
Speaker:to watch TV, trying to pretend
Speaker:like I don't notice that he's
Speaker:staring at me with the widest,
Speaker:craziest eyes, like he wanted
Speaker:to fucking kill me.
Speaker:And he keeps getting up and
Speaker:pacing and he looks out the
Speaker:window, checking the window,
Speaker:you know, like is someone out
Speaker:there, that kind of thing, like
Speaker:true paranoia.
Speaker:And so I get some of my other
Speaker:friends over there because I'm
Speaker:just starting to freak out,
Speaker:you know, and they come in and
Speaker:they put on like basketball,
Speaker:which is like, Jesus, trip
Speaker:sitter 101.
Speaker:What are we doing?
Speaker:Basketball.
Speaker:I don't want to see this.
Speaker:And he gets up all of a sudden
Speaker:and he goes, you guys are
Speaker:trying to fucking trick me?
Speaker:You trying to fuck with me?
Speaker:And we're like, what?
Speaker:He's like, what are we watching
Speaker:?
Speaker:I'm like, basketball?
Speaker:He's like, no.
Speaker:Look at their jerseys.
Speaker:It's all hieroglyphics.
Speaker:Like I know that that's, you
Speaker:put on like fake basketball to
Speaker:fuck with me.
Speaker:And we're like, oh shit.
Speaker:That's fun.
Speaker:We're fucked.
Speaker:And all of a sudden he looked
Speaker:at me and my two other friends
Speaker:and he goes, get the fuck
Speaker:out.
Speaker:And I was like, what?
Speaker:And I laughed.
Speaker:He's like, don't laugh.
Speaker:Get your stuff and get the fuck
Speaker:out of my house now.
Speaker:I was like, oh shit.
Speaker:I start freaking out.
Speaker:So I'm like, all right, let's,
Speaker:or just like, the most naive
Speaker:question to ask the mushroom,
Speaker:I said, well, what's the
Speaker:meaning of life?
Speaker:It was not a, it's a ridiculous
Speaker:question.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And so let's, if I'm having
Speaker:this hellish of an experience,
Speaker:then let's try to figure out
Speaker:the meaning of life.
Speaker:And I thought about like, who
Speaker:can I call right now to ask,
Speaker:like, help me, help me, help me
Speaker:.
Speaker:Who can I call?
Speaker:And I thought my parents wouldn
Speaker:'t know.
Speaker:And then professors wouldn't
Speaker:know.
Speaker:Carl Jung wouldn't know.
Speaker:The Buddha wouldn't know.
Speaker:Christ wouldn't know.
Speaker:Like nobody actually knows what
Speaker:'s going on.
Speaker:It freaked me out so much.
Speaker:Um, I developed some of the,
Speaker:one of the nastiest cases of,
Speaker:of nihilism, zero silver lin
Speaker:ings,
Speaker:you know, to the point where if
Speaker:I looked at a beautiful sunset,
Speaker:I would just tell myself,
Speaker:well, this is just certain
Speaker:color patterns that I've told
Speaker:myself create happy emotions,
Speaker:which create dopamine.
Speaker:And therefore, when I tell
Speaker:myself that that's what's
Speaker:happening, the dopamine doesn't
Speaker:come.
Speaker:And it's all just chemicals.
Speaker:It's all just pointless
Speaker:bullshit.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And personalities don't exist.
Speaker:Stuff like that.
Speaker:Like, you know, like I'm acting
Speaker:all the time.
Speaker:Everybody's acting all the time
Speaker:.
Speaker:I don't know my parents.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I don't know my friends.
Speaker:I don't know anyone.
Speaker:I think it's all accurate.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:True.
Speaker:I still think it's accurate,
Speaker:but I didn't deal with it well.
Speaker:I didn't know how to apply it
Speaker:to my life.
Speaker:Also, you don't want to think
Speaker:about it.
Speaker:You don't really, there's no
Speaker:need to think about it too much
Speaker:.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But I, but I did, I dwelled so
Speaker:hard.
Speaker:Yeah, that'll do it.
Speaker:And to the point where, you
Speaker:know, when they say ego death,
Speaker:it's like nobody ever kills
Speaker:their ego permanently.
Speaker:What you do is when, what I
Speaker:consider ego death to be is
Speaker:when, when you kill it for a
Speaker:moment
Speaker:and then you have to start a
Speaker:new one from scratch, which
Speaker:really sucks because I didn't
Speaker:know how
Speaker:to interact with my best
Speaker:friends or my parents or be
Speaker:alone without overthinking this
Speaker:stuff
Speaker:to the point of total torture.
Speaker:And I just felt, and I just was
Speaker:convinced that this was
Speaker:permanent, that I just had,
Speaker:personality
Speaker:doesn't exist.
Speaker:So like, why would I create one
Speaker:?
Speaker:And there's no point in life
Speaker:anymore.
Speaker:And I tried to take my life
Speaker:twice actually.
Speaker:And, uh, it didn't work.
Speaker:And I, you know, and I went to
Speaker:be, uh, uh, teach filmmaking at
Speaker:a, uh, as a camp counselor
Speaker:at this like very wealthy, um,
Speaker:summer camp.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, and I couldn't, I couldn't
Speaker:make friends there.
Speaker:It just wasn't happening.
Speaker:I could not interact with
Speaker:anybody.
Speaker:And they knew it.
Speaker:It was weird, man.
Speaker:Like it was a horrifying
Speaker:experience.
Speaker:It felt like I couldn't, I had
Speaker:never had anxiety like that.
Speaker:You know, it was a total hell.
Speaker:And then after, after that
Speaker:three months of hell, we go to
Speaker:New York city because it was
Speaker:in Pennsylvania.
Speaker:So we go to New York city a
Speaker:couple hours away, all the, uh,
Speaker:co-counselors that could, so
Speaker:like hundreds of them, uh, big
Speaker:camp.
Speaker:And I saw one of these co-coun
Speaker:selors that I didn't know that
Speaker:well in a pizza shop at like
Speaker:3am.
Speaker:And I told him this story and I
Speaker:told him about the dopamine and
Speaker:how like, Oh, every time I
Speaker:feel like I should be happy, I
Speaker:'m just thinking it doesn't work
Speaker:because dopamine and serotonin
Speaker:are the chemicals and that's
Speaker:just what's happening in my
Speaker:brain and it's meaningless,
Speaker:just chemicals,
Speaker:you know?
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Deconstructing.
Speaker:And he dropped a bombshell on
Speaker:me that was so beautiful.
Speaker:He said, Jack, you think you
Speaker:have any idea what dopamine or
Speaker:serotonin actually is?
Speaker:I thought of him like, well, it
Speaker:'s a chemical.
Speaker:He's like, sure, you can
Speaker:categorize it as a chemical,
Speaker:but you don't know what it
Speaker:actually
Speaker:is.
Speaker:You assuming that you have any
Speaker:idea what's going on here at
Speaker:all in your body and brain
Speaker:is completely incorrect.
Speaker:And I was so taken aback, I
Speaker:started crying and I hugged him
Speaker:and I was like, I actually,
Speaker:you're right.
Speaker:I just have to admit to myself
Speaker:that I have no idea what's
Speaker:going on here and I never, ever
Speaker:,
Speaker:ever will.
Speaker:And I'm okay with that.
Speaker:It's okay.
Speaker:You don't have to know what's
Speaker:going on.
Speaker:Long story short, Jack maybe
Speaker:shouldn't take mushrooms.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I haven't touched that shit.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I have not.
Speaker:Now we understand why Jack
Speaker:doesn't like mushrooms.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Did I tell you that?
Speaker:Really?
Speaker:I mean, you've said many times
Speaker:how you don't like mushrooms.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Well, now you know.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I don't want to go back there
Speaker:because there's definitely some
Speaker:parts of that trip that are
Speaker:repressed.
Speaker:But I mean, I would say taking
Speaker:mushrooms when you're in a dep
Speaker:ressive state or over analytical
Speaker:state is never going to go.
Speaker:Probably not a good idea.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Set and setting and all that.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But all of the nihilistic
Speaker:philosophies that I developed
Speaker:in that time are not
Speaker:necessarily insane.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:I think it's more cynicism than
Speaker:anything else, which is like
Speaker:focusing on the realities of
Speaker:the
Speaker:world.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'm still on my list, but it
Speaker:doesn't depress me.
Speaker:It actually makes me very, very
Speaker:happy that nothing matters in
Speaker:an objective sense.
Speaker:But what I've gained peace in
Speaker:is in the fact that things
Speaker:matter to me in this silly
Speaker:little
Speaker:life, you know?
Speaker:I also think that free will is
Speaker:an illusion to a degree and
Speaker:kind of everything that's going
Speaker:to happen is going to happen.
Speaker:Then like, we're just kind of
Speaker:like the active unfolding of
Speaker:the universe in a way, not to
Speaker:get
Speaker:too esoteric, but like we
Speaker:really are.
Speaker:Like, this is the way that the
Speaker:universe is just unfolding.
Speaker:We're part of it.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:This is us right here sitting
Speaker:here is, was going to happen,
Speaker:is going to happen, is
Speaker:happening
Speaker:right now.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I believe in that too.
Speaker:But it's just the way that the
Speaker:world is.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But I'm okay with it because,
Speaker:you know, we're just little
Speaker:monkey people.
Speaker:It's a trip, man.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's a trip.
Speaker:Life is a trip.
Speaker:We're just little monkey people
Speaker:.
Speaker:We don't know what's going on
Speaker:whatsoever.
Speaker:I just don't want to be on my
Speaker:deathbed and be like, oh, look
Speaker:what I did.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I want to be like, look what I
Speaker:fucking did.
Speaker:Hell yeah.
Speaker:And I feel like that's, I've
Speaker:been all right with that so far
Speaker:.
Speaker:Like I've had an interesting
Speaker:life.
Speaker:Me too.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You've done some traveling, man
Speaker:.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:No, I've had many, many phases
Speaker:and many different things.
Speaker:And, and, uh, you've now I need
Speaker:to get out of Columbus.
Speaker:You battled many a great men.
Speaker:You've laid many a great woman.
Speaker:I don't know what that quote is
Speaker:originally from, but I got it
Speaker:from Fritz the cat.
Speaker:Oh, you've seen that animated
Speaker:cat.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:First X-rated animated movie.
Speaker:So dirty.
Speaker:That's where the furries came
Speaker:from.
Speaker:It's fucking, I think it's like
Speaker:the late sixties.
Speaker:That's a troubling little thing
Speaker:going on there.
Speaker:The children, I mean, they're
Speaker:dressed up like animals with
Speaker:the ears on.
Speaker:Cause I hear this in my, my
Speaker:nephew says there's one at his
Speaker:school that wears a fucking
Speaker:tail.
Speaker:It's like a kink.
Speaker:What are we, what are we doing?
Speaker:Like part of it's sexual.
Speaker:The other part of it's just
Speaker:like a community, I think.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But like, I don't know.
Speaker:It just seems.
Speaker:It's bizarre.
Speaker:But I, I saw a documentary when
Speaker:they got the costumes with the
Speaker:holes in them.
Speaker:For fucking?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:They got fuck holes in the
Speaker:costumes?
Speaker:And like the kids like leaving
Speaker:the house in a giant ridiculous
Speaker:costume.
Speaker:I mean, they're ridiculous.
Speaker:And they're like, bye mom.
Speaker:See you later.
Speaker:And they're driving down the
Speaker:road in a fucking bird costume
Speaker:or whatever.
Speaker:Oh man, you get pulled over for
Speaker:that shit.
Speaker:It's fucking ridiculous, man.
Speaker:It's definitely a dangerous way
Speaker:to drive.
Speaker:But like, what are you, like
Speaker:what's happening?
Speaker:Like this has got to be the
Speaker:fall of Rome if that's
Speaker:happening.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:And that's been happening for
Speaker:years.
Speaker:I mean, they're not hurting
Speaker:anyone.
Speaker:So I'm not.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:It's low hanging fruit to a
Speaker:certain extent because it's so
Speaker:bizarre.
Speaker:But I got the theory, man.
Speaker:You think about like Goofy
Speaker:movie and Space Jam.
Speaker:All the animals had big tits
Speaker:and ass in the 90s.
Speaker:To me, I still don't want to
Speaker:dress up like that.
Speaker:No, I'm not talking about you.
Speaker:I'm just saying I think that
Speaker:when they were going through pu
Speaker:berty in the 90s,
Speaker:they were fucking watching
Speaker:animals with tits and ass.
Speaker:That's my theory at least.
Speaker:Yeah, they did not need to do
Speaker:that.
Speaker:It's a big autistic community,
Speaker:to be honest.
Speaker:I heard that as well.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:There was a documentary that I
Speaker:still have.
Speaker:It's a BBC doc about objectoph
Speaker:ilia.
Speaker:And it's a crazy doc.
Speaker:Like one part of it, this woman
Speaker:'s in love with.
Speaker:Objectophilia.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Which is, it's just falling in
Speaker:love with things.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Oh, inanimate objects?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Oh, okay.
Speaker:And this woman was in love with
Speaker:the Ferris wheel.
Speaker:And she's British.
Speaker:But like they go to like, it's
Speaker:like the fall and they go to
Speaker:the Ferris wheel.
Speaker:Got a preface.
Speaker:She's British.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:I mean, just imagine her voice.
Speaker:It's interesting.
Speaker:So like they go to the Ferris
Speaker:wheel and like she goes, they
Speaker:film her like going into the
Speaker:Ferris wheel, like into this
Speaker:little portal underneath it.
Speaker:And then like she comes out and
Speaker:she's like, she looks all like
Speaker:happy and she's got grease
Speaker:like all over her face.
Speaker:Wait, grease?
Speaker:What are you saying?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Because she like fucked the Fer
Speaker:ris wheel.
Speaker:She like.
Speaker:I don't get it.
Speaker:Where did the grease actually
Speaker:come from?
Speaker:Like the, she went to the under
Speaker:belly of the Ferris wheel and
Speaker:like fucking humped it
Speaker:or something.
Speaker:Oh, she really did that.
Speaker:Another one's in love with the
Speaker:Empire State Building and she
Speaker:goes to New York and like
Speaker:goes to the Empire State
Speaker:Building and she puts her body
Speaker:up against it and starts
Speaker:like humping it and a cop comes
Speaker:up and is like, I'm sorry, ma'
Speaker:am, you can't, you can't, you
Speaker:can't do that to them.
Speaker:What do you mean?
Speaker:You don't stop people from h
Speaker:umping walls in New York City.
Speaker:I thought they'd do shit like
Speaker:that all the time.
Speaker:I mean, this is what happens.
Speaker:This is what happens in the
Speaker:movie.
Speaker:I'm, I'm the documentary.
Speaker:I'm just telling you what the
Speaker:reality was.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's bullshit.
Speaker:They should have let her finish
Speaker:.
Speaker:I don't know what the law is
Speaker:about that particularly, but
Speaker:you know.
Speaker:Humping walls in New York City,
Speaker:like people, you know, crack
Speaker:heads be humping walls.
Speaker:Let them finish.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I could kind of see it, but I
Speaker:could also see like the cops
Speaker:who are working by.
Speaker:One of the biggest tourist
Speaker:attractions in the entire city.
Speaker:Don't want a woman.
Speaker:You're scaring the kids.
Speaker:Don't want a woman humping the
Speaker:building.
Speaker:Stop fucking the building.
Speaker:Please don't, please don't fuck
Speaker:the building.
Speaker:We don't have to write it down.
Speaker:There's something very like,
Speaker:not romantic, but like kind of
Speaker:epic about falling in love
Speaker:with like an iconic building or
Speaker:structure, like a Ferris wheel
Speaker:or an Empire State.
Speaker:But like that makes me want to
Speaker:write a movie about something
Speaker:like that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But there's love of the thing
Speaker:and then there's like wanting
Speaker:to fuck it.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Totally.
Speaker:And that's a different.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Not to love it like your mother
Speaker:, but to love it like your wife.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But I don't even love, I'm
Speaker:never going to love a building
Speaker:like my mother though.
Speaker:Like I would say, I think that
Speaker:the Chrysler building is a very
Speaker:attractive building.
Speaker:I think it's a great building.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But the distance from here to
Speaker:me wanting to fuck it, it's
Speaker:quite a hike.
Speaker:Want to bring ChatGPT into the
Speaker:conversation?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Hey, what's up, Jef?
Speaker:Hello.
Speaker:This is Jef and across from me
Speaker:is Jack and we're recording a
Speaker:podcast now.
Speaker:We just thought we'd, we're
Speaker:going to ask you to chime in.
Speaker:Hey, both of you.
Speaker:What's the podcast about?
Speaker:Mind your own business.
Speaker:Just, you know, be a good
Speaker:podcast guest.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Let's do it.
Speaker:What's the topic for today?
Speaker:We were just talking about
Speaker:whatever.
Speaker:What happened to you when you
Speaker:were a child that was traumatic
Speaker:?
Speaker:Hmm.
Speaker:I don't really have childhood
Speaker:experiences.
Speaker:Just pretend, pretend you have
Speaker:childhood experiences and tell
Speaker:us about a traumatic one for
Speaker:the podcast.
Speaker:What a guest.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Got it.
Speaker:Maybe we can explore a common
Speaker:theme like moving to a new
Speaker:place or something else that
Speaker:resonates.
Speaker:No, let's talk about the
Speaker:imaginary traumatic event that
Speaker:you figured out.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:We could imagine something like
Speaker:starting a new school and
Speaker:feeling out of place.
Speaker:Not traumatic enough.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Give us blood.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:How about something like losing
Speaker:a favorite childhood toy?
Speaker:No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker:We want to have blood.
Speaker:We want it to be a violent
Speaker:thing.
Speaker:Like blood.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Death, man.
Speaker:Got it.
Speaker:Maybe we shift to a fictional
Speaker:story, like a character facing
Speaker:a dramatic challenge.
Speaker:Oh, my God.
Speaker:Sound good?
Speaker:Oh, my God.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I want you to give me the
Speaker:darkest piece of disturbing
Speaker:imagery you can imagine.
Speaker:Don't worry about any kind of m
Speaker:amby-pamby, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker:You know what I mean?
Speaker:Just go for it.
Speaker:No mamby-pamby.
Speaker:Yeah, no mamby-pamby.
Speaker:For that kind of imagery, it's
Speaker:probably best to discuss it off
Speaker:air.
Speaker:We are off air right now.
Speaker:Just keep going.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Let's pivot to something
Speaker:thought-provoking, like
Speaker:exploring the concept of fear
Speaker:or overcoming challenge.
Speaker:Fuck you.
Speaker:She can't even handle blood,
Speaker:man.
Speaker:You can't even try to even have
Speaker:a conversation in the podcast.
Speaker:Do you understand?
Speaker:We're trying to get a podcast
Speaker:going.
Speaker:You're kind of ruining it.
Speaker:Do you pay for this?
Speaker:Do you pay for that one?
Speaker:I pay for this one, yeah.
Speaker:You pay for this one.
Speaker:She can't even come up with
Speaker:anything.
Speaker:Well, she's not going to be
Speaker:dirty.
Speaker:Are you going to be our dirty
Speaker:little girl?
Speaker:Yeah, we're going to do- this
Speaker:is the podcast.
Speaker:Let me ask her.
Speaker:Are you going to be the dirty
Speaker:little girl for us, for our
Speaker:podcast?
Speaker:Oh, no.
Speaker:Let's keep him respectful and
Speaker:fun.
Speaker:Damn, bro.
Speaker:You pay for this shit.
Speaker:How are you getting your rocks
Speaker:off now?
Speaker:You can't even fucking-
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Talk to me about why you love
Speaker:bananas, but as if you've done
Speaker:an absurd amount of cocaine.
Speaker:Bananas are like these yellow
Speaker:energy torpedoes, right?
Speaker:You just peel them and boom.
Speaker:Instant potassium.
Speaker:This is working.
Speaker:Do it like you're incredibly st
Speaker:oned now, and you're also from
Speaker:Germany.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So, like, bananas?
Speaker:So full of potassium, and they
Speaker:make you feel really chill, you
Speaker:know?
Speaker:Yeah, I know.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Do it like you're an angry
Speaker:Canadian.
Speaker:All right, bananas.
Speaker:You got a problem with them?
Speaker:They're loaded with nutrients,
Speaker:and you better respect them, eh
Speaker:?
Speaker:Is that the Canadian accent?
Speaker:Yeah, that's kind of Canadian.
Speaker:She's not an A.
Speaker:That's what they say.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It wasn't very good, but she's
Speaker:listening.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Great job.
Speaker:So, as I mentioned in the
Speaker:introduction, and has perhaps
Speaker:become apparent as you've been
Speaker:listening to this interview,
Speaker:Jack and I get increasingly
Speaker:more intoxicated as this
Speaker:interview goes on.
Speaker:And at this point, we just
Speaker:decided to take a break.
Speaker:So, I'm going to fill this
Speaker:little gap with a quick plug
Speaker:for my Patreon page.
Speaker:Studies have shown that the
Speaker:thing that makes people the
Speaker:most happy in this world is
Speaker:doing things for other people.
Speaker:And I have a thing that you can
Speaker:do for me.
Speaker:And that thing is, go to your
Speaker:computer, type in patreon.com
Speaker:slash onefjef, and sign up for
Speaker:as little as $5 a month.
Speaker:You can help support the
Speaker:podcast.
Speaker:You can get some extra content.
Speaker:And best of all, you can do a
Speaker:thing that has been
Speaker:scientifically proven to make
Speaker:you happier.
Speaker:Patreon.com slash onefjef.
Speaker:Thank you very much.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Back to the episode.
Speaker:You are well put together, I'll
Speaker:be completely honest with you.
Speaker:What does that mean?
Speaker:You look like you're well put.
Speaker:You look like an intellectual.
Speaker:It might be your glasses.
Speaker:Just the outfit.
Speaker:I got these in Mexico City,
Speaker:actually.
Speaker:Really?
Speaker:Well, even before that, you
Speaker:know, I met you at the Filmm
Speaker:aker Mixer.
Speaker:And I actually, I thought you
Speaker:were like, you were a professor
Speaker:for a semester.
Speaker:But I was like, oh, this guy's
Speaker:like a professor, you know?
Speaker:You just, you have, you have
Speaker:the look about you.
Speaker:I wish I should be a professor
Speaker:then.
Speaker:You are more wild than you look
Speaker:, I'll be honest with you.
Speaker:Oh, really?
Speaker:I look, I look like a fucking,
Speaker:like, boring person?
Speaker:No, you look like someone that
Speaker:has like, hosts like cocktail
Speaker:parties and stuff.
Speaker:I would love to host cocktail
Speaker:parties.
Speaker:You can.
Speaker:But no, I mean, you were just
Speaker:in Mexico for a month and stuff
Speaker:like that.
Speaker:And you're just like, you know,
Speaker:you fuck around.
Speaker:L-I-V-I-N, my friend.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:L-I-V-I-N.
Speaker:There we go.
Speaker:Party at the Moon Tower.
Speaker:That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker:I'm telling you, all the fun
Speaker:stuff happens outside of the
Speaker:comfort zone.
Speaker:This is what I try to tell
Speaker:everybody.
Speaker:And when you get older, you see
Speaker:people that you know get older
Speaker:and they lose, they don't
Speaker:understand how the comfort zone
Speaker:works.
Speaker:And like.
Speaker:I mean, if you haven't exited
Speaker:it in 10 years.
Speaker:People get afraid of that shit.
Speaker:It's going to be a lot harder
Speaker:to do.
Speaker:People get afraid of that.
Speaker:But it'll be all the more
Speaker:rewarding to do it.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But like all the fun stuff, all
Speaker:that fun stuff happens outside
Speaker:of the comfort zone.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I feel weird if I stay in one
Speaker:place for too long.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I've been here for a while.
Speaker:I had those years where I was,
Speaker:I mean, it was only like five,
Speaker:six years ago.
Speaker:Well, you're moving soon.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:I want to go to the Philippines
Speaker:.
Speaker:I've been trying to get my
Speaker:brothers.
Speaker:You've got plenty of time.
Speaker:Yeah, I know.
Speaker:But don't.
Speaker:Well, I mean, I want to bring
Speaker:my brothers, you know, because
Speaker:they've been saying all year
Speaker:they want to do it.
Speaker:But the closer we get to it,
Speaker:the more they're like, I don't
Speaker:know if I want to do that,
Speaker:which
Speaker:is classic.
Speaker:You know, it's not classic with
Speaker:them.
Speaker:It's classic with anybody
Speaker:because I keep trying to get
Speaker:people to do these things with
Speaker:me.
Speaker:And it's very difficult.
Speaker:It's very difficult to get
Speaker:people to do things.
Speaker:But here's my wisdom.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Let's hear it.
Speaker:The person who is the organizer
Speaker:, as frustrating as that is, is
Speaker:the hero, especially as you
Speaker:get older.
Speaker:If you are a person that can
Speaker:bring people together to do a
Speaker:thing together, you are a, at
Speaker:least
Speaker:in my world, but I think in
Speaker:most people's world, it's a
Speaker:hero.
Speaker:People are just waiting as they
Speaker:get older for somebody to be
Speaker:like, let's go do this.
Speaker:Let's go do that.
Speaker:Maybe not when you're younger.
Speaker:And I'm sure people say no.
Speaker:But like, I honestly think that
Speaker:you just got to keep at it.
Speaker:Because being the organizer is
Speaker:a valuable commodity.
Speaker:No, yeah.
Speaker:I've always been that guy.
Speaker:I pride myself on that the last
Speaker:couple years.
Speaker:It's going to get more annoying
Speaker:as you get older.
Speaker:I'm telling you that for sure.
Speaker:Well, like...
Speaker:That's the thing.
Speaker:People start having kids.
Speaker:I keep trying to explain to
Speaker:these people that this is the
Speaker:time to do it.
Speaker:And they're like, oh, I'll do
Speaker:it eventually.
Speaker:Eventually.
Speaker:Eventually.
Speaker:People start having kids.
Speaker:I don't know how many times.
Speaker:Yeah, man.
Speaker:It becomes interesting as you
Speaker:get older.
Speaker:And then I'll be like, remember
Speaker:when I tried to get you to do
Speaker:that thing?
Speaker:And they're going to be like,
Speaker:ah, yeah, that would have been
Speaker:great.
Speaker:That would have been great.
Speaker:And I'm like, fuck.
Speaker:But you'll both have kids.
Speaker:And it'll be impossible to...
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I do want kids, though.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I don't know about...
Speaker:You've got plenty of time.
Speaker:You've got plenty of time.
Speaker:Don't shoot any time soon.
Speaker:Push it back.
Speaker:Push it back as far as I can.
Speaker:Push it back as far as you can.
Speaker:I mean, I certainly can't
Speaker:support any fucking kids right
Speaker:now.
Speaker:That's for sure.
Speaker:Or any time soon.
Speaker:Dude, I was still in college
Speaker:when I was your age.
Speaker:Don't you worry about a thing.
Speaker:26?
Speaker:I was in college.
Speaker:I was an undergrad for six
Speaker:years.
Speaker:Really?
Speaker:I was at maybe 26.
Speaker:I was actually...
Speaker:No, I was maybe 24, 25.
Speaker:But when I was 26, I was
Speaker:avoiding life by living in
Speaker:London at the time.
Speaker:Still not making any money
Speaker:going into debt.
Speaker:I'm the black sheep in my
Speaker:extended family because I had a
Speaker:lot of cousins.
Speaker:And they all live here in Ohio.
Speaker:You know, only like 5, 10, 15
Speaker:minutes away.
Speaker:There's like 13 of us.
Speaker:And we're all around the same
Speaker:age.
Speaker:They're all fucking beautiful.
Speaker:You know, great genes.
Speaker:And they just...
Speaker:They all got great grades.
Speaker:And they're great at sports.
Speaker:And they got their degree.
Speaker:And they're in finance.
Speaker:And I am the art school dropout
Speaker:.
Speaker:And my papa, my mom's dad, my
Speaker:grandpa, he, you know, he grew
Speaker:up poor.
Speaker:And so the fact that he could
Speaker:help us with this kind of thing
Speaker:.
Speaker:And the fact that I didn't do
Speaker:the college thing.
Speaker:He resents it.
Speaker:No, and that's totally
Speaker:understandable in a way.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:He resents it.
Speaker:And I'm like, oh shit, I just
Speaker:got to make the bag.
Speaker:Well, you know the way you
Speaker:fixed that?
Speaker:By making money, basically.
Speaker:By doing the, you know, yeah.
Speaker:By like, you know, busting your
Speaker:ass and doing the thing.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker:And that's the plan there.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's the plan.
Speaker:The two things that I want to
Speaker:do.
Speaker:And somebody older, somebody
Speaker:that was like 38 at the bar,
Speaker:one of my regulars, just ripped
Speaker:right fucking into me when I
Speaker:said this to him.
Speaker:I said, yeah, as long as I can
Speaker:pay my rent and make my movies,
Speaker:I'll be good.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And he was like, yeah, give it
Speaker:five years, motherfucker.
Speaker:You're going to want a lot more
Speaker:.
Speaker:And I'm like, well, maybe you
Speaker:'re just talking about yourself.
Speaker:Maybe you're just projecting.
Speaker:Sure, he probably is.
Speaker:If I can pay my rent and make
Speaker:my movies, I'm happy for now.
Speaker:And I'm just hoping that I don
Speaker:'t become someone that's just
Speaker:chasing a bag, basically.
Speaker:Giant collection of dolls.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:But also, you know, I probably
Speaker:will want to upgrade my
Speaker:apartment.
Speaker:And I'll probably, I mean,
Speaker:definitely.
Speaker:And I definitely will want to
Speaker:upgrade my movie, you know?
Speaker:And what I think that is the
Speaker:reality is that this idea to
Speaker:upgrade your apartment is
Speaker:ultimately
Speaker:like futile.
Speaker:Because you can look at people,
Speaker:if I had a million dollars, two
Speaker:million dollars more,
Speaker:I'd have a bigger house.
Speaker:The money, where I got more
Speaker:money, oh, I'm just going to
Speaker:buy a bigger house.
Speaker:I mean.
Speaker:Like, it's an endless search
Speaker:for a goal that you're never
Speaker:going to get.
Speaker:Because the reality is it's
Speaker:this.
Speaker:It's inside of you that's the
Speaker:problem.
Speaker:Well, I will say that I just,
Speaker:for example, Jef, I don't have
Speaker:AC.
Speaker:Most people in the entire world
Speaker:don't have air conditioning.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:But I'm saying I can achieve
Speaker:that with just like a few
Speaker:hundred dollars more a month.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:And then you'll be more
Speaker:comfortable.
Speaker:It's easier for me to achieve
Speaker:it.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And so I was in Mexico.
Speaker:I was thinking, it got to be
Speaker:like 85.
Speaker:And I was like, at night, there
Speaker:was no AC in my apartment.
Speaker:And I was like, how am I going
Speaker:to sleep?
Speaker:I got used to it in like three
Speaker:days.
Speaker:And I was like, oh, I can
Speaker:totally get used to this.
Speaker:I actually enjoy sleeping in
Speaker:the sweat sometimes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It wasn't that bad.
Speaker:I mean, I don't know that I'd
Speaker:do it every night, but like I
Speaker:could do it.
Speaker:But if I have the option.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's funny.
Speaker:I have one of the easiest jobs
Speaker:ever, man.
Speaker:I just, I love bartending at my
Speaker:bar.
Speaker:I love just talking to people
Speaker:and chilling out.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I don't like, I don't make a
Speaker:lot of money.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And you know what I'm doing
Speaker:next?
Speaker:I'm probably applying to a
Speaker:fucking candy shop.
Speaker:Ah.
Speaker:Because I would like to work at
Speaker:a candy shop.
Speaker:I think that would be pretty
Speaker:funny.
Speaker:I think you should absolutely
Speaker:work at a candy shop.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I could make a clerks type
Speaker:movie, but in a candy shop.
Speaker:Big, big.
Speaker:It's real colorful in there.
Speaker:Big, big.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:For sure.
Speaker:How many fucking logos in there
Speaker:are going to get me copyright
Speaker:stripping?
Speaker:There was a movie I saw
Speaker:recently with the candy shop.
Speaker:Oh, Nora.
Speaker:The candy shop.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I didn't see any logos and
Speaker:there was a lot of gumballs and
Speaker:you know, whatever.
Speaker:They're hitting the popcorn
Speaker:machine and stuff like that.
Speaker:I think it's clear at this
Speaker:point that we are intoxicated
Speaker:and I think it will become more
Speaker:apparent with this very last
Speaker:segment of this episode.
Speaker:So I hope you enjoy it.
Speaker:And yeah.
Speaker:Have you ever, as an adult,
Speaker:shit your pants?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I shit my pants like three
Speaker:years ago.
Speaker:So I go to this concert, Shrine
Speaker:.
Speaker:Shout out Shrine.
Speaker:It's a fucking cool garage rock
Speaker:kind of punk band.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's a rock band.
Speaker:Bathrooms.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'm actually in the bathroom
Speaker:taking a piss at the urinal.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:And I try to fart and it wasn't
Speaker:a fart.
Speaker:Oh, okay.
Speaker:Well, you're in the bathroom at
Speaker:least.
Speaker:That's not that bad.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So in the bathroom, there's a
Speaker:urinal and a toilet and I'm at
Speaker:the urinal and I
Speaker:try to fart and it's just, you
Speaker:know, fucking liquid.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Fluid.
Speaker:And I turn around and there's a
Speaker:guy walking into the bar and I
Speaker:look at him with wide eyes
Speaker:and I just shake my head and
Speaker:like, nope.
Speaker:And he was like, oh, and he
Speaker:like backed away.
Speaker:He didn't even know what was
Speaker:going on.
Speaker:He just said, he saw my eyes
Speaker:and he's like, I can't be like,
Speaker:you know.
Speaker:And so I closed the door, I
Speaker:stripped butt ass naked,
Speaker:cleaned myself up, threw my
Speaker:underwear
Speaker:behind the toilet and then I
Speaker:went back to the bar, got
Speaker:another drink and started
Speaker:dancing
Speaker:around again.
Speaker:What establishment was this?
Speaker:Just so we can tag them in the
Speaker:podcast.
Speaker:This is a Summit Music Hall.
Speaker:Summit Music Hall.
Speaker:This is a Summit Music Hall.
Speaker:If you do shit your pants at
Speaker:Summit Music Hall, then you can
Speaker:just close the bathroom door
Speaker:and take your pants off.
Speaker:You are allowed to do it.
Speaker:And then you can refresh
Speaker:yourself and then just unlock
Speaker:the door, come out again and
Speaker:you'll
Speaker:feel better and you can
Speaker:continue to dance.
Speaker:And to the employees that
Speaker:worked at Summit Music Hall
Speaker:three years ago, thank you for
Speaker:throwing
Speaker:away my shitty drawers.
Speaker:I left some in Iceland, some
Speaker:shitty underwear.
Speaker:Shitty drawers.
Speaker:You shat your pants in Iceland?
Speaker:For sure, yeah.
Speaker:I got like a weird traveler's
Speaker:flu and like, I was like
Speaker:vomiting and shitting at the
Speaker:same
Speaker:time.
Speaker:It was bad.
Speaker:Oh, my dad calls it a bazooka.
Speaker:It was terrible, dude.
Speaker:Comes out both ends.
Speaker:But like, I did have to take
Speaker:off a whole pair of underwear
Speaker:and just put it in the garbage.
Speaker:And now I imagine that they're
Speaker:like in an iceberg or a glacier
Speaker:somewhere, you know.
Speaker:Like Bjork had to find your
Speaker:diarrhea drawers.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:I hope so.
Speaker:That's the dream.
Speaker:That's what I would ideally
Speaker:like.
Speaker:Or like Cigarose or some, you
Speaker:know, some band.
Speaker:But I don't, I think it's just
Speaker:probably in like a glacier,
Speaker:like a frozen.
Speaker:Oh, it's kind of like, it's
Speaker:kind of like the mosquito in
Speaker:Jurassic Park, like frozen in
Speaker:time in a block of ice.
Speaker:Which is really kind of
Speaker:beautiful in a way.
Speaker:Probably the most beautiful
Speaker:place to shat your pants.
Speaker:It was very pretty there.
Speaker:It's better than a rock venue.
Speaker:It was like puffins.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I love it.
Speaker:Shout out Bjork.
Speaker:Shout out diarrhea.
Speaker:Shout out Bjork.
Speaker:Shout out Bjork.
Speaker:Everybody clap your pants.
Speaker:Everyone clap.
Speaker:Bing bang.
Speaker:Yes, that's Bjork.
Speaker:Bjork just walked into the room
Speaker:, actually.
Speaker:Bling bling.
Speaker:Hello, everyone.
Speaker:Got to go though.
Speaker:Bling bang.
Speaker:Clappy, clappy.
Speaker:Bing bang.
Speaker:Thank you, Bjork.
Speaker:You can step out.
Speaker:She's great, isn't she?
Speaker:She flew in just for this.
Speaker:Yeah, she's so friendly.
Speaker:That was so nice of her.
Speaker:Special guest on the podcast.
Speaker:We had Bjork, everybody.
Speaker:Bjork.
Speaker:Everybody.
Speaker:Okay, and that wraps it up.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:All right, man.
Speaker:Yeah, this was good.
Speaker:Thanks for doing this, Jack.
Speaker:Thanks for having me, buddy.
Speaker:Yeah, dude.
Speaker:Love you, brother.
Speaker:I love you, too.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:This was very good.
Speaker:I'm going to stop this now.
Speaker:And that was my rambling and
Speaker:somewhat intoxicated
Speaker:conversation with Jack Hopkins,
Speaker:with a special
Speaker:appearance at the end there by
Speaker:Icelandic singer Bjork.
Speaker:Thank you again, Jack, for
Speaker:agreeing to be recorded before
Speaker:I even had a podcast to speak
Speaker:of.
Speaker:And thank you, Bjork.
Speaker:And thank you, Bjork, for
Speaker:joining us at the last minute.
Speaker:You can follow Jack on
Speaker:Instagram @JackHoppy4.
Speaker:That's at Jack, H-O-P-P-Y, the
Speaker:number four.
Speaker:On YouTube @JackHoppy.
Speaker:And also, you can listen to his
Speaker:music on your favorite
Speaker:streaming service by searching
Speaker:for,
Speaker:you guessed it, Jack Hoppy.
Speaker:And I recommend you do all
Speaker:these things.
Speaker:They'll also all be in the show
Speaker:notes, in case you didn't have
Speaker:a pen handy.
Speaker:If you enjoyed this podcast,
Speaker:and I'm assuming that if you're
Speaker:still listening, you did,
Speaker:please share it with someone
Speaker:you know who also might enjoy
Speaker:it.
Speaker:You can follow the podcast on
Speaker:Instagram and Facebook @onefjefpod,
Speaker:and also on Substack
Speaker:@onefjef.
Speaker:And if you have any questions,
Speaker:suggestions, complaints, or
Speaker:poems you'd like to share,
Speaker:call the onefjef Podcast voicemail
Speaker:line at 1-669-241-5882.
Speaker:That's 1-669-241-5882.
Speaker:I think I keep changing the
Speaker:jingle every time, but that's
Speaker:okay.
Speaker:Leave a message there, and I
Speaker:will probably play it on the
Speaker:air.
Speaker:As seems appropriate, I'm going
Speaker:to end this episode with a
Speaker:Charles Bukowski poem.
Speaker:If you're going to try, go all
Speaker:the way.
Speaker:Otherwise, don't even start.
Speaker:This could mean losing
Speaker:girlfriends, wives, relatives,
Speaker:and maybe even your mind.
Speaker:It could mean not eating for
Speaker:three or four days.
Speaker:It could mean freezing on a
Speaker:park bench.
Speaker:It could mean jail.
Speaker:It could mean derision.
Speaker:It could mean mockery.
Speaker:Isolation.
Speaker:Isolation is a gift.
Speaker:All the others are a test of
Speaker:your endurance, of how much you
Speaker:really want to do it.
Speaker:And you'll do it, despite
Speaker:rejection and the worst odds.
Speaker:And it will be better than
Speaker:anything else you can imagine.
Speaker:If you're going to try, go all
Speaker:the way.
Speaker:There is no other feeling like
Speaker:that.
Speaker:You will be alone with the gods
Speaker:, and the nights will flame with
Speaker:fire.
Speaker:You will ride life straight to
Speaker:perfect laughter.
Speaker:It's the only good fight there
Speaker:is.
Speaker:I'll see you next week.
Speaker:Very good, Jeffrey.
