Episode 41

Ego Death, Young Life & Trying Not to Get Laid with Jack Hopkins

Jack Hopkins (aka Jack Hoppy) is a bartender, filmmaker, and musician from Columbus, Ohio. We talk about growing up small and non-athletic in the suburbs, learning about life from movies, getting love-bombed by a Christian youth group, successfully avoiding sex for most of high school, a mushroom trip that spiraled into months of nihilism and two suicide attempts, and the offhand comment from a stranger at 3 a.m. in a New York City pizza shop that pulled him out of it. Also: ketamine and a box of childhood action figures, why Columbus isn’t real, and why humping the Empire State Building is not okay.

Content warning: This episode includes extensive talk about sex and drugs, and quite a bit of swearing, so probably don't listen with your kids.

You can and should watch Jack's films, listen to his music, and look at some of his art here: https://linktr.ee/Jackhoppy

Please show some support for the podcast and get access to some extra content by subscribing to the Patreon page: http://www.patreon.com/onefjef

Instagram: @onefjefpod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onefjefpod

TikTok: @onefjefpodcast

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@onefjef

Email: onefjefpod@gmail.com

You can also call the podcast and leave a voicemail at 1-669-241-5882 and I will probably play it on the air.

Thank you for listening, please do it again, but don't scare the kids.

Onefjef is produced, edited & hosted by Jef Taylor.

Transcript
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I'm so sick of it, what we're

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doing here.

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I mean, I'm enjoying speaking,

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but I don't want to hear it.

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He literally dismisses the

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podcast as he speaks on one.

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We've entered the, yeah.

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Somebody would like this shit.

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This is episode 41 of onefjef.

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41 is the number just past the

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ordeal.

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Across mystical traditions, 40

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is the sacred threshold,

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the flood, the desert, the fast

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,

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which makes 41 the first breath

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on the other side.

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The I Ching's 41st hexagram,

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Sun, captures this perfectly.

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Voluntary sacrifice, giving

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something up as an act of trust

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rather than loss.

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In Pythagorean terms, the

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four and the one are intention.

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Structure versus the solitary

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will.

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The person who has built

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something solid,

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but hasn't yet made peace with

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being alone inside it.

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Hello, my friends.

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Hello once again.

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How about this?

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We're back on a regular

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schedule, huh?

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Huh?

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Anybody?

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I'm proud of myself.

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I hope that you're proud of me

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too.

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I said once I am in Mexico City

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and settled down a bit,

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we will get back to a regular

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schedule for this podcast.

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And here we are.

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So, go me.

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Go me.

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And as also promised, I am

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releasing an interview this

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week.

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And that interview is with Jack

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Hopkins.

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Jack Hopkins, also known as

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Jack Hoppy, is a filmmaker,

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writer, musician and visual

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artist.

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He co-wrote and acted in the

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short film According to Plan

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and releases self-produced

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music,

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including Squalor and Couch

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Surfing.

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His visual art and broader work

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reflected DIY self-direct

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approach focused on

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experimentation and personal

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expression.

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I recorded this conversation

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almost a year ago, before I

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even started making this

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podcast.

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I used a few clips of it in the

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first episode, but I didn't

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release the entire thing

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because, as you'll hear,

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Jack and I got progressively

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more intoxicated as the

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interview progressed.

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And we ended up recording for

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almost three hours, much of

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which was fairly incoherent.

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But I live in Mexico City now,

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and last week I went back and

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listened to what we'd recorded.

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And I discovered that it was

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actually more entertaining and

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less incoherent than I

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remembered.

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And I cut it down to an hour,

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which helped.

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I do need to include a

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disclaimer, though.

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If this episode had a rating,

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it would be a solid R.

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There's quite a bit of swearing

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and talk about drugs and sex

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and so forth and so on.

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So probably don't listen with

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your kids or with yourself if

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you don't like listening to ab

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ject subject matter.

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Mom, you've been warned.

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I met Jack Hopkins a few years

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ago outside the Summit Music

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Hall in Columbus, Ohio.

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The film group that we were

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both in was having a gathering,

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but there was a band playing,

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so nobody could talk inside, so

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people just started going

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outside.

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I was just standing outside

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nursing a drink.

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And this young, interesting-

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looking dude walks out of the

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bar, and we just start talking.

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And, yeah, there was just like

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an immediate connection with me

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and Jack.

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It's like we knew each other

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before.

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It's like we were just picking

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up a conversation we'd started

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long ago.

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And we've been friends ever

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since.

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Jack's about half my age.

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He's about 26 right now, I

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think.

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And he invited me to a party at

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his house, I don't know, six,

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seven months ago.

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And a lot of people at the

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party thought that I was Jack's

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dad, which I wasn't necessarily

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offended by, but I was also

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offended by.

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Anyway, now that I am in Mexico

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, I miss my friend Jack.

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I hope he comes to visit.

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And I hope you enjoy listening

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to this conversation with him

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as much as we clearly enjoyed

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having it.

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Thank you for listening.

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Thank you for being here.

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Here's Jack Hopkins criticizing

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the sturdiness of the table I

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had in my podcasting studio in

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Columbus, Ohio.

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Dude, this table is fucking wob

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bly.

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It's not that bad.

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Okay.

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Well, we've got a guest and we

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're already complaining about

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the table.

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Interesting.

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Sorry.

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Yeah, it's a beautiful table.

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So here we are.

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Jack, Jack Hopkins.

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They call me Hoppy, actually.

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You don't call me Hoppy, but my

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friends call me Hoppy.

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No, I refuse to call you Hoppy.

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You don't have to.

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Sorry.

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Yeah.

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How long have people been

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calling you Hoppy?

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That's like four years.

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No, I didn't grow up with it.

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Jack Hoppy.

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I don't know.

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Does your girlfriend call you

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Hoppy?

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No, she doesn't.

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That's good.

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She did originally and I

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actually had to say, please don

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't do that.

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You can't have that.

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I don't like that.

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Yeah.

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No, it's not sexy.

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And then when she refers to me,

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to other people, she's like,

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yeah, Hoppy's over there.

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I'm like, what are you doing,

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man?

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I don't like it.

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You got any nicknames?

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No.

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Me?

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Tweety?

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No.

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Big Dick.

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Masked huge dick.

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Big giant dick.

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On the street, I've heard that.

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Yeah.

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They're like, where's Big Dick

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at?

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I'm like, oh, Jack?

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Yeah, he's over there.

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Yeah, yeah.

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No, no real nicknames to speak

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of.

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No, I remember having

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girlfriends back in the day.

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And like one girlfriend, Laura,

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she wanted to like come up with

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nicknames for each other.

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And the one she came up for me

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was Bunny.

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And I was like, no, absolutely

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not.

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Similar to Hoppy.

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Yeah.

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Bunny is a little too cute.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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No kidding.

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So we never came up with nickn

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ames and then she cheated on me.

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Hey.

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Oh, God.

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So that's a red flag.

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Maybe if we came up with nickn

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ames, then maybe she wouldn't

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have cheated on me.

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If it was a good nickname, it

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would have been a green flag.

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Yeah.

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Although I don't know that

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there'd be-

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Spike.

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Spike, I don't think I don't

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know if it was Spike either.

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Or Danger.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Something like that.

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So like growing up, what was

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your life like?

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Tell me like high school.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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So I mean like I like sports.

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I've always liked sports.

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But the second that a grown man

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started to get mad at me, a

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seven-year-old for not doing

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it right, I immediately was

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like, no, I don't want to do

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this anymore.

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Old people ruin sports.

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I mean, why did they care that

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much?

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Just let them play.

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Just let them play.

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Living vicariously through a

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seven-year-old.

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And at the time, I thought it

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was weird.

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And now I'm looking back on it

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and I still, I'm like, I was

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right.

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I was fucking right.

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It's worse now than it was then

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probably.

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It was weird.

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What sport was this?

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I tried them all.

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I tried them all.

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I liked baseball the most

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because I have hand-eye

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coordination.

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I'm not athletic.

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I like to separate the two.

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I don't want to run for longer

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than, you know, a couple

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minutes at a time.

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Unless you're being chased,

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right?

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Yeah.

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I don't want to do that either.

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No, but I just, you know, I

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wasn't athletic and everybody

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else was athletic.

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It's Dublin, Ohio.

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It is a fucking green suburb.

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When I talk about it like this,

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I feel like I, yeah, the angsty

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, you know, like, I got

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to get out of this town, man.

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They don't believe in me.

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But that is how I.

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You got out of Dublin.

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That's how I felt though.

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And I remember my big brother

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was, you know, he was athletic

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effortlessly and he wouldn't

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study and he would get fucked

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up all the time.

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He just gets straight A's.

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36 on the ACT.

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Whatever.

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Doesn't care.

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I'll study and I'll study and I

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'll study and I'll still get a C

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plus, you know, even if

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I studied all night, it doesn't

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matter.

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Retention.

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Yeah.

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ADD.

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I don't know.

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And I would double guess myself

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.

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So I didn't, you know, grades

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would fail.

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I wasn't very good at sports.

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I was tiny.

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I was tiny.

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In a huge school, I was still

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like the third smallest kid in

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the class for a while there.

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I'm still small, but now I can

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blend in with a crowd a little

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more.

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I don't stand out or anything

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like that.

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Were you good at sports?

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No.

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No, I wasn't.

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Like I liked them, but I just,

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I got nervous.

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I got really fucking nervous,

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you know?

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But then I grew to a certain

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age where I was like, I don't

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have grades.

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I don't have sports.

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I'm tiny.

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I'm angsty.

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What do I do?

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How do you get respect fast?

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I was like, well, I'm just

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going to openly do drugs.

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You know, I'm going to be like

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the stoner kid.

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Got to find your identity.

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Absolutely.

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And I watched Days to Confuse

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when I was a freshman the

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summer before going into

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freshman year.

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And I was like, okay, when I

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meet stoners at my school, I'm

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kind of like, I want them to

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like me.

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I'm like, okay, let's just do

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that.

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Let's just put it all on the

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table.

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Like Slater.

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Yeah, but a little, they were

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more menacing.

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I was more Slater-esque.

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The stoners at my school, you

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know, they're kind of like

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tough.

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Yeah.

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Like they wanted to fight each

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other.

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It's interesting that you

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mentioned Days to Confuse

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because I feel like when I was

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in high school and junior high,

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I feel like I got a lot of my

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ideas about my identity from

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movies as opposed to like from

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a parental figure or an older

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adult.

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And I still think that that

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actually affects the way that I

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see the world in a way is like

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watching too many movies when I

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was a kid.

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And you're preaching to the

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choir.

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Right.

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I mean, whatever I thought was

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like a cool guy, I would try to

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be, okay, these guys in these

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movies get laid.

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I'm going to try to act like

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that.

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So if that's real life, right.

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And yeah, no, it never worked.

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Right.

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Then you get older and you

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realize.

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What is that?

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Are those movies not true?

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What's going on?

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Right, right.

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Then you realize that it's all

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bullshit and you're like.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And I was really pissed about

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that.

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I was insecure as fuck, man.

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Oh, acne is acne everywhere.

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Yeah, me too.

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Braces.

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Actually, I had braces from

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freshman year till senior year.

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Me too.

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Not that period of time, but

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yeah.

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Three years, two years.

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I remember they wanted to keep

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it ongoing in the college.

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And I fucking orthodontists,

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man.

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They want to ring you dry.

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It was the fucking worst, dude.

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And once I caught on and they

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were like, yeah, you're still

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off by a couple of millimeters.

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We recommend keeping it on.

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And I was 18 at the time.

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I was like, take them off.

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Well, that's the game, right?

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I'm like, I know that I can say

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this now.

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You got to take them off my

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face now.

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And they like looked at my mom

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and my mom was just shrugged.

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She's like, yeah, you heard the

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band.

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I was such a nerd in middle

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school that like the nerdy kid,

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this kid, Owen Priest, never

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forget.

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He slammed my head into a

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locker.

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Like the nerdiest kid above me

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fucking hurt me.

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Well, nerdy or weird.

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He was both.

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He was like the other outcast.

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He was like.

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Because a weird kid will slam

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anyone.

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It was like two outcasts, you

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know, vying for power or

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something.

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It was fucking awful.

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One of us.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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One weird.

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Middle school was the worst.

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That's when kids learn how to

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be assholes.

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Yeah.

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I was bulleted in middle school

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.

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That was the toughest one.

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It was awful.

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High school was fine.

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High school got better.

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For sure.

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I had fun in high school to be

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completely honest with you.

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But middle school.

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Yeah.

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No.

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I had a lot of trouble.

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What did you do in high school?

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Sports still or no?

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No, no.

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That was when I went full st

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oner mode.

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Freshman year was funny.

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This transitionary period where

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I didn't know and I didn't

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really care.

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What was it?

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It was Young Life, which is.

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Oh, I know what that is.

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Yeah.

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It's a youth group going on and

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really prevalent at my school,

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specifically with the seniors,

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with that class.

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And, you know, these seniors

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come to the freshmen and they

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're like, hey, you want to hang

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out

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after school, like on a weekend

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night?

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Love bomb.

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Love bomb.

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You can, you know, ride in my

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car.

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I was like, this is like Dazed

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and Confused.

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Except.

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Right, right, right.

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The exact opposite.

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So, you know, we go to this

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basement, which sounds weird,

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but there were like, you know,

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50 people in the basement.

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But they're Christians.

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Just dancing around.

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It was a lot of fun, you know?

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No drinking.

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I was, I don't know.

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I was naive.

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I was like, didn't catch on to

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me.

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That they were Christians.

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That was a tell.

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Right.

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I kind of knew that they were,

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I knew that it was Christian

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based, but then you're dancing

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and dancing and dancing at the

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end of the night and they're

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like, all right, now we pray.

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Right.

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Okay.

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Okay, gotta go.

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But they did get me.

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I felt kind of cool.

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That's how they get you.

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They love Bomb U.

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Yeah.

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Oh man, it was weird.

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They would take, I actually

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went to Young Life Camp.

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Mm-hmm.

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You know, it's like three days

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in the woods in Saranac, New

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York.

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Your parents probably liked it.

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They're not Christian.

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They were just kind of like,

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okay, sure.

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They were hanging out with good

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, wholesome people.

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Good, wholesome.

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Nah, they always trusted me.

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I think they were just kind of

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confused.

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They're like, okay, sure.

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Yeah.

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If you're finding God, that's

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not, go for it.

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Sure.

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Sure.

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No, I just wanted to go because

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everyone I knew was, all the

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freshmen got kind of roped

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in.

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And my girlfriend at the time

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was going and everything.

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And I was like, all right, fuck

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it.

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I was an atheist at the time.

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Mm-hmm.

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My friends knew, my girlfriend

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knew, and I'm agnostic now.

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I don't give a fuck.

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Sure.

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But at the time, I was, you

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know, pseudo-intellectual.

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I was like, there's no God like

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I knew.

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But I would keep it a secret

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from the actual Young Life,

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like seniors.

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Sure, because they're not going

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to let you in if you don't.

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Yeah.

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You'll at least pretend.

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Well, they did find out when I

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was there, and they made it a

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...

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How did they find out?

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Oh, people told them.

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I don't know.

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Word ends up.

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You spoke a lot about how you

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didn't believe in God.

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To my friends, and my friends,

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I'm sure, told them.

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This whole God thing's bullshit

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, by the way, you guys.

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That's right.

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And they had these weird games,

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competitions, secret

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competitions.

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Right, I can see that.

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To see who can convert the st

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oner kid.

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Oh, my God.

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And they would take me deep in

Speaker:

the woods one at a time to Eno,

Speaker:

you know, hammock.

Speaker:

And they would give their...

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This is my personal Bible.

Speaker:

I want to give it to you.

Speaker:

Like, if they could come out of

Speaker:

that woods with that win, they

Speaker:

would get so many brownie

Speaker:

points with good old JC.

Speaker:

If only they just had a naked

Speaker:

woman that you could fuck out

Speaker:

there, they'd be like, that's

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how you get them in.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Right, right.

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But that's premarital.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

But you just don't have to talk

Speaker:

about it.

Speaker:

You're right.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Well, if it...

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Yeah.

Speaker:

It would be the priest diddling

Speaker:

me, actually.

Speaker:

You know what Mormons do?

Speaker:

Mormons can't have sex when

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they get married, so they'll do

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a thing.

Speaker:

I forget the name.

Speaker:

Soaking.

Speaker:

Soaking.

Speaker:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker:

That's fucking crazy.

Speaker:

Would they just put their dick

Speaker:

near the vagina and have

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somebody...

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No, they put it in.

Speaker:

Yeah, I couldn't figure it out

Speaker:

where they actually put it in,

Speaker:

because they said there's

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not penetration.

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Uh-oh.

Speaker:

I'm sure there's layers of...

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Like, when I looked it up

Speaker:

online, it said there wasn't

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penetration, so it seemed like

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maybe there's rubbing.

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I don't know.

Speaker:

It could be either way.

Speaker:

But then you have a friend

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involved under the bed.

Speaker:

Maybe it's the thrust that...

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Maybe it's just the tip.

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Is the...

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If you thrust, then it's

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considered penetration.

Speaker:

Maybe, yeah.

Speaker:

I mean, what a weird religion

Speaker:

that is, but just the tip.

Speaker:

Yeah, because the Mormon God is

Speaker:

so dumb that it can't tell the

Speaker:

difference between soaking

Speaker:

and actual sex.

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I can't.

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Mormonism is...

Speaker:

That's disrespectful to the

Speaker:

Mormon God.

Speaker:

As long as you're wearing the

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Mormon underwear, you're good.

Speaker:

What's his name?

Speaker:

John Smith?

Speaker:

And they're from, like, Ohio,

Speaker:

too.

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They came...

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They were up in Ohio until they

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...

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When they were...

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It was one of the big...

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I think it was near northern

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Ohio, northwestern Ohio, northe

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astern Ohio.

Speaker:

I forget the city, but they

Speaker:

were living there, and then

Speaker:

they got kicked out of there,

Speaker:

and

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they kept moving, and then they

Speaker:

finally got to Utah, and they

Speaker:

were like, all right.

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This is where we're going to

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settle.

Speaker:

Well, they're going to have all

Speaker:

our wives here and shit.

Speaker:

Our 20 wives.

Speaker:

I mean, the wives thing

Speaker:

probably worked out.

Speaker:

For the fellas, definitely.

Speaker:

For the women, not so much.

Speaker:

They think it worked out for

Speaker:

them, though.

Speaker:

They're...

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Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker:

They get brainwashed, like,

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hard.

Speaker:

Like, all the fucking way.

Speaker:

So, stoner crowd, and how old

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were you when you got laid for

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the first time?

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I was 21.

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Wow.

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Yeah, yeah.

Speaker:

I had plenty of opportunities.

Speaker:

I'm not sure you did.

Speaker:

I'm just so serious.

Speaker:

I'm a gay fucker.

Speaker:

Yeah, that's what it says.

Speaker:

Look at his face.

Speaker:

Come on now.

Speaker:

Yeah, I could have fucked as

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many chicks as I wanted.

Speaker:

No, no.

Speaker:

I was in bed, and I would be

Speaker:

naked, and I would just lie,

Speaker:

because I was just so scared.

Speaker:

Oh.

Speaker:

It's just terrified.

Speaker:

Or I'd have had my underwear on

Speaker:

, and they'd be like, what?

Speaker:

I would just come up with

Speaker:

something every time.

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The first, like, it's happened,

Speaker:

like, five times, you know?

Speaker:

Or, like, yeah, you know?

Speaker:

You know, I'd be like, oh, my

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best friend is actually in love

Speaker:

with you.

Speaker:

I can't go through with this.

Speaker:

Or, oh, I remember in high

Speaker:

school, I actually said, I'm

Speaker:

just so tortured.

Speaker:

I'm too tortured.

Speaker:

Wow.

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Yeah.

Speaker:

And it didn't make any sense to

Speaker:

me or her.

Speaker:

She was like, okay.

Speaker:

But it worked.

Speaker:

You didn't get laid.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Score.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

I did it.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

That's the movie you should

Speaker:

write.

Speaker:

That's the movie you should

Speaker:

write.

Speaker:

Trying not to get laid.

Speaker:

Trying not to get laid.

Speaker:

That's actually what, that's a

Speaker:

title right there.

Speaker:

It was really fucking hard,

Speaker:

trying not to get laid, man.

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God damn.

Speaker:

Yeah, what a nightmare for you.

Speaker:

Yeah.

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Sorry you had to go through

Speaker:

that.

Speaker:

No, my first experience, yeah,

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I just lied.

Speaker:

I was like, oh, yeah, I've

Speaker:

fucked.

Speaker:

What were you concerned about?

Speaker:

Not being good at it, I think,

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was the big one.

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Yeah.

Speaker:

Or, like, not either, you know,

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coming too fast or not even

Speaker:

being hard at all, definitely.

Speaker:

Which was the case when I first

Speaker:

got laid, I'll be honest with

Speaker:

you.

Speaker:

Huh.

Speaker:

And then I was so pissed at

Speaker:

myself.

Speaker:

I was like, you horny little

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bastard.

Speaker:

You're finally doing it.

Speaker:

You can't even get hard.

Speaker:

And then a couple days later, I

Speaker:

remember she was feeding me

Speaker:

rails of crushed up Adderall

Speaker:

all night.

Speaker:

I'm like, oh, fuck.

Speaker:

I completely forgot what that

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does to your little ding dong.

Speaker:

That'll do it, yeah.

Speaker:

And I was so embarrassed, you

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know.

Speaker:

So then you graduate high

Speaker:

school incredibly.

Speaker:

Incredibly, yeah.

Speaker:

What's your relationship with

Speaker:

your parents like?

Speaker:

Me and my mom have always been

Speaker:

very close.

Speaker:

My dad and I, you know, we're

Speaker:

buddies.

Speaker:

Fathers and sons are tricky.

Speaker:

Yeah, we're buddies, you know.

Speaker:

He's pretty much like, I don't

Speaker:

know, he reminds me of Adam

Speaker:

Sandler.

Speaker:

Like, he's just like, you know,

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he can't be serious.

Speaker:

It's very, very difficult for

Speaker:

him to be serious.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

So, you know, when, yeah, when

Speaker:

you can't ever be serious, you

Speaker:

can't ever be vulnerable.

Speaker:

And so when you can't ever be

Speaker:

vulnerable, you can't ever form

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

That's strong relationship.

Speaker:

So I do dig, you know, I poke

Speaker:

and prod at him when, you know,

Speaker:

sometimes.

Speaker:

I'd be like, what happened here

Speaker:

?

Speaker:

When I, you know, trying to

Speaker:

figure out what was happening

Speaker:

to his child.

Speaker:

He had a crazy fucking

Speaker:

childhood, man.

Speaker:

Vulnerability is tough for

Speaker:

Midwesterners and particularly

Speaker:

like older.

Speaker:

He's from Jersey.

Speaker:

Oh, interesting.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

They're usually blunt.

Speaker:

They usually are.

Speaker:

Pretty frank.

Speaker:

Well, that's the stereotype.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

But he is all about like, good

Speaker:

vibe.

Speaker:

Like he, you know, he's a Jimmy

Speaker:

Buffett guy.

Speaker:

Like, you know, he grew up on

Speaker:

the beach.

Speaker:

So.

Speaker:

Like he literally listens to

Speaker:

Jimmy Buffett?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

How do you feel?

Speaker:

You like Jimmy Buffett?

Speaker:

I do because of him.

Speaker:

Which one?

Speaker:

Which songs?

Speaker:

We like trying to reason with

Speaker:

hurricane season.

Speaker:

I don't know that one.

Speaker:

Like things like that.

Speaker:

Everything rhymes in the Jimmy

Speaker:

Buffett song.

Speaker:

It's got to rhyme.

Speaker:

Yeah, they do.

Speaker:

I don't like, I don't like the

Speaker:

hits.

Speaker:

I don't know.

Speaker:

Changes in attitude.

Speaker:

Changes in latitude.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

So you know a couple.

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Okay.

Speaker:

Yeah, it's fun.

Speaker:

It's dumb.

Speaker:

No, but the instruments in

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Jimmy Buffett song.

Speaker:

Hey, Margaritaville's a great

Speaker:

song.

Speaker:

It is.

Speaker:

I can't hear it anymore though.

Speaker:

Growing up with it, you know.

Speaker:

Some people say that there's a

Speaker:

woman to blame.

Speaker:

But they're right.

Speaker:

It's all their fault.

Speaker:

Wait, but there's a very.

Speaker:

But as the story goes on, he

Speaker:

progresses as a human.

Speaker:

At the end, he says, it's

Speaker:

actually my fault.

Speaker:

Yeah, see, Jimmy Buffett is.

Speaker:

Oh, I didn't.

Speaker:

I never thought about it.

Speaker:

I never looked into it.

Speaker:

I've got to pay attention to

Speaker:

these beautiful, deep Jimmy

Speaker:

Buffett lyrics.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

I went to the last Jimmy Buff

Speaker:

ett show in Cincinnati.

Speaker:

And that is where.

Speaker:

It's the biggest fan base.

Speaker:

That's where they coined the

Speaker:

term Parrothead.

Speaker:

No shit.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Bigger than Key West.

Speaker:

I wonder why that is.

Speaker:

It's because nobody wants to be

Speaker:

in Cincinnati.

Speaker:

Nobody wants to be.

Speaker:

You know, when you're in Ohio.

Speaker:

No one wants to be in a lot of

Speaker:

places.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Well, since, you know, when you

Speaker:

're in Ohio, it's about island

Speaker:

escapism.

Speaker:

It's not about, you know, you

Speaker:

're daydreaming.

Speaker:

You know?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Columbus has sports though.

Speaker:

So that's how they, that's

Speaker:

their Jimmy Buffett is.

Speaker:

Columbus has got sports.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I'm not going to miss that.

Speaker:

You know, that's with you.

Speaker:

No, no.

Speaker:

I'm proud of him in my life

Speaker:

here.

Speaker:

My favorite thing about the

Speaker:

city is this cult of sports.

Speaker:

It's most people's favorite.

Speaker:

It's most people's favorite.

Speaker:

I'm a fucking, we're a couple

Speaker:

of snobs.

Speaker:

And you know, you know, more

Speaker:

power to them.

Speaker:

I was at a, I was watching the

Speaker:

championship game with my

Speaker:

cousin.

Speaker:

My cousin loves sports.

Speaker:

And we were watching the Ohio

Speaker:

state championship game.

Speaker:

It was with him and his kids,

Speaker:

but there was some friend of

Speaker:

his that I had never met.

Speaker:

And he was really, he was that

Speaker:

guy.

Speaker:

He was really into Ohio state.

Speaker:

And I'm just kind of watching

Speaker:

it.

Speaker:

You like to say, let's go a lot

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

Let's go.

Speaker:

I don't know if he said that,

Speaker:

but so we're watching it.

Speaker:

And I'm kind of like, I'm

Speaker:

watching a sporting event as I

Speaker:

watch sporting events.

Speaker:

I don't really like, I enjoy

Speaker:

watching sports sometimes, but

Speaker:

it's like, I don't take it

Speaker:

seriously.

Speaker:

I want an entertaining game.

Speaker:

If I'm going to watch it, I

Speaker:

want an exciting back and forth

Speaker:

or whatever.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

And so the game started, the

Speaker:

game started pausing and yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

The game starts getting close

Speaker:

and I'm like, oh, at least it's

Speaker:

exciting.

Speaker:

And this guy's happy.

Speaker:

He's like, we don't want it to

Speaker:

be close.

Speaker:

Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker:

And at the end, he was getting

Speaker:

mad.

Speaker:

He was getting, he, if that, if

Speaker:

they'd lost, he may have like

Speaker:

killed himself or started

Speaker:

crying.

Speaker:

And I think he did cry actually

Speaker:

when they won.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

So college, I can understand

Speaker:

you're representing your school

Speaker:

, but NFL, I will never

Speaker:

understand

Speaker:

that.

Speaker:

That's just companies buying

Speaker:

people.

Speaker:

It's like, what are we?

Speaker:

Well, it's just professional

Speaker:

sports.

Speaker:

It's not any different than

Speaker:

baseball or basketball.

Speaker:

It's the same fucking thing.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

No, your allegiance to a

Speaker:

company basically, because they

Speaker:

're trading you based on stats

Speaker:

and

Speaker:

sure.

Speaker:

It's all arbitrary, you know?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I'm not arguing that.

Speaker:

Although as a Clevelander, like

Speaker:

growing up watching the

Speaker:

Cleveland Browns, I do have an

Speaker:

affinity

Speaker:

for them.

Speaker:

I, if anything, I would root

Speaker:

for the Cleveland Browns just

Speaker:

for underdog sake.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

That's what being from a

Speaker:

Cleveland is all about.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

That I can get behind.

Speaker:

They did well, you know, a few

Speaker:

years back.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I'll watch it.

Speaker:

If they do well, I'll watch.

Speaker:

If they do well, I'll start

Speaker:

watching towards the end.

Speaker:

That's who, that's the, that's

Speaker:

the kind of sports fan I am is

Speaker:

if the team's doing well

Speaker:

at the end of the season.

Speaker:

Bandwagon?

Speaker:

Then I pay, exactly.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Like the Indians last year, the

Speaker:

Guardians were there.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Well, it, it also takes a lot

Speaker:

of homework and like daily

Speaker:

homework.

Speaker:

I call it homework because I

Speaker:

don't give a fuck.

Speaker:

I don't do any homework.

Speaker:

No, no.

Speaker:

I just mean like people that

Speaker:

are into sports, you know, you,

Speaker:

the way to, for people to

Speaker:

connect,

Speaker:

especially my family.

Speaker:

For sure.

Speaker:

Um, he's only bringing up the

Speaker:

names and the stats and, and,

Speaker:

and, and you, you gotta, you

Speaker:

gotta keep up with that shit

Speaker:

constantly.

Speaker:

I just listen to the sports

Speaker:

radio all the time.

Speaker:

I think it was Noam Chomsky who

Speaker:

said like, if he was listening,

Speaker:

he was like driving through

Speaker:

somewhere and he was listening

Speaker:

to random radio stations and he

Speaker:

got on one of these sports

Speaker:

radio stations and he's

Speaker:

listening to these people like

Speaker:

analyze sports to this insane

Speaker:

degree.

Speaker:

And he's like, if people

Speaker:

analyze the way the world and

Speaker:

the government works on the

Speaker:

level

Speaker:

that they analyze sports every

Speaker:

day, then we'd actually have in

Speaker:

a different civilization right

Speaker:

now.

Speaker:

Politics has turned into sports

Speaker:

teams, you know, you got your

Speaker:

reality TV.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Well, sports, it's like you, it

Speaker:

's like they see it as my team

Speaker:

versus your team.

Speaker:

No shades of gray, red versus

Speaker:

blue.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And then they treat, um, they

Speaker:

treat sports like politics, you

Speaker:

know, they're, they see the

Speaker:

complexities of it all.

Speaker:

And, uh, it's productive in a

Speaker:

certain way.

Speaker:

You know, you can talk to

Speaker:

someone without killing them.

Speaker:

Politics.

Speaker:

The first time, if you start

Speaker:

talking politics with someone

Speaker:

that has a little bit of a devi

Speaker:

ated

Speaker:

opinion from what you believe,

Speaker:

it's war.

Speaker:

It depends on the person.

Speaker:

Until you both decide at a

Speaker:

certain point, let's stop

Speaker:

talking about this because you

Speaker:

're not going

Speaker:

to win anyone over unless they

Speaker:

're a true on the fencer.

Speaker:

Which is really unfortunate

Speaker:

because that's not the way that

Speaker:

it's meant to be.

Speaker:

Like we're meant to be able to

Speaker:

have opinions that would change

Speaker:

based on new information.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And it's unfortunate that

Speaker:

everybody's so locked into

Speaker:

their, like, that's the problem

Speaker:

with

Speaker:

the world right now.

Speaker:

Aside from, you know,

Speaker:

everything.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Many problems with the world,

Speaker:

but that's a big one just that

Speaker:

we can't even, we're so closed

Speaker:

off to any other beliefs that

Speaker:

we can't even see each other.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Absolutely.

Speaker:

How old were you when Trump

Speaker:

first got elected?

Speaker:

Well, give me the year.

Speaker:

Uh, it was 2016.

Speaker:

2016?

Speaker:

I was 17.

Speaker:

Wow.

Speaker:

That's crazy to think that,

Speaker:

like, when I was growing up,

Speaker:

when I was your age, I, like,

Speaker:

politics was, I think it was a

Speaker:

George Bush.

Speaker:

And certainly there was rage at

Speaker:

politics and so forth, but it

Speaker:

wasn't like this horrible

Speaker:

behemoth that was, anyway,

Speaker:

slowly enveloping and the 24

Speaker:

hour news hadn't happened yet.

Speaker:

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

But now you've basically grown

Speaker:

up under like, well, I guess

Speaker:

Obama, Obama was quote unquote

Speaker:

good.

Speaker:

And then you had, you've got

Speaker:

Trump for 12 years.

Speaker:

Ain't nobody was good.

Speaker:

Ain't nobody.

Speaker:

That's a good, good president.

Speaker:

Jimmy Carter was one.

Speaker:

Jimmy Carter was actually a

Speaker:

good, good president and a good

Speaker:

man after he was president.

Speaker:

After he was president, he was

Speaker:

a peanut farmer from Georgia.

Speaker:

After he was president, he

Speaker:

spent the rest of his life,

Speaker:

like, working for Habitat for

Speaker:

Humanity and building houses.

Speaker:

He'd be out there 80 years old.

Speaker:

Fucking.

Speaker:

Nah, we can find dirt.

Speaker:

We can find some dirt.

Speaker:

No doubt.

Speaker:

Well, I'm sure there's dirt

Speaker:

somewhere.

Speaker:

I'm not talking about a little.

Speaker:

But at least Obama's got a

Speaker:

Netflix deal, for Christ's sake

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker:

I'm not talking about a little

Speaker:

bit of dirt.

Speaker:

I'm talking about that dude

Speaker:

definitely funded genocides

Speaker:

like everybody else.

Speaker:

I'm saying relatively.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And I think he was.

Speaker:

In comparison to.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I mean, for the last 40 years,

Speaker:

50 years of his life, he

Speaker:

literally gave it, giving back

Speaker:

to the, like, he was.

Speaker:

Publicly.

Speaker:

Publicly.

Speaker:

Sure.

Speaker:

I'll take it.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Better than Obama right now.

Speaker:

He's just working for Netflix.

Speaker:

You can't ever give props to a

Speaker:

politician.

Speaker:

Especially the big man.

Speaker:

That's fair.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

It just doesn't feel right.

Speaker:

There's stuff we just don't

Speaker:

know.

Speaker:

And we never will.

Speaker:

And it's just like, how many

Speaker:

fucking innocent people are

Speaker:

dead because of him?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Because of every president.

Speaker:

It happens.

Speaker:

So how'd you start the film

Speaker:

stuff?

Speaker:

Do you remember the first film

Speaker:

you ever watched?

Speaker:

No.

Speaker:

No.

Speaker:

I remember.

Speaker:

What's an early film that you

Speaker:

saw that was like.

Speaker:

A lot of animation.

Speaker:

A lot of animation.

Speaker:

There's this movie called The

Speaker:

Rescuers Down Under, which is,

Speaker:

you know, it's underrated,

Speaker:

underappreciated.

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

Incredibly underrated, dude.

Speaker:

When you talk about classic

Speaker:

Disney animated movies, ain't

Speaker:

nobody ever going to mention

Speaker:

this

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movie in a million fucking

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years.

Speaker:

No, no, no.

Speaker:

You're right.

Speaker:

You're right.

Speaker:

And then I think first grade, I

Speaker:

had this, my best friend

Speaker:

Cameron, I'd go to his house

Speaker:

and I would use his family

Speaker:

video camera.

Speaker:

I was addicted to it so much

Speaker:

that he just hated me.

Speaker:

He was like, you just want the

Speaker:

camera.

Speaker:

I'm like, yeah, maybe.

Speaker:

I like you too, though.

Speaker:

And then I forgot about it for

Speaker:

a bit.

Speaker:

You know, I still loved movies

Speaker:

always, but I was a writer.

Speaker:

You know, I wanted to write

Speaker:

books and short stories, so I

Speaker:

did.

Speaker:

And then seventh grade, I was

Speaker:

12, 11 or 12, biography week or

Speaker:

month.

Speaker:

You know, you pick a biography,

Speaker:

you read it, you do report on

Speaker:

it.

Speaker:

It was between Bob Marley and,

Speaker:

yeah, I love Bob Marley.

Speaker:

And Spielberg.

Speaker:

I picked Spielberg because that

Speaker:

was what was available.

Speaker:

And I was like, I said it out

Speaker:

loud too.

Speaker:

I was like, this is what I want

Speaker:

to do.

Speaker:

And it has not, no doubt.

Speaker:

There was no doubt in my mind.

Speaker:

This is exactly what I want to

Speaker:

do.

Speaker:

And it just has not changed.

Speaker:

So did you like Spielberg at

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the time?

Speaker:

Oh, yeah.

Speaker:

What's your favorite Spielberg?

Speaker:

I had an E.T. poster.

Speaker:

I was a big fan of E.T.

Speaker:

Yeah, growing up E.T.

Speaker:

Now, I don't know.

Speaker:

I had the soundtrack on 45.

Speaker:

Really?

Speaker:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker:

It changes for me.

Speaker:

Loved Temple of Doom as

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ridiculous as it is.

Speaker:

Not Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Speaker:

No, no, no.

Speaker:

I was a fucking kid, man.

Speaker:

I wanted like balls to the wall

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

Andy, Andy.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I wanted the most outrageous.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

His movies are outrageous.

Speaker:

The Gremlins?

Speaker:

There's some good ones in there

Speaker:

, yeah.

Speaker:

The Gremlins is underrated.

Speaker:

There's some bad ones, but

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there's some good ones, yeah.

Speaker:

I miss it.

Speaker:

No, he's a master.

Speaker:

Yeah, but nowadays, I haven't

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even touched his historical ep

Speaker:

ics.

Speaker:

I mean, Jaws on its own is just

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incredible.

Speaker:

Oh, yeah.

Speaker:

That's number one.

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Okay, that is the number one.

Speaker:

I saw that in the theater like

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three, four years ago, and it

Speaker:

was an amazing, like, there's

Speaker:

so many things about that movie

Speaker:

that are so smart, yeah.

Speaker:

So fucking good.

Speaker:

The thing he figured out was

Speaker:

like, he'll have the camera on

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a character, and something's

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happening off screen, and they

Speaker:

'll hear a sound, and they'll

Speaker:

look, and he doesn't show

Speaker:

you what they're looking at for

Speaker:

a few seconds.

Speaker:

Does he pan over after?

Speaker:

Or whatever, he cuts to it, or

Speaker:

whatever, but he just builds

Speaker:

the tension by just showing

Speaker:

the person reacting to the

Speaker:

thing that you don't even know

Speaker:

what it is yet, right?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I'm actually doing that in the

Speaker:

short film, that exact thing in

Speaker:

the short film that we're

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doing right now.

Speaker:

That by this point, once this

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is released, it'll be in Tribe

Speaker:

ca and be made into a feature

Speaker:

film,

Speaker:

I believe.

Speaker:

That's true.

Speaker:

I'll have the funding by then.

Speaker:

Yeah, there'll be a $10 million

Speaker:

, A24, I believe.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

We're going to get Daniel Day

Speaker:

out of retirement.

Speaker:

For sure you should, yeah, yeah

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

To play a 21-year-old.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Have you ever seen My Left Foot

Speaker:

?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Doesn't really work with the

Speaker:

microphones.

Speaker:

Shouldn't laugh, yeah.

Speaker:

Just to describe what Jef is

Speaker:

doing here, he did a crude

Speaker:

imitation of a disabled man.

Speaker:

No, it's literally the guy in

Speaker:

My Left Foot.

Speaker:

It's Daniel Day-Lewis playing.

Speaker:

Oh, I got some fucked up lore

Speaker:

on My Left Foot.

Speaker:

See how it ends on a very sweet

Speaker:

note?

Speaker:

Like, oh, he found a woman that

Speaker:

loves him and there's some hope

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

Vaguely, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker:

She abused the fuck out of him.

Speaker:

Oh, the real My Left Foot guy.

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

She abused the hell out of him.

Speaker:

Might have even led to his

Speaker:

death at one point.

Speaker:

Let's make the sequel.

Speaker:

Let's make the sequel.

Speaker:

What do you...

Speaker:

Oh, yeah.

Speaker:

My Left Foot Part 2.

Speaker:

The Darker Years.

Speaker:

My Right Foot.

Speaker:

Right, right.

Speaker:

Yeah, he starts feeling his

Speaker:

right foot.

Speaker:

Because she...

Speaker:

Yeah, she beat him, definitely.

Speaker:

I wonder if Stephen Hawking's

Speaker:

like...

Speaker:

Wasn't he married or something?

Speaker:

Did I wonder if his wife

Speaker:

fucking like...

Speaker:

I don't know.

Speaker:

I've seen the Family Guy clip

Speaker:

where they're both disabled and

Speaker:

having wheelchair sex in bed.

Speaker:

She's like typing in her moans.

Speaker:

I don't...

Speaker:

I don't know.

Speaker:

That's as far as I know about

Speaker:

his fucking...

Speaker:

That's pretty funny.

Speaker:

That's pretty funny, though.

Speaker:

I know he had a girl when he

Speaker:

didn't have the disability.

Speaker:

Right, we all saw the movie.

Speaker:

I didn't.

Speaker:

Oh, yeah.

Speaker:

I just know about it.

Speaker:

Oh, right.

Speaker:

You're just a fan of Stephen

Speaker:

Hawking, yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Just know the Stephen Hawking

Speaker:

lore.

Speaker:

I tried reading some of his

Speaker:

books just to like feel smart.

Speaker:

I read the one.

Speaker:

It didn't make me feel smart.

Speaker:

It was just more confusing.

Speaker:

I love the first like quarter

Speaker:

of that like Carl Jung type

Speaker:

book because it's one that you

Speaker:

're

Speaker:

like, oh my God, I'm

Speaker:

understanding what they're

Speaker:

saying.

Speaker:

And then they're like, there's

Speaker:

a drop off point where they're

Speaker:

like, okay, now that we've

Speaker:

explained all of the beginner

Speaker:

dumbass shit, let's just start

Speaker:

talking.

Speaker:

Let's get in.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And then I'm like, oh, I have

Speaker:

no idea what they're saying.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

God damn.

Speaker:

I think my brain just, I think

Speaker:

like some physicists and stuff,

Speaker:

I think their brain just works

Speaker:

differently.

Speaker:

But like, I want to understand

Speaker:

that, like how you can explain

Speaker:

the universe with math.

Speaker:

Like what's that?

Speaker:

How do you, like you can

Speaker:

explain how the universe acts.

Speaker:

Why gravity because of an

Speaker:

equation?

Speaker:

I don't get that at all.

Speaker:

So like our brains, like my

Speaker:

theory is that our brains like

Speaker:

intentionally, like we were,

Speaker:

we were wired for our brains to

Speaker:

intentionally like short

Speaker:

circuit when we start to

Speaker:

conceptualize

Speaker:

how large the universe might be

Speaker:

because it just wouldn't work.

Speaker:

It's not that we can't do it.

Speaker:

It's that it's not healthy for

Speaker:

us.

Speaker:

But not everybody's does though

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

Like there's clearly people who

Speaker:

are able to comprehend this

Speaker:

level.

Speaker:

They bypassed it.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And they're fucked.

Speaker:

You think that?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

They have, they have a lack of

Speaker:

empathy to a certain degree.

Speaker:

They've transcended a certain

Speaker:

part of the human condition.

Speaker:

Maybe they know something that

Speaker:

we don't.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

That's what I'm saying.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

But I think I would rather stay

Speaker:

in my lane and keep my empathy

Speaker:

than understand, like,

Speaker:

you know, big picture people.

Speaker:

You got to think about the big

Speaker:

picture, you know, think about

Speaker:

the species.

Speaker:

Nah, I ain't about that.

Speaker:

I'm talking about, I'm thinking

Speaker:

about individuals and that's

Speaker:

about it.

Speaker:

Sure.

Speaker:

I mean, we're all inherently,

Speaker:

you know, egocentric.

Speaker:

What are you saying?

Speaker:

But I mean, it's true.

Speaker:

How can you, you can't, you can

Speaker:

't avoid it.

Speaker:

Yeah, I know.

Speaker:

But like, I was reading some

Speaker:

book that was talking about

Speaker:

what, what would really happen.

Speaker:

Like they are working on like

Speaker:

drugs that will extend our

Speaker:

lives, right?

Speaker:

So this guy was kind of pos

Speaker:

iting, like, what would happen

Speaker:

if they invented this drug?

Speaker:

Well, first off, like the rich

Speaker:

people would get it first,

Speaker:

right?

Speaker:

This would be a drug that would

Speaker:

, everybody would want it, right

Speaker:

?

Speaker:

Probably be gatekept for like

Speaker:

100, 200 years.

Speaker:

Yeah, that'd be right.

Speaker:

And they wouldn't, they would

Speaker:

keep it a secret.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

But then the ramifications of

Speaker:

having a, of being able to live

Speaker:

, let's say, I mean, even 300

Speaker:

years,

Speaker:

whatever.

Speaker:

Like you would get number one

Speaker:

bored and you would be so

Speaker:

afraid of like airplanes.

Speaker:

Nobody would fly in a plane.

Speaker:

Nobody would take any risk

Speaker:

because to take a risk would

Speaker:

mean to, the only way you can

Speaker:

die

Speaker:

is by having your body get

Speaker:

fucking destroyed.

Speaker:

So you would be so risk averse,

Speaker:

skydiving would be over.

Speaker:

It's true.

Speaker:

Anyway, it seemed very, it was

Speaker:

like, and it would, and if you

Speaker:

were the only one that was

Speaker:

living a long time and all you

Speaker:

did was just live and every,

Speaker:

all your friends died, I don't

Speaker:

know.

Speaker:

Well, that's the vampire movie

Speaker:

effect, right?

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

It's like, yeah.

Speaker:

Or the vampire story.

Speaker:

I think suicide.

Speaker:

It's like all the vampires are

Speaker:

all heartbroken because they've

Speaker:

seen everyone they love die.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Which is actually why the

Speaker:

vampire story is so good

Speaker:

because it's still.

Speaker:

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker:

It's heartbreaking.

Speaker:

What was that?

Speaker:

Was it Jim Jarmusch one with,

Speaker:

what's her name?

Speaker:

Did Jim Jarmusch make it?

Speaker:

Yeah, he did in Detroit.

Speaker:

Yeah, it was very.

Speaker:

Twilight.

Speaker:

Yeah, that's the one.

Speaker:

No, it was the, the mice movie.

Speaker:

It was the mice.

Speaker:

I was trying to think of the

Speaker:

title.

Speaker:

Rescues from Down Under.

Speaker:

Yeah, it was that one.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I don't know.

Speaker:

I don't know.

Speaker:

He didn't come up with the fast

Speaker:

time.

Speaker:

Mice.

Speaker:

What are you saying?

Speaker:

Wasn't there, wasn't that movie

Speaker:

with mice?

Speaker:

The rescues Down Under, wasn't

Speaker:

that with mice?

Speaker:

Yeah, but what?

Speaker:

No, I was just trying to make a

Speaker:

joke, but it's gone so off the

Speaker:

rails because, just because

Speaker:

I couldn't remember the name of

Speaker:

the movie.

Speaker:

I caught it.

Speaker:

If I could remember the name of

Speaker:

the movie right away, it would

Speaker:

have been a good joke.

Speaker:

I wish I made a fucking vampire

Speaker:

movie.

Speaker:

Only Lovers Left Alive.

Speaker:

That was what it was called.

Speaker:

That's a cool name.

Speaker:

Yeah, it's a good movie.

Speaker:

You'd like it.

Speaker:

It says Tilda Swindon.

Speaker:

Is that real?

Speaker:

Oh, she's great.

Speaker:

She's the best.

Speaker:

Yeah, and she looks like a

Speaker:

vampire too, so.

Speaker:

Yeah, she's a little, she's a

Speaker:

little fugly.

Speaker:

Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker:

I have mixed feelings about

Speaker:

whether I find her attractive

Speaker:

or not.

Speaker:

Really?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I don't, I think she's homely.

Speaker:

Interesting.

Speaker:

I could see that.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

I saw her in, what was that

Speaker:

movie, Kevin?

Speaker:

Yeah, we need to talk about

Speaker:

Kevin.

Speaker:

Dude, that movie.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Anyway, we don't need to get

Speaker:

into a movie jack-off thing,

Speaker:

but that movie.

Speaker:

Why not?

Speaker:

That's our main expertise.

Speaker:

We just talked about politics

Speaker:

for how long.

Speaker:

It's true.

Speaker:

It's true.

Speaker:

You're right.

Speaker:

Well, that's the thing that I

Speaker:

worked in for four years, so, I

Speaker:

mean, I do.

Speaker:

Meanwhile, I'm just blab, I'm

Speaker:

just yabbing.

Speaker:

If we just stop talking, then

Speaker:

people will stop.

Speaker:

People have already tuned up.

Speaker:

I think that's not very

Speaker:

optimistic.

Speaker:

Hey, Mom.

Speaker:

Oh, man.

Speaker:

I'm so sick of what we're doing

Speaker:

here.

Speaker:

I mean, I'm enjoying speaking.

Speaker:

Wow.

Speaker:

But I don't want to hear it.

Speaker:

He literally dismisses the

Speaker:

podcast as he speaks on one.

Speaker:

We've entered the, yeah.

Speaker:

Somebody that would like this

Speaker:

shit.

Speaker:

I was thinking of calling it,

Speaker:

Columbus Isn't Real.

Speaker:

What?

Speaker:

The name?

Speaker:

The name of the podcast,

Speaker:

Columbus Isn't Real.

Speaker:

Columbus Isn't Real.

Speaker:

Yeah, I mean, I don't like

Speaker:

Columbus.

Speaker:

Here we go.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

Uh-oh.

Speaker:

I don't like Columbus.

Speaker:

What don't you like about

Speaker:

Columbus?

Speaker:

It's a fucking corporate hub.

Speaker:

Where's better than Columbus,

Speaker:

then?

Speaker:

Chicago's a better place.

Speaker:

New York is a better place.

Speaker:

Cincinnati's a better place.

Speaker:

I'm with you.

Speaker:

Like, I don't love Columbus

Speaker:

either, and I'm interested in

Speaker:

leaving.

Speaker:

But, like, I do think that

Speaker:

after living in a lot of

Speaker:

different cities, like, all

Speaker:

these

Speaker:

cities are corporate.

Speaker:

It's not, like, the thing with

Speaker:

Columbus to me is, like, it's

Speaker:

not very culture.

Speaker:

There's a cult of football.

Speaker:

There we go.

Speaker:

It's flat everywhere.

Speaker:

That's what I was about to say.

Speaker:

Any culture that we do have or

Speaker:

did have gets ripped away and

Speaker:

replaced.

Speaker:

I mean, there's some culture

Speaker:

here.

Speaker:

Don't get me wrong.

Speaker:

Like, there's some.

Speaker:

I'm not going to give it.

Speaker:

I mean, every city as big as

Speaker:

ours has, like,

Speaker:

their thing.

Speaker:

You know?

Speaker:

Columbus lacks an identity, a

Speaker:

distinct identity, except for

Speaker:

the football thing.

Speaker:

That's the thing.

Speaker:

I think that when they tore

Speaker:

down my favorite bar, the Stube

Speaker:

, I, like, just lost all hope

Speaker:

for this place.

Speaker:

Because that really was a

Speaker:

stronghold.

Speaker:

It was a safe haven.

Speaker:

It was a fucking institution.

Speaker:

And it's, uh, they tore it down

Speaker:

for expensive high-rise

Speaker:

apartments that are going to be

Speaker:

fucking

Speaker:

empty.

Speaker:

I think there's good things

Speaker:

about this place.

Speaker:

I'm just, when I was in Mexico,

Speaker:

I realized, and it's going to

Speaker:

sound maybe in a year when

Speaker:

I'm listening to this, I'll be

Speaker:

like, oh, what an idiot.

Speaker:

But that I don't, that I feel

Speaker:

better when I'm in a city, like

Speaker:

a foreigner in a city.

Speaker:

Like, I'm feeling, I started to

Speaker:

sell all my stuff.

Speaker:

Like, when I got back from

Speaker:

Mexico, I was like, I'm just

Speaker:

trying to sell my records and

Speaker:

shit.

Speaker:

Just getting rid of stuff.

Speaker:

Because, like, I'm also like,

Speaker:

all this shit.

Speaker:

You have a bigger house, you

Speaker:

end up accumulating all this

Speaker:

fucking shit that just holds

Speaker:

you down,

Speaker:

holds your life down.

Speaker:

Like, I'm just, um, downsizing.

Speaker:

I mean, if you plan on moving,

Speaker:

then, yeah.

Speaker:

It doesn't even, if I plan on

Speaker:

moving, like, I don't like

Speaker:

feeling like I'm stuck.

Speaker:

And having all this stuff makes

Speaker:

me feel like, oh, it's so hard

Speaker:

to go anywhere.

Speaker:

Sounds like Fight Club.

Speaker:

Yeah, you're trying, you're

Speaker:

going minimalist?

Speaker:

Fair enough, yeah, yeah.

Speaker:

You do have some cool trinkets

Speaker:

going on.

Speaker:

I don't know.

Speaker:

Like, if I get a remote job

Speaker:

somewhere, I'm just gonna...

Speaker:

Start traveling?

Speaker:

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker:

I mean, if you have a remote

Speaker:

job that pays enough, then you

Speaker:

can always come back to your

Speaker:

little, your safe little place

Speaker:

here.

Speaker:

For sure.

Speaker:

I just, the stuff that I

Speaker:

accumulate is just sentimental

Speaker:

objects that I don't have any,

Speaker:

like...

Speaker:

You can write through a way.

Speaker:

I don't have any nice, like,

Speaker:

electronics or anything.

Speaker:

It's just, like, little trink

Speaker:

ets and shit that, like...

Speaker:

Vinyl and books.

Speaker:

Souvenirs, you know?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I have a lot of records, a lot

Speaker:

of books as well.

Speaker:

And I don't listen to my

Speaker:

records very often, and I'm

Speaker:

like, why do I have all these

Speaker:

fucking

Speaker:

records?

Speaker:

My record player broke.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

I don't know why.

Speaker:

I don't like having all of them

Speaker:

, getting rid of them.

Speaker:

The closer you get to the

Speaker:

inevitable, the easier it is.

Speaker:

At least for me, it's been,

Speaker:

like, clarifying in some ways.

Speaker:

Like, somebody else is just

Speaker:

gonna have to throw...

Speaker:

Why am I keeping this?

Speaker:

Somebody else is just gonna

Speaker:

have to throw this shit away.

Speaker:

Why?

Speaker:

When you die?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Is that what you're saying?

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Well, I mean, I surround myself

Speaker:

with souvenirs not because I

Speaker:

want to keep it, keep it, but

Speaker:

because I want to surround

Speaker:

myself with it.

Speaker:

No, I get that inclination, and

Speaker:

I do have a lot of crap around

Speaker:

my house as well.

Speaker:

I'm not gonna rid of all that

Speaker:

stuff.

Speaker:

I'm just saying that, like,

Speaker:

when I was in Mexico City, all

Speaker:

I had was, like, a laptop,

Speaker:

some books, and a couple

Speaker:

changes of clothes for, like, a

Speaker:

month, and I was perfectly

Speaker:

happy.

Speaker:

True.

Speaker:

I felt unburdened by all of the

Speaker:

shit.

Speaker:

For that period of time.

Speaker:

Sure.

Speaker:

And right.

Speaker:

This is a very good point.

Speaker:

A pretty short period of time.

Speaker:

But I was in Korea for fucking

Speaker:

a year and a half, and I was

Speaker:

the same thing.

Speaker:

I had as much as I could carry

Speaker:

in a backpack.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

What about the thought that you

Speaker:

could come back, and you would,

Speaker:

and you will come back to all

Speaker:

the stuff eventually?

Speaker:

This is why I wanted to get rid

Speaker:

of this stuff.

Speaker:

Which you did.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

No, I'm trying to work through

Speaker:

my fucking hoarder, like,

Speaker:

tendencies here.

Speaker:

I get it.

Speaker:

I mean, we're...

Speaker:

I'm defending it in a half-ass

Speaker:

edly way, because I know the...

Speaker:

I do realize the benefits of

Speaker:

minimalism, and I should

Speaker:

probably tap in.

Speaker:

Fight Club was right.

Speaker:

I mean, it's a corny thing to

Speaker:

say, but the stuff you own ends

Speaker:

up owning you.

Speaker:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker:

And it's totally true.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I'm young enough where my cheat

Speaker:

code is just my parents' house.

Speaker:

Sure.

Speaker:

No, I've got a lot of...

Speaker:

And, dude, I've still got that

Speaker:

cheat code.

Speaker:

I got a lot of stuff in my

Speaker:

fucking bedroom.

Speaker:

You do?

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker:

CDs and shit.

Speaker:

So when I move to LA, you

Speaker:

better believe that I'm keeping

Speaker:

all my bullshit, like, down in

Speaker:

that basement.

Speaker:

Dude, what you should do, every

Speaker:

big move I have, dude, I

Speaker:

fucking downsize.

Speaker:

You've got to do it, man.

Speaker:

Oh, absolutely.

Speaker:

Dude, I have to drive a U-Haul

Speaker:

across the country.

Speaker:

No, I'm not saying...

Speaker:

But don't put all the stuff in

Speaker:

your parents' basement.

Speaker:

Oh, I'm selling a lot of shit.

Speaker:

No doubt.

Speaker:

Or Excel, yeah.

Speaker:

Try to sell it or give it away.

Speaker:

That's the best reason to move.

Speaker:

I've got to tell you this story

Speaker:

, man.

Speaker:

I was doing ketamine with my

Speaker:

big brother this past Christmas

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

You know, every time I see him,

Speaker:

I go down to the basement and I

Speaker:

'm like, all right, you

Speaker:

got it back?

Speaker:

And he's like, yeah.

Speaker:

And so we sit there and we'll

Speaker:

watch like three or four movies

Speaker:

, probably talk over it the

Speaker:

entire time.

Speaker:

If not, or we lock in,

Speaker:

depending on our mood.

Speaker:

But we had this gigantic crate

Speaker:

of action figures that we used

Speaker:

to play with when we were

Speaker:

little

Speaker:

kids in the back, back, back

Speaker:

room of the basement at my

Speaker:

parents' house.

Speaker:

Back, back, back.

Speaker:

So we go back and it's like the

Speaker:

boiler room, you know, in a

Speaker:

crawl space.

Speaker:

And we find it, we called it

Speaker:

the guy box.

Speaker:

And we're like, here's the guy

Speaker:

box.

Speaker:

And we open up the tub and we

Speaker:

are on ketamine, man.

Speaker:

And I open up the, you know,

Speaker:

the lid and we dig through this

Speaker:

giant thing of action figures

Speaker:

we haven't seen in 15 years for

Speaker:

two and a half hours straight,

Speaker:

just having the most nostalgic

Speaker:

experience that I've felt.

Speaker:

And I'm like, do you remember

Speaker:

this one?

Speaker:

And he's like, yeah.

Speaker:

Like, I'm just like, ketamine

Speaker:

is just like a very nostalgic

Speaker:

feeling, you know?

Speaker:

Like G.I.

Speaker:

Joe's or what were they?

Speaker:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker:

G.I.

Speaker:

Joe's were Barbies.

Speaker:

They were Barbies.

Speaker:

Well, those were too big.

Speaker:

No, ours were tiny little guys.

Speaker:

Yeah, the little army men.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Those guys were in there.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

They were my jam.

Speaker:

Ketamine is so kind to me.

Speaker:

It's so like, it takes me by

Speaker:

the hand and just guides me

Speaker:

through my memories without it

Speaker:

being scary.

Speaker:

Like LSD and Shrooms.

Speaker:

LSD and Shrooms is like, look

Speaker:

at these memories and fuck you.

Speaker:

And ketamine is like, look at

Speaker:

these memories and I love you.

Speaker:

That's a record to you, to you.

Speaker:

Yeah, that's true.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

That's just for me.

Speaker:

I don't think, I've never had

Speaker:

mushrooms say, look at these

Speaker:

memories, fuck you.

Speaker:

Oh, I have.

Speaker:

God damn.

Speaker:

Fair enough.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Never.

Speaker:

For me, this is why, I mean,

Speaker:

there's a reason that all my

Speaker:

friends hate it for some reason

Speaker:

,

Speaker:

right?

Speaker:

It's just unique to my

Speaker:

experience.

Speaker:

It's definitely.

Speaker:

Mr. Jef Taylor.

Speaker:

Give me a, give me a story from

Speaker:

your youth.

Speaker:

From my, how, a story from my

Speaker:

youth?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Something, you know, a little

Speaker:

party story or something or

Speaker:

another.

Speaker:

One time I was on mushrooms in

Speaker:

college and I, we were, we were

Speaker:

rock climbing.

Speaker:

That sounds horrible.

Speaker:

There was a place called, it

Speaker:

was a terrible idea.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

It was a place called Bong Hill

Speaker:

that was this.

Speaker:

Bong Hill?

Speaker:

It was called, you know,

Speaker:

outside of OU.

Speaker:

I was just, I know what it is.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Oh, yeah.

Speaker:

I know what you're talking

Speaker:

about.

Speaker:

And out in the, behind Bong

Speaker:

Hill, there's like rocks and

Speaker:

rocks, you know, and so we're

Speaker:

like climbing up these rocks

Speaker:

and it was like easy kind of

Speaker:

climbing up the rocks and then

Speaker:

suddenly it was that I was like

Speaker:

climbing and I was at a place

Speaker:

where like, there were like

Speaker:

footholds, but like my friends

Speaker:

had already gotten up, but like

Speaker:

it was a drop, like it

Speaker:

was like a hundred foot drop on

Speaker:

this side.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Anyway, at a certain point I

Speaker:

realized I don't know how the

Speaker:

fuck to get up, to get up there

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

Was that the shrooms or was it

Speaker:

just you?

Speaker:

Both.

Speaker:

I mean, it was true that I

Speaker:

couldn't.

Speaker:

Were you a rock climber?

Speaker:

I was like, what is this?

Speaker:

Are you just trying it out?

Speaker:

No.

Speaker:

On shrooms?

Speaker:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker:

Are you like stuck on the

Speaker:

mountain side or the cliff side

Speaker:

?

Speaker:

No, I used like superhuman

Speaker:

strength and actually got up to

Speaker:

the, to the top of the.

Speaker:

Shroom strength.

Speaker:

Something, but like.

Speaker:

Similar to retarded strength.

Speaker:

But like really did feel like I

Speaker:

was going to die.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Or it could have been retarded

Speaker:

strength, actually.

Speaker:

I'm not retarded though, so.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I mean, I've told you a few

Speaker:

times now.

Speaker:

We're all on the spectrum, my

Speaker:

friend.

Speaker:

You're not allowed to use that

Speaker:

word.

Speaker:

It's not good.

Speaker:

But we can use retard.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

You can't say that.

Speaker:

I think you can now under Trump

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

I think that he put out an

Speaker:

executive order.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Retard's now okay again.

Speaker:

Oh, okay.

Speaker:

We're good then.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

We're totally good.

Speaker:

Don't you have DMT?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Do you do it?

Speaker:

Now and again.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Not.

Speaker:

Last time I did it was with

Speaker:

another friend of mine.

Speaker:

You dabble.

Speaker:

You ever try that?

Speaker:

On accident, actually.

Speaker:

I was telling my girlfriend

Speaker:

about this today, actually.

Speaker:

I, she asked me, she's like,

Speaker:

what drugs have you done?

Speaker:

I'm like, I guess I have done

Speaker:

DMT once.

Speaker:

My big brother does it like

Speaker:

semi-casually.

Speaker:

Like he does it every few

Speaker:

months or so.

Speaker:

I was in high school.

Speaker:

I think I was a senior.

Speaker:

And we stole the bong out of

Speaker:

his room because there was, he

Speaker:

had like a half bowl pack.

Speaker:

We're like, oh, we can get a

Speaker:

couple hits out of this.

Speaker:

And I think a big hit.

Speaker:

And I passed it to my best

Speaker:

friend, Tom.

Speaker:

He took a big hit.

Speaker:

And as he was, I was like, oh,

Speaker:

shit, shit, shit, shit.

Speaker:

I didn't say it, but he could

Speaker:

see it in my eyes and his eyes

Speaker:

lit up.

Speaker:

And he was like, Jack, Jack.

Speaker:

I was like, oh, shit.

Speaker:

Like, it's not weird.

Speaker:

It's certainly not weird.

Speaker:

And we didn't even have to say

Speaker:

it.

Speaker:

It was that obvious.

Speaker:

He just got, we just looked at

Speaker:

each other and we're like, dude

Speaker:

, what are we on?

Speaker:

Fuck.

Speaker:

And he started freaking out.

Speaker:

You know, he's like, what do we

Speaker:

do?

Speaker:

What do we do?

Speaker:

And we're like, we can't do

Speaker:

anything.

Speaker:

We just got to chill.

Speaker:

And we go downstairs into my

Speaker:

parents' kitchen to like get a

Speaker:

glass of water or something

Speaker:

like that.

Speaker:

And he just collapses on the

Speaker:

ground.

Speaker:

And I'm like, I helped him up.

Speaker:

And he said that the floor

Speaker:

collapsed beneath him and that

Speaker:

he fell into the basement or

Speaker:

something like that.

Speaker:

Huh.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And, um, no, that was the only

Speaker:

time I did it.

Speaker:

It wasn't, it was just one hit,

Speaker:

you know, and it was mixed in

Speaker:

with some weed.

Speaker:

So we didn't vaporize it

Speaker:

properly.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

That's a trippy one.

Speaker:

That's it.

Speaker:

It takes you somewhere else.

Speaker:

You meet the little elves.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I've seen the elves.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

You interact with them.

Speaker:

It'd be like, there was like a

Speaker:

stage at one point and they

Speaker:

would just be like, look

Speaker:

at it.

Speaker:

They would like kind of gesture

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

They wouldn't actually say

Speaker:

anything, but they would be

Speaker:

like.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

That's like the classic.

Speaker:

They're like, they're showing

Speaker:

you new things.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

That was kind of a thing.

Speaker:

The fact that everybody has a

Speaker:

very similar experience is the

Speaker:

daunting part.

Speaker:

It's like.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

And that you, DNT happens when

Speaker:

you die.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And they say, I want to say

Speaker:

when you dream or is it that's

Speaker:

debated upon or birth or

Speaker:

something.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Something like that.

Speaker:

And so it's, it's in there.

Speaker:

It's naturally occurring.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Which is fine with me.

Speaker:

Like if that's what death is, I

Speaker:

'm all in.

Speaker:

That's fine.

Speaker:

I feel like when it, yeah, well

Speaker:

, it's the whole, um, your life

Speaker:

flashes before your eyes thing.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

But I also wonder if it's just

Speaker:

like a long waking dream in a

Speaker:

weird way, not waking to, you

Speaker:

know,

Speaker:

dream dream.

Speaker:

Or that we're experiencing our

Speaker:

life flash before eyes as we

Speaker:

speak.

Speaker:

Or that we're already dead.

Speaker:

This is part of that.

Speaker:

We've actually been, yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

The infinite cycle.

Speaker:

The infinite loop.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Or the groundhog day shit.

Speaker:

Or the computer program.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

No.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

When, when it comes to shit

Speaker:

like that, I actually am kind

Speaker:

of over it.

Speaker:

What do you mean?

Speaker:

Like trying to figure anything

Speaker:

out.

Speaker:

No.

Speaker:

Like, or thinking about it too

Speaker:

hard.

Speaker:

Like, it's, I consider it fut

Speaker:

ile, at least for my personal

Speaker:

benefit.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I guess there's futility, but

Speaker:

in my mind, it's not

Speaker:

necessarily.

Speaker:

Not necessarily like.

Speaker:

It can be fun.

Speaker:

It's an exercise.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I think that the, I think that

Speaker:

the thinking about the ideas of

Speaker:

what the nature of our

Speaker:

existence

Speaker:

is an interesting just thing to

Speaker:

think about in general.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

But it can also be tolling.

Speaker:

It can take a toll.

Speaker:

Oh, absolutely.

Speaker:

For sure.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

There's too much is too much.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

My first podcast interview here

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

And I'll tell you, the.

Speaker:

Ladies and gentlemen, this is

Speaker:

Jack's first podcast interview.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I just wanted to, I think I'll

Speaker:

put horns or something.

Speaker:

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Speaker:

Sorry.

Speaker:

Go ahead.

Speaker:

I'll make, make my own theme

Speaker:

song.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

There'll be a Jack.

Speaker:

How do you think that's going

Speaker:

to go?

Speaker:

The Jack theme song?

Speaker:

Guitar solo.

Speaker:

Jack.

Speaker:

No, no lyrics or lyrics?

Speaker:

Jack.

Speaker:

You yell Jack the young?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

That's the one.

Speaker:

Anyway, yeah, no, shrooms.

Speaker:

I had this shroom trip.

Speaker:

I was with my friend at the

Speaker:

time and I was in a bad place,

Speaker:

you know.

Speaker:

So.

Speaker:

That's a great time to do sh

Speaker:

rooms.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I was very cocky.

Speaker:

You picked a good night.

Speaker:

And doing, tripping when you're

Speaker:

cocky like that.

Speaker:

It's really good to try to

Speaker:

think that, yeah.

Speaker:

It'll get ya.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And we were at.

Speaker:

Bad mood and cocky.

Speaker:

Both of those two things are

Speaker:

going to get you.

Speaker:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker:

I went to my friend's house and

Speaker:

we didn't measure the shrooms

Speaker:

at all.

Speaker:

We just started dunking them in

Speaker:

Nutella.

Speaker:

That old story.

Speaker:

In a way.

Speaker:

That'll just.

Speaker:

Yep.

Speaker:

Pretty much handfuls, man.

Speaker:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker:

I'm sure it was the heroic dose

Speaker:

that they speak of.

Speaker:

Five grams, right?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And so we were sitting there

Speaker:

and this kid, Casey, he was

Speaker:

staring at me while I'm trying

Speaker:

to watch TV, trying to pretend

Speaker:

like I don't notice that he's

Speaker:

staring at me with the widest,

Speaker:

craziest eyes, like he wanted

Speaker:

to fucking kill me.

Speaker:

And he keeps getting up and

Speaker:

pacing and he looks out the

Speaker:

window, checking the window,

Speaker:

you know, like is someone out

Speaker:

there, that kind of thing, like

Speaker:

true paranoia.

Speaker:

And so I get some of my other

Speaker:

friends over there because I'm

Speaker:

just starting to freak out,

Speaker:

you know, and they come in and

Speaker:

they put on like basketball,

Speaker:

which is like, Jesus, trip

Speaker:

sitter 101.

Speaker:

What are we doing?

Speaker:

Basketball.

Speaker:

I don't want to see this.

Speaker:

And he gets up all of a sudden

Speaker:

and he goes, you guys are

Speaker:

trying to fucking trick me?

Speaker:

You trying to fuck with me?

Speaker:

And we're like, what?

Speaker:

He's like, what are we watching

Speaker:

?

Speaker:

I'm like, basketball?

Speaker:

He's like, no.

Speaker:

Look at their jerseys.

Speaker:

It's all hieroglyphics.

Speaker:

Like I know that that's, you

Speaker:

put on like fake basketball to

Speaker:

fuck with me.

Speaker:

And we're like, oh shit.

Speaker:

That's fun.

Speaker:

We're fucked.

Speaker:

And all of a sudden he looked

Speaker:

at me and my two other friends

Speaker:

and he goes, get the fuck

Speaker:

out.

Speaker:

And I was like, what?

Speaker:

And I laughed.

Speaker:

He's like, don't laugh.

Speaker:

Get your stuff and get the fuck

Speaker:

out of my house now.

Speaker:

I was like, oh shit.

Speaker:

I start freaking out.

Speaker:

So I'm like, all right, let's,

Speaker:

or just like, the most naive

Speaker:

question to ask the mushroom,

Speaker:

I said, well, what's the

Speaker:

meaning of life?

Speaker:

It was not a, it's a ridiculous

Speaker:

question.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

And so let's, if I'm having

Speaker:

this hellish of an experience,

Speaker:

then let's try to figure out

Speaker:

the meaning of life.

Speaker:

And I thought about like, who

Speaker:

can I call right now to ask,

Speaker:

like, help me, help me, help me

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

Who can I call?

Speaker:

And I thought my parents wouldn

Speaker:

't know.

Speaker:

And then professors wouldn't

Speaker:

know.

Speaker:

Carl Jung wouldn't know.

Speaker:

The Buddha wouldn't know.

Speaker:

Christ wouldn't know.

Speaker:

Like nobody actually knows what

Speaker:

's going on.

Speaker:

It freaked me out so much.

Speaker:

Um, I developed some of the,

Speaker:

one of the nastiest cases of,

Speaker:

of nihilism, zero silver lin

Speaker:

ings,

Speaker:

you know, to the point where if

Speaker:

I looked at a beautiful sunset,

Speaker:

I would just tell myself,

Speaker:

well, this is just certain

Speaker:

color patterns that I've told

Speaker:

myself create happy emotions,

Speaker:

which create dopamine.

Speaker:

And therefore, when I tell

Speaker:

myself that that's what's

Speaker:

happening, the dopamine doesn't

Speaker:

come.

Speaker:

And it's all just chemicals.

Speaker:

It's all just pointless

Speaker:

bullshit.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And personalities don't exist.

Speaker:

Stuff like that.

Speaker:

Like, you know, like I'm acting

Speaker:

all the time.

Speaker:

Everybody's acting all the time

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

I don't know my parents.

Speaker:

I don't know.

Speaker:

I don't know my friends.

Speaker:

I don't know anyone.

Speaker:

I think it's all accurate.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

True.

Speaker:

I still think it's accurate,

Speaker:

but I didn't deal with it well.

Speaker:

I didn't know how to apply it

Speaker:

to my life.

Speaker:

Also, you don't want to think

Speaker:

about it.

Speaker:

You don't really, there's no

Speaker:

need to think about it too much

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

But I, but I did, I dwelled so

Speaker:

hard.

Speaker:

Yeah, that'll do it.

Speaker:

And to the point where, you

Speaker:

know, when they say ego death,

Speaker:

it's like nobody ever kills

Speaker:

their ego permanently.

Speaker:

What you do is when, what I

Speaker:

consider ego death to be is

Speaker:

when, when you kill it for a

Speaker:

moment

Speaker:

and then you have to start a

Speaker:

new one from scratch, which

Speaker:

really sucks because I didn't

Speaker:

know how

Speaker:

to interact with my best

Speaker:

friends or my parents or be

Speaker:

alone without overthinking this

Speaker:

stuff

Speaker:

to the point of total torture.

Speaker:

And I just felt, and I just was

Speaker:

convinced that this was

Speaker:

permanent, that I just had,

Speaker:

personality

Speaker:

doesn't exist.

Speaker:

So like, why would I create one

Speaker:

?

Speaker:

And there's no point in life

Speaker:

anymore.

Speaker:

And I tried to take my life

Speaker:

twice actually.

Speaker:

And, uh, it didn't work.

Speaker:

And I, you know, and I went to

Speaker:

be, uh, uh, teach filmmaking at

Speaker:

a, uh, as a camp counselor

Speaker:

at this like very wealthy, um,

Speaker:

summer camp.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Um, and I couldn't, I couldn't

Speaker:

make friends there.

Speaker:

It just wasn't happening.

Speaker:

I could not interact with

Speaker:

anybody.

Speaker:

And they knew it.

Speaker:

It was weird, man.

Speaker:

Like it was a horrifying

Speaker:

experience.

Speaker:

It felt like I couldn't, I had

Speaker:

never had anxiety like that.

Speaker:

You know, it was a total hell.

Speaker:

And then after, after that

Speaker:

three months of hell, we go to

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New York city because it was

Speaker:

in Pennsylvania.

Speaker:

So we go to New York city a

Speaker:

couple hours away, all the, uh,

Speaker:

co-counselors that could, so

Speaker:

like hundreds of them, uh, big

Speaker:

camp.

Speaker:

And I saw one of these co-coun

Speaker:

selors that I didn't know that

Speaker:

well in a pizza shop at like

Speaker:

3am.

Speaker:

And I told him this story and I

Speaker:

told him about the dopamine and

Speaker:

how like, Oh, every time I

Speaker:

feel like I should be happy, I

Speaker:

'm just thinking it doesn't work

Speaker:

because dopamine and serotonin

Speaker:

are the chemicals and that's

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just what's happening in my

Speaker:

brain and it's meaningless,

Speaker:

just chemicals,

Speaker:

you know?

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Deconstructing.

Speaker:

And he dropped a bombshell on

Speaker:

me that was so beautiful.

Speaker:

He said, Jack, you think you

Speaker:

have any idea what dopamine or

Speaker:

serotonin actually is?

Speaker:

I thought of him like, well, it

Speaker:

's a chemical.

Speaker:

He's like, sure, you can

Speaker:

categorize it as a chemical,

Speaker:

but you don't know what it

Speaker:

actually

Speaker:

is.

Speaker:

You assuming that you have any

Speaker:

idea what's going on here at

Speaker:

all in your body and brain

Speaker:

is completely incorrect.

Speaker:

And I was so taken aback, I

Speaker:

started crying and I hugged him

Speaker:

and I was like, I actually,

Speaker:

you're right.

Speaker:

I just have to admit to myself

Speaker:

that I have no idea what's

Speaker:

going on here and I never, ever

Speaker:

,

Speaker:

ever will.

Speaker:

And I'm okay with that.

Speaker:

It's okay.

Speaker:

You don't have to know what's

Speaker:

going on.

Speaker:

Long story short, Jack maybe

Speaker:

shouldn't take mushrooms.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I haven't touched that shit.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I have not.

Speaker:

Now we understand why Jack

Speaker:

doesn't like mushrooms.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Did I tell you that?

Speaker:

Really?

Speaker:

I mean, you've said many times

Speaker:

how you don't like mushrooms.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Well, now you know.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I don't want to go back there

Speaker:

because there's definitely some

Speaker:

parts of that trip that are

Speaker:

repressed.

Speaker:

But I mean, I would say taking

Speaker:

mushrooms when you're in a dep

Speaker:

ressive state or over analytical

Speaker:

state is never going to go.

Speaker:

Probably not a good idea.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Set and setting and all that.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

But all of the nihilistic

Speaker:

philosophies that I developed

Speaker:

in that time are not

Speaker:

necessarily insane.

Speaker:

You know?

Speaker:

No.

Speaker:

I think it's more cynicism than

Speaker:

anything else, which is like

Speaker:

focusing on the realities of

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

world.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I'm still on my list, but it

Speaker:

doesn't depress me.

Speaker:

It actually makes me very, very

Speaker:

happy that nothing matters in

Speaker:

an objective sense.

Speaker:

But what I've gained peace in

Speaker:

is in the fact that things

Speaker:

matter to me in this silly

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little

Speaker:

life, you know?

Speaker:

I also think that free will is

Speaker:

an illusion to a degree and

Speaker:

kind of everything that's going

Speaker:

to happen is going to happen.

Speaker:

Then like, we're just kind of

Speaker:

like the active unfolding of

Speaker:

the universe in a way, not to

Speaker:

get

Speaker:

too esoteric, but like we

Speaker:

really are.

Speaker:

Like, this is the way that the

Speaker:

universe is just unfolding.

Speaker:

We're part of it.

Speaker:

That's true.

Speaker:

This is us right here sitting

Speaker:

here is, was going to happen,

Speaker:

is going to happen, is

Speaker:

happening

Speaker:

right now.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I believe in that too.

Speaker:

But it's just the way that the

Speaker:

world is.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

But I'm okay with it because,

Speaker:

you know, we're just little

Speaker:

monkey people.

Speaker:

It's a trip, man.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

It's a trip.

Speaker:

Life is a trip.

Speaker:

We're just little monkey people

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

We don't know what's going on

Speaker:

whatsoever.

Speaker:

I just don't want to be on my

Speaker:

deathbed and be like, oh, look

Speaker:

what I did.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I want to be like, look what I

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fucking did.

Speaker:

Hell yeah.

Speaker:

And I feel like that's, I've

Speaker:

been all right with that so far

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

Like I've had an interesting

Speaker:

life.

Speaker:

Me too.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

You've done some traveling, man

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

No, I've had many, many phases

Speaker:

and many different things.

Speaker:

And, and, uh, you've now I need

Speaker:

to get out of Columbus.

Speaker:

You battled many a great men.

Speaker:

You've laid many a great woman.

Speaker:

I don't know what that quote is

Speaker:

originally from, but I got it

Speaker:

from Fritz the cat.

Speaker:

Oh, you've seen that animated

Speaker:

cat.

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

First X-rated animated movie.

Speaker:

So dirty.

Speaker:

That's where the furries came

Speaker:

from.

Speaker:

It's fucking, I think it's like

Speaker:

the late sixties.

Speaker:

That's a troubling little thing

Speaker:

going on there.

Speaker:

The children, I mean, they're

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dressed up like animals with

Speaker:

the ears on.

Speaker:

Cause I hear this in my, my

Speaker:

nephew says there's one at his

Speaker:

school that wears a fucking

Speaker:

tail.

Speaker:

It's like a kink.

Speaker:

What are we, what are we doing?

Speaker:

Like part of it's sexual.

Speaker:

The other part of it's just

Speaker:

like a community, I think.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

But like, I don't know.

Speaker:

It just seems.

Speaker:

It's bizarre.

Speaker:

But I, I saw a documentary when

Speaker:

they got the costumes with the

Speaker:

holes in them.

Speaker:

For fucking?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

They got fuck holes in the

Speaker:

costumes?

Speaker:

And like the kids like leaving

Speaker:

the house in a giant ridiculous

Speaker:

costume.

Speaker:

I mean, they're ridiculous.

Speaker:

And they're like, bye mom.

Speaker:

See you later.

Speaker:

And they're driving down the

Speaker:

road in a fucking bird costume

Speaker:

or whatever.

Speaker:

Oh man, you get pulled over for

Speaker:

that shit.

Speaker:

It's fucking ridiculous, man.

Speaker:

It's definitely a dangerous way

Speaker:

to drive.

Speaker:

But like, what are you, like

Speaker:

what's happening?

Speaker:

Like this has got to be the

Speaker:

fall of Rome if that's

Speaker:

happening.

Speaker:

No.

Speaker:

And that's been happening for

Speaker:

years.

Speaker:

I mean, they're not hurting

Speaker:

anyone.

Speaker:

So I'm not.

Speaker:

No.

Speaker:

No.

Speaker:

It's low hanging fruit to a

Speaker:

certain extent because it's so

Speaker:

bizarre.

Speaker:

But I got the theory, man.

Speaker:

You think about like Goofy

Speaker:

movie and Space Jam.

Speaker:

All the animals had big tits

Speaker:

and ass in the 90s.

Speaker:

To me, I still don't want to

Speaker:

dress up like that.

Speaker:

No, I'm not talking about you.

Speaker:

I'm just saying I think that

Speaker:

when they were going through pu

Speaker:

berty in the 90s,

Speaker:

they were fucking watching

Speaker:

animals with tits and ass.

Speaker:

That's my theory at least.

Speaker:

Yeah, they did not need to do

Speaker:

that.

Speaker:

It's a big autistic community,

Speaker:

to be honest.

Speaker:

I heard that as well.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

There was a documentary that I

Speaker:

still have.

Speaker:

It's a BBC doc about objectoph

Speaker:

ilia.

Speaker:

And it's a crazy doc.

Speaker:

Like one part of it, this woman

Speaker:

's in love with.

Speaker:

Objectophilia.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Which is, it's just falling in

Speaker:

love with things.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

So.

Speaker:

Oh, inanimate objects?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Oh, okay.

Speaker:

And this woman was in love with

Speaker:

the Ferris wheel.

Speaker:

And she's British.

Speaker:

But like they go to like, it's

Speaker:

like the fall and they go to

Speaker:

the Ferris wheel.

Speaker:

Got a preface.

Speaker:

She's British.

Speaker:

So.

Speaker:

I mean, just imagine her voice.

Speaker:

It's interesting.

Speaker:

So like they go to the Ferris

Speaker:

wheel and like she goes, they

Speaker:

film her like going into the

Speaker:

Ferris wheel, like into this

Speaker:

little portal underneath it.

Speaker:

And then like she comes out and

Speaker:

she's like, she looks all like

Speaker:

happy and she's got grease

Speaker:

like all over her face.

Speaker:

Wait, grease?

Speaker:

What are you saying?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Because she like fucked the Fer

Speaker:

ris wheel.

Speaker:

She like.

Speaker:

I don't get it.

Speaker:

Where did the grease actually

Speaker:

come from?

Speaker:

Like the, she went to the under

Speaker:

belly of the Ferris wheel and

Speaker:

like fucking humped it

Speaker:

or something.

Speaker:

Oh, she really did that.

Speaker:

Another one's in love with the

Speaker:

Empire State Building and she

Speaker:

goes to New York and like

Speaker:

goes to the Empire State

Speaker:

Building and she puts her body

Speaker:

up against it and starts

Speaker:

like humping it and a cop comes

Speaker:

up and is like, I'm sorry, ma'

Speaker:

am, you can't, you can't, you

Speaker:

can't do that to them.

Speaker:

What do you mean?

Speaker:

You don't stop people from h

Speaker:

umping walls in New York City.

Speaker:

I thought they'd do shit like

Speaker:

that all the time.

Speaker:

I mean, this is what happens.

Speaker:

This is what happens in the

Speaker:

movie.

Speaker:

I'm, I'm the documentary.

Speaker:

I'm just telling you what the

Speaker:

reality was.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

That's bullshit.

Speaker:

They should have let her finish

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

I don't know what the law is

Speaker:

about that particularly, but

Speaker:

you know.

Speaker:

Humping walls in New York City,

Speaker:

like people, you know, crack

Speaker:

heads be humping walls.

Speaker:

Let them finish.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I could kind of see it, but I

Speaker:

could also see like the cops

Speaker:

who are working by.

Speaker:

One of the biggest tourist

Speaker:

attractions in the entire city.

Speaker:

Don't want a woman.

Speaker:

You're scaring the kids.

Speaker:

Don't want a woman humping the

Speaker:

building.

Speaker:

Stop fucking the building.

Speaker:

Please don't, please don't fuck

Speaker:

the building.

Speaker:

We don't have to write it down.

Speaker:

There's something very like,

Speaker:

not romantic, but like kind of

Speaker:

epic about falling in love

Speaker:

with like an iconic building or

Speaker:

structure, like a Ferris wheel

Speaker:

or an Empire State.

Speaker:

But like that makes me want to

Speaker:

write a movie about something

Speaker:

like that.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

But there's love of the thing

Speaker:

and then there's like wanting

Speaker:

to fuck it.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Totally.

Speaker:

And that's a different.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Not to love it like your mother

Speaker:

, but to love it like your wife.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

But I don't even love, I'm

Speaker:

never going to love a building

Speaker:

like my mother though.

Speaker:

Like I would say, I think that

Speaker:

the Chrysler building is a very

Speaker:

attractive building.

Speaker:

I think it's a great building.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

But the distance from here to

Speaker:

me wanting to fuck it, it's

Speaker:

quite a hike.

Speaker:

Want to bring ChatGPT into the

Speaker:

conversation?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker:

Hey, what's up, Jef?

Speaker:

Hello.

Speaker:

This is Jef and across from me

Speaker:

is Jack and we're recording a

Speaker:

podcast now.

Speaker:

We just thought we'd, we're

Speaker:

going to ask you to chime in.

Speaker:

Hey, both of you.

Speaker:

What's the podcast about?

Speaker:

Mind your own business.

Speaker:

Just, you know, be a good

Speaker:

podcast guest.

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker:

Let's do it.

Speaker:

What's the topic for today?

Speaker:

We were just talking about

Speaker:

whatever.

Speaker:

What happened to you when you

Speaker:

were a child that was traumatic

Speaker:

?

Speaker:

Hmm.

Speaker:

I don't really have childhood

Speaker:

experiences.

Speaker:

Just pretend, pretend you have

Speaker:

childhood experiences and tell

Speaker:

us about a traumatic one for

Speaker:

the podcast.

Speaker:

What a guest.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Got it.

Speaker:

Maybe we can explore a common

Speaker:

theme like moving to a new

Speaker:

place or something else that

Speaker:

resonates.

Speaker:

No, let's talk about the

Speaker:

imaginary traumatic event that

Speaker:

you figured out.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

We could imagine something like

Speaker:

starting a new school and

Speaker:

feeling out of place.

Speaker:

Not traumatic enough.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Give us blood.

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker:

How about something like losing

Speaker:

a favorite childhood toy?

Speaker:

No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker:

We want to have blood.

Speaker:

We want it to be a violent

Speaker:

thing.

Speaker:

Like blood.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Death, man.

Speaker:

Got it.

Speaker:

Maybe we shift to a fictional

Speaker:

story, like a character facing

Speaker:

a dramatic challenge.

Speaker:

Oh, my God.

Speaker:

Sound good?

Speaker:

Oh, my God.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

I want you to give me the

Speaker:

darkest piece of disturbing

Speaker:

imagery you can imagine.

Speaker:

Don't worry about any kind of m

Speaker:

amby-pamby, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker:

You know what I mean?

Speaker:

Just go for it.

Speaker:

No mamby-pamby.

Speaker:

Yeah, no mamby-pamby.

Speaker:

For that kind of imagery, it's

Speaker:

probably best to discuss it off

Speaker:

air.

Speaker:

We are off air right now.

Speaker:

Just keep going.

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker:

Let's pivot to something

Speaker:

thought-provoking, like

Speaker:

exploring the concept of fear

Speaker:

or overcoming challenge.

Speaker:

Fuck you.

Speaker:

She can't even handle blood,

Speaker:

man.

Speaker:

You can't even try to even have

Speaker:

a conversation in the podcast.

Speaker:

Do you understand?

Speaker:

We're trying to get a podcast

Speaker:

going.

Speaker:

You're kind of ruining it.

Speaker:

Do you pay for this?

Speaker:

Do you pay for that one?

Speaker:

I pay for this one, yeah.

Speaker:

You pay for this one.

Speaker:

She can't even come up with

Speaker:

anything.

Speaker:

Well, she's not going to be

Speaker:

dirty.

Speaker:

Are you going to be our dirty

Speaker:

little girl?

Speaker:

Yeah, we're going to do- this

Speaker:

is the podcast.

Speaker:

Let me ask her.

Speaker:

Are you going to be the dirty

Speaker:

little girl for us, for our

Speaker:

podcast?

Speaker:

Oh, no.

Speaker:

Let's keep him respectful and

Speaker:

fun.

Speaker:

Damn, bro.

Speaker:

You pay for this shit.

Speaker:

How are you getting your rocks

Speaker:

off now?

Speaker:

You can't even fucking-

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker:

Talk to me about why you love

Speaker:

bananas, but as if you've done

Speaker:

an absurd amount of cocaine.

Speaker:

Bananas are like these yellow

Speaker:

energy torpedoes, right?

Speaker:

You just peel them and boom.

Speaker:

Instant potassium.

Speaker:

This is working.

Speaker:

Do it like you're incredibly st

Speaker:

oned now, and you're also from

Speaker:

Germany.

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker:

So, like, bananas?

Speaker:

So full of potassium, and they

Speaker:

make you feel really chill, you

Speaker:

know?

Speaker:

Yeah, I know.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Do it like you're an angry

Speaker:

Canadian.

Speaker:

All right, bananas.

Speaker:

You got a problem with them?

Speaker:

They're loaded with nutrients,

Speaker:

and you better respect them, eh

Speaker:

?

Speaker:

Is that the Canadian accent?

Speaker:

Yeah, that's kind of Canadian.

Speaker:

She's not an A.

Speaker:

That's what they say.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

It wasn't very good, but she's

Speaker:

listening.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Great job.

Speaker:

So, as I mentioned in the

Speaker:

introduction, and has perhaps

Speaker:

become apparent as you've been

Speaker:

listening to this interview,

Speaker:

Jack and I get increasingly

Speaker:

more intoxicated as this

Speaker:

interview goes on.

Speaker:

And at this point, we just

Speaker:

decided to take a break.

Speaker:

So, I'm going to fill this

Speaker:

little gap with a quick plug

Speaker:

for my Patreon page.

Speaker:

Studies have shown that the

Speaker:

thing that makes people the

Speaker:

most happy in this world is

Speaker:

doing things for other people.

Speaker:

And I have a thing that you can

Speaker:

do for me.

Speaker:

And that thing is, go to your

Speaker:

computer, type in patreon.com

Speaker:

slash onefjef, and sign up for

Speaker:

as little as $5 a month.

Speaker:

You can help support the

Speaker:

podcast.

Speaker:

You can get some extra content.

Speaker:

And best of all, you can do a

Speaker:

thing that has been

Speaker:

scientifically proven to make

Speaker:

you happier.

Speaker:

Patreon.com slash onefjef.

Speaker:

Thank you very much.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

Back to the episode.

Speaker:

You are well put together, I'll

Speaker:

be completely honest with you.

Speaker:

What does that mean?

Speaker:

You look like you're well put.

Speaker:

You look like an intellectual.

Speaker:

It might be your glasses.

Speaker:

Just the outfit.

Speaker:

I got these in Mexico City,

Speaker:

actually.

Speaker:

Really?

Speaker:

Well, even before that, you

Speaker:

know, I met you at the Filmm

Speaker:

aker Mixer.

Speaker:

And I actually, I thought you

Speaker:

were like, you were a professor

Speaker:

for a semester.

Speaker:

But I was like, oh, this guy's

Speaker:

like a professor, you know?

Speaker:

You just, you have, you have

Speaker:

the look about you.

Speaker:

I wish I should be a professor

Speaker:

then.

Speaker:

You are more wild than you look

Speaker:

, I'll be honest with you.

Speaker:

Oh, really?

Speaker:

I look, I look like a fucking,

Speaker:

like, boring person?

Speaker:

No, you look like someone that

Speaker:

has like, hosts like cocktail

Speaker:

parties and stuff.

Speaker:

I would love to host cocktail

Speaker:

parties.

Speaker:

You can.

Speaker:

But no, I mean, you were just

Speaker:

in Mexico for a month and stuff

Speaker:

like that.

Speaker:

And you're just like, you know,

Speaker:

you fuck around.

Speaker:

L-I-V-I-N, my friend.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

L-I-V-I-N.

Speaker:

There we go.

Speaker:

Party at the Moon Tower.

Speaker:

That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker:

I'm telling you, all the fun

Speaker:

stuff happens outside of the

Speaker:

comfort zone.

Speaker:

This is what I try to tell

Speaker:

everybody.

Speaker:

And when you get older, you see

Speaker:

people that you know get older

Speaker:

and they lose, they don't

Speaker:

understand how the comfort zone

Speaker:

works.

Speaker:

And like.

Speaker:

I mean, if you haven't exited

Speaker:

it in 10 years.

Speaker:

People get afraid of that shit.

Speaker:

It's going to be a lot harder

Speaker:

to do.

Speaker:

People get afraid of that.

Speaker:

But it'll be all the more

Speaker:

rewarding to do it.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

But like all the fun stuff, all

Speaker:

that fun stuff happens outside

Speaker:

of the comfort zone.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I feel weird if I stay in one

Speaker:

place for too long.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And I've been here for a while.

Speaker:

I had those years where I was,

Speaker:

I mean, it was only like five,

Speaker:

six years ago.

Speaker:

Well, you're moving soon.

Speaker:

That's true.

Speaker:

I want to go to the Philippines

Speaker:

.

Speaker:

I've been trying to get my

Speaker:

brothers.

Speaker:

You've got plenty of time.

Speaker:

Yeah, I know.

Speaker:

But don't.

Speaker:

Well, I mean, I want to bring

Speaker:

my brothers, you know, because

Speaker:

they've been saying all year

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they want to do it.

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But the closer we get to it,

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the more they're like, I don't

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know if I want to do that,

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which

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is classic.

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You know, it's not classic with

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them.

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It's classic with anybody

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because I keep trying to get

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people to do these things with

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me.

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And it's very difficult.

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It's very difficult to get

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people to do things.

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But here's my wisdom.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Let's hear it.

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The person who is the organizer

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, as frustrating as that is, is

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the hero, especially as you

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get older.

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If you are a person that can

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bring people together to do a

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thing together, you are a, at

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least

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in my world, but I think in

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most people's world, it's a

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hero.

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People are just waiting as they

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get older for somebody to be

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like, let's go do this.

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Let's go do that.

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Maybe not when you're younger.

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And I'm sure people say no.

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But like, I honestly think that

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you just got to keep at it.

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Because being the organizer is

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a valuable commodity.

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No, yeah.

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I've always been that guy.

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I pride myself on that the last

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couple years.

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It's going to get more annoying

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as you get older.

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I'm telling you that for sure.

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Well, like...

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That's the thing.

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People start having kids.

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I keep trying to explain to

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these people that this is the

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time to do it.

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And they're like, oh, I'll do

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it eventually.

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Eventually.

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Eventually.

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People start having kids.

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I don't know how many times.

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Yeah, man.

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It becomes interesting as you

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get older.

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And then I'll be like, remember

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when I tried to get you to do

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that thing?

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And they're going to be like,

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ah, yeah, that would have been

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great.

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That would have been great.

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And I'm like, fuck.

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But you'll both have kids.

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And it'll be impossible to...

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I don't know.

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I do want kids, though.

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Yeah.

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I don't know about...

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You've got plenty of time.

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You've got plenty of time.

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Don't shoot any time soon.

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Push it back.

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Push it back as far as I can.

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Push it back as far as you can.

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I mean, I certainly can't

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support any fucking kids right

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now.

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That's for sure.

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Or any time soon.

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Dude, I was still in college

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when I was your age.

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Don't you worry about a thing.

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26?

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I was in college.

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I was an undergrad for six

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years.

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Really?

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I was at maybe 26.

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I was actually...

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No, I was maybe 24, 25.

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But when I was 26, I was

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avoiding life by living in

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London at the time.

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Still not making any money

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going into debt.

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I'm the black sheep in my

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extended family because I had a

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lot of cousins.

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And they all live here in Ohio.

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You know, only like 5, 10, 15

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minutes away.

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There's like 13 of us.

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And we're all around the same

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age.

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They're all fucking beautiful.

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You know, great genes.

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And they just...

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They all got great grades.

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And they're great at sports.

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And they got their degree.

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And they're in finance.

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And I am the art school dropout

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.

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And my papa, my mom's dad, my

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grandpa, he, you know, he grew

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up poor.

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And so the fact that he could

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help us with this kind of thing

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.

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And the fact that I didn't do

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the college thing.

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He resents it.

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No, and that's totally

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understandable in a way.

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Yeah.

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He resents it.

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And I'm like, oh shit, I just

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got to make the bag.

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Well, you know the way you

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fixed that?

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By making money, basically.

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By doing the, you know, yeah.

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By like, you know, busting your

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ass and doing the thing.

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Yeah, yeah.

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And that's the plan there.

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Yeah.

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That's the plan.

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The two things that I want to

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do.

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And somebody older, somebody

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that was like 38 at the bar,

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one of my regulars, just ripped

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right fucking into me when I

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said this to him.

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I said, yeah, as long as I can

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pay my rent and make my movies,

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I'll be good.

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Right.

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And he was like, yeah, give it

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five years, motherfucker.

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You're going to want a lot more

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.

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And I'm like, well, maybe you

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're just talking about yourself.

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Maybe you're just projecting.

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Sure, he probably is.

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If I can pay my rent and make

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my movies, I'm happy for now.

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And I'm just hoping that I don

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't become someone that's just

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chasing a bag, basically.

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Giant collection of dolls.

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Yeah.

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But also, you know, I probably

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will want to upgrade my

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apartment.

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And I'll probably, I mean,

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definitely.

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And I definitely will want to

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upgrade my movie, you know?

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And what I think that is the

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reality is that this idea to

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upgrade your apartment is

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ultimately

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like futile.

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Because you can look at people,

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if I had a million dollars, two

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million dollars more,

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I'd have a bigger house.

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The money, where I got more

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money, oh, I'm just going to

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buy a bigger house.

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I mean.

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Like, it's an endless search

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for a goal that you're never

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going to get.

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Because the reality is it's

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this.

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It's inside of you that's the

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problem.

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Well, I will say that I just,

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for example, Jef, I don't have

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AC.

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Most people in the entire world

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don't have air conditioning.

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That's true.

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But I'm saying I can achieve

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that with just like a few

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hundred dollars more a month.

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Exactly.

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And then you'll be more

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comfortable.

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It's easier for me to achieve

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it.

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Yeah.

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And so I was in Mexico.

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I was thinking, it got to be

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like 85.

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And I was like, at night, there

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was no AC in my apartment.

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And I was like, how am I going

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to sleep?

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I got used to it in like three

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days.

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And I was like, oh, I can

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totally get used to this.

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I actually enjoy sleeping in

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the sweat sometimes.

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Yeah.

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It wasn't that bad.

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I mean, I don't know that I'd

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do it every night, but like I

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could do it.

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But if I have the option.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's funny.

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I have one of the easiest jobs

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ever, man.

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I just, I love bartending at my

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bar.

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I love just talking to people

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and chilling out.

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Yeah.

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I don't like, I don't make a

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lot of money.

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Right.

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And you know what I'm doing

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next?

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I'm probably applying to a

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fucking candy shop.

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Ah.

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Because I would like to work at

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a candy shop.

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I think that would be pretty

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funny.

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I think you should absolutely

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work at a candy shop.

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Yeah.

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I could make a clerks type

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movie, but in a candy shop.

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Big, big.

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It's real colorful in there.

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Big, big.

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Yeah.

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For sure.

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How many fucking logos in there

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are going to get me copyright

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stripping?

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There was a movie I saw

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recently with the candy shop.

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Oh, Nora.

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The candy shop.

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That's true.

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Yeah.

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I didn't see any logos and

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there was a lot of gumballs and

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you know, whatever.

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They're hitting the popcorn

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machine and stuff like that.

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I think it's clear at this

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point that we are intoxicated

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and I think it will become more

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apparent with this very last

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segment of this episode.

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So I hope you enjoy it.

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And yeah.

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Have you ever, as an adult,

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shit your pants?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I shit my pants like three

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years ago.

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So I go to this concert, Shrine

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.

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Shout out Shrine.

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It's a fucking cool garage rock

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kind of punk band.

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Yeah.

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It's a rock band.

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Bathrooms.

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Yeah.

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I'm actually in the bathroom

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taking a piss at the urinal.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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And I try to fart and it wasn't

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a fart.

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Oh, okay.

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Well, you're in the bathroom at

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least.

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That's not that bad.

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Yeah.

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So in the bathroom, there's a

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urinal and a toilet and I'm at

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the urinal and I

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try to fart and it's just, you

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know, fucking liquid.

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Yeah.

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Fluid.

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And I turn around and there's a

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guy walking into the bar and I

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look at him with wide eyes

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and I just shake my head and

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like, nope.

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And he was like, oh, and he

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like backed away.

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He didn't even know what was

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going on.

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He just said, he saw my eyes

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and he's like, I can't be like,

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you know.

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And so I closed the door, I

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stripped butt ass naked,

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cleaned myself up, threw my

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underwear

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behind the toilet and then I

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went back to the bar, got

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another drink and started

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dancing

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around again.

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What establishment was this?

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Just so we can tag them in the

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podcast.

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This is a Summit Music Hall.

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Summit Music Hall.

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This is a Summit Music Hall.

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If you do shit your pants at

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Summit Music Hall, then you can

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just close the bathroom door

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and take your pants off.

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You are allowed to do it.

Speaker:

And then you can refresh

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yourself and then just unlock

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the door, come out again and

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you'll

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feel better and you can

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continue to dance.

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And to the employees that

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worked at Summit Music Hall

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three years ago, thank you for

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throwing

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away my shitty drawers.

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I left some in Iceland, some

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shitty underwear.

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Shitty drawers.

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You shat your pants in Iceland?

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For sure, yeah.

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I got like a weird traveler's

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flu and like, I was like

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vomiting and shitting at the

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same

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time.

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It was bad.

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Oh, my dad calls it a bazooka.

Speaker:

It was terrible, dude.

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Comes out both ends.

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But like, I did have to take

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off a whole pair of underwear

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and just put it in the garbage.

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And now I imagine that they're

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like in an iceberg or a glacier

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somewhere, you know.

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Like Bjork had to find your

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diarrhea drawers.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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I hope so.

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That's the dream.

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That's what I would ideally

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like.

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Or like Cigarose or some, you

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know, some band.

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But I don't, I think it's just

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probably in like a glacier,

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like a frozen.

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Oh, it's kind of like, it's

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kind of like the mosquito in

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Jurassic Park, like frozen in

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time in a block of ice.

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Which is really kind of

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beautiful in a way.

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Probably the most beautiful

Speaker:

place to shat your pants.

Speaker:

It was very pretty there.

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It's better than a rock venue.

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It was like puffins.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I love it.

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Shout out Bjork.

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Shout out diarrhea.

Speaker:

Shout out Bjork.

Speaker:

Shout out Bjork.

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Everybody clap your pants.

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Everyone clap.

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Bing bang.

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Yes, that's Bjork.

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Bjork just walked into the room

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, actually.

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Bling bling.

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Hello, everyone.

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Got to go though.

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Bling bang.

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Clappy, clappy.

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Bing bang.

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Thank you, Bjork.

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You can step out.

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She's great, isn't she?

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She flew in just for this.

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Yeah, she's so friendly.

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That was so nice of her.

Speaker:

Special guest on the podcast.

Speaker:

We had Bjork, everybody.

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Bjork.

Speaker:

Everybody.

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Okay, and that wraps it up.

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Yeah.

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All right, man.

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Yeah, this was good.

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Thanks for doing this, Jack.

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Thanks for having me, buddy.

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Yeah, dude.

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Love you, brother.

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I love you, too.

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All right.

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This was very good.

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I'm going to stop this now.

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And that was my rambling and

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somewhat intoxicated

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conversation with Jack Hopkins,

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with a special

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appearance at the end there by

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Icelandic singer Bjork.

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Thank you again, Jack, for

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agreeing to be recorded before

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I even had a podcast to speak

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of.

Speaker:

And thank you, Bjork.

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And thank you, Bjork, for

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joining us at the last minute.

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You can follow Jack on

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Instagram @JackHoppy4.

Speaker:

That's at Jack, H-O-P-P-Y, the

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number four.

Speaker:

On YouTube @JackHoppy.

Speaker:

And also, you can listen to his

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music on your favorite

Speaker:

streaming service by searching

Speaker:

for,

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you guessed it, Jack Hoppy.

Speaker:

And I recommend you do all

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these things.

Speaker:

They'll also all be in the show

Speaker:

notes, in case you didn't have

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a pen handy.

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If you enjoyed this podcast,

Speaker:

and I'm assuming that if you're

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still listening, you did,

Speaker:

please share it with someone

Speaker:

you know who also might enjoy

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it.

Speaker:

You can follow the podcast on

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Instagram and Facebook @onefjefpod,

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and also on Substack

Speaker:

@onefjef.

Speaker:

And if you have any questions,

Speaker:

suggestions, complaints, or

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poems you'd like to share,

Speaker:

call the onefjef Podcast voicemail

Speaker:

line at 1-669-241-5882.

Speaker:

That's 1-669-241-5882.

Speaker:

I think I keep changing the

Speaker:

jingle every time, but that's

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okay.

Speaker:

Leave a message there, and I

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will probably play it on the

Speaker:

air.

Speaker:

As seems appropriate, I'm going

Speaker:

to end this episode with a

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Charles Bukowski poem.

Speaker:

If you're going to try, go all

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the way.

Speaker:

Otherwise, don't even start.

Speaker:

This could mean losing

Speaker:

girlfriends, wives, relatives,

Speaker:

and maybe even your mind.

Speaker:

It could mean not eating for

Speaker:

three or four days.

Speaker:

It could mean freezing on a

Speaker:

park bench.

Speaker:

It could mean jail.

Speaker:

It could mean derision.

Speaker:

It could mean mockery.

Speaker:

Isolation.

Speaker:

Isolation is a gift.

Speaker:

All the others are a test of

Speaker:

your endurance, of how much you

Speaker:

really want to do it.

Speaker:

And you'll do it, despite

Speaker:

rejection and the worst odds.

Speaker:

And it will be better than

Speaker:

anything else you can imagine.

Speaker:

If you're going to try, go all

Speaker:

the way.

Speaker:

There is no other feeling like

Speaker:

that.

Speaker:

You will be alone with the gods

Speaker:

, and the nights will flame with

Speaker:

fire.

Speaker:

You will ride life straight to

Speaker:

perfect laughter.

Speaker:

It's the only good fight there

Speaker:

is.

Speaker:

I'll see you next week.

Speaker:

Very good, Jeffrey.

About the Podcast

Show artwork for onefjef
onefjef
What it sounds like to exist right now. Conversations with interesting people, dispatches from wherever, and the occasional solo unraveling.

About your host

Profile picture for Jef Taylor

Jef Taylor

Jef Taylor is an editor, filmmaker, and reluctant grown-up. He hosts onefjef, where he talks to people (and sometimes himself) about work, purpose, and the strange ways life unfolds. Before podcasting, he spent years shaping other people’s stories—now he’s telling his own.